DISCLAIMER: This article contains heavy doses of sarcasm. We trust you, the reader, not to interpret this as “violent” or “hateful” rhetoric. Unlike CNN, we don’t think you are morons.

CNN has decided to lead the charge against “violent rhetoric” by apologizing for daring to reference “crosshairs” in their reporting. Glenn applauded their efforts (sarcastically), and decided to start calling out some of the other major offenders out there who need to come forward.

Glenn played audio from John King who said, “From before we go to break, I want to make a quick point.  We were just having a discussion about the Chicago mayoral race just a moment ago.  My friend Andy Shaw who now works for a good government group out there used the term in the cross hairs, talking about the candidates out there. We’re trying.  We’re trying to get away from that language.  Andy is a good friend.  He’s covered politics for a long time, but we’re trying to get away from using that kind of language.  We won’t always be perfect.  We try to meet your standards.”

“That’s the truest thing I’ve ever heard on CNN, CNN finally admitting that they are trying.  Oh, are they ever,” Glenn joked in reference to the struggling network’s ratings.

Maybe CNN should apologize for inciting violence from 1982-2005! Glenn, Stu, and Pat had an investigative report.

“Our investigative journalistic team of me, Pat and Stu took many, many, many seconds all in a row. Over seven seconds to put this report together, and we want to show you that CNN has a long, long, storied history of violent rhetoric, dangerous.  Dangerous, dangerous.  We’re going to show you probably the most glaring example of this that had gone on for years.”

Glenn revealed that unbeknownst to most of the country, CNN aired a show called “Crossfire” from 1982 to 2005. Can we now hold them responsible for Gulf War 1, Gulf War 2, and all the innocent victims of violence of over two decades? (note to Media Matters – we don’t really believe CNN is responsible for all violence from 1982-2005. The odds are very slim anyone was watching)

Glenn’s response to CNN’s apology? “Here’s the message the media needs to have.  You want to know how we’re successful?  You watch because we’re about to become even more successful.  Because we’re not going to treat our viewers, our listeners, our readers like morons.”

Who else should follow CNN’s lead? How about Warner Brothers and “Looney Tunes”?
Glenn joked, “Warner Brothers should step up to the plate and apologize for Yosemite Sam. We should not have the violent Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fudd.  Elmer Fudd’s walking around with a gun and he’s trying to shoot the rabbit.”

Pat added, “He shot Daffy duck’s face off multiple times.”

How about Microsoft Word? As Stu pointed out, the software program that is used in most offices across the country actually allows you to create a “bulleted list”!