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A new book from Glenn Beck

Glenn’s new book, “The Original Argument: The Federalists’ Case for the Constitution, Adapted for the 21stCentury”, arrives in stores tomorrow! Realizing that most Americans have not read the original Federalist Papers papers, Glenn has updated a wide selection of them into modern English for modern readers.

“What is the ‘original argument’? What is, what is the thing that people set their clocks to?  What was it that they set their compass to?  What was true north?  What does it even mean to be a capitalist system?  Has capitalism failed or have we failed it?  Has our republic failed?  Has our Constitution failed or have we failed it?  I contend that we have failed it.  But I contend that it is salvageable.  It is still something that we can grab onto and we can cherish and we can restore,” Glenn explained.

“This is the Federalist Papers, the collection of the writings from our founders put in today’s language and then also explained on why it’s important and what they were trying to do and what our government means and what does ‑‑ why have a Constitution?  Remember, they had to make the case to the American people.  Something that is not happening now.  Nobody is saying to you ‑‑ they are saying capitalism has failed and they are saying the Constitution is old and dusty, but they are not making a case for what to replace it with.  They are just saying it’s old and dusty and it’s no longer relevant.  Well, what are you replacing it with?  What does the system look like?”

“See, we had a failed system before.  It was under the Articles of Confederation.  It failed.  It didn’t work,” Glenn explained.

The Federalist Papers, the eighteenth-century collection of political essays pseudonymously authored by Alexander Hamilton, James Madison, and John Jay defined, defended and shaped the Constitution.

The Papers laid bare the “original argument” over questions that are as relevant and urgent today as they were at the birth of our nation.  Questions like:  How should power be divided between the states and the federal government?  What is the remedy if the government becomes too tyrannical? What is the proper use of military force?  And the most central question of the entire American Experiment:  Is man really capable of ruling himself?

“Under the watchful eye of George Washington, they rewrote the Articles of Confederation, threw them out and wrote a new Constitution, but they had to sell it to the people.  The people had to ratify it.  Each and every state.  It was in slow dribs and drabs where they just tore it apart and before you knew it, they fundamentally transformed the Articles of Confederation.  They took the Articles of Confederation and said it doesn’t work; here’s what does.  And these were articles in the newspaper written by our founders and they said, this is why this part of this Constitution is important, and the faith they had in the American people, it was just profound,” Glenn said.

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While voicing support for Jon Hunstman, Jr. for President, Joe Scarborough said that candidates tend to get centrist very quickly and that Huntsman’s experience in the Obama administration would end up being an asset. “What stronger position than to say, I like the guy? I worked with the guy in China. I just think he’s dead wrong on foreign policy, on healthcare, on ‑‑ and take it out of the personal and go to the American people and say, this isn’t ‑‑ this isn’t a personal thing,” Scarborough said.

Scarborough said that once primaries move to the Midwest, they lose the harsh partisanship and the candidates and the votes become more centrist, and he used John McCain as an example. “You know, with every talk show host in America trashing John McCain day in and day out, trying to kill him because they knew that if he lost on January 29th in Florida that McCain would be out and Romney would be the nominee. You had Hannity, you had Limbaugh, you had Beck, you had Laura Ingraham, you had Fox. You had everybody dedicated to the proposition that politically John McCain must die. And John McCain lost in Florida, waltzed through the Midwest, waltzed to victory.”

” It is primal early, but it gets centrist down the road. And if you don’t believe that, then just ask how people like John McCain or Gerald Ford or Bob Dole.

Only problem? McCain, Ford, and Dole all lost!

” Gerald Ford who lost to the worst presidential candidate in history. And Bob Dole, who lost to a scandal‑ridden president who was being impeached. All lost!” Pat said.

“Coming from MSNBC’s perspective, what do you want other than another loser Republican?” Stu said. “They are employing one in the morning already.”

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Glenn read this incredible story on radio:

Palmer, Alaska, Anthony Ersk is not one to sit and wait for life to happen to him or anyone else. Not only does the ambitious young man have a bachelor’s degree, but he has a book published on deep sea creatures that’s coming out in the next year. This weekend he hopes to accomplish what no other has in the valley, no other has ever done before. A member of the Palmer church of God has invited 37 ‑‑ 37 members of Palmer churches for more than 30 local ministries and several public servants to gather for the first Palmer Springspiration at Raven Hall on the Alaska State fairgrounds. This one‑of‑a‑kind colony days event is meant to unite in song and inspiration a variety of faiths and services for the good of the community. He’s an outgoing man who isn’t shy about his beliefs, this according to his paper. He said conservative radio personality Glenn Beck was the one who initially inspired him to take action to help churches become a special shield in their communities to protect residents from negative outside influences.

Oh, I left one thing out of this story. He’s 11. He’s 11 years old. He already has a bachelor’s degree. Is that right? 11‑year‑old ‑‑ no. No, no. I’m sorry. 11‑year‑old ‑‑ wait. Not only is he ambitious 11‑year‑old, yeah, aim to have a bachelor’s degree by the time he’s 18, but he also has a book coming out. Yeah, he’s 11. That’s insane.

These are the ‑ these are the kinds of things that are happening all around the country.

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Well,we can”t be sure if he did or not – he could have gone to a Whataburger,

“Sometimes people get confused between Bilderbergers and Whataburgers and a bacon cheeseburger,” Pat pointed.

But Glenn does seem convinced he;s going to be running for president.

“Rick Perry, the governor of Texas. Last time I was in Texas, I can’t tell you. This is just a couple of weekends ago, how many people have said please convince Rick Perry to run for president,” Glenn said.

“I don’t know that much about Rick Perry other than what he has said and the condition Texas is in. But if you want to get a candidate who has a record, when you have created, what is it, 38% of all jobs in America since the recession hit? That’s significant.”

“Texas is doing something right. And the rest of the world should pay attention. If Rick Perry, whether he can win or not or whether he’s the right guy or not remains to be seen, but I’ll tell you he’s got a strong message to bring to the American people.”

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A progressive religious organization, American Values Network, has a new ad out attacking conservative leaders like Rush Limbaugh and Paul Ryan by criticizing their appreciation for Ayn Rand’s philosophical views.

The video, courtesy of The Blaze, is below:

“The American Values Network, when you go to their website, it’s a guide to the scriptures and the budget,” Glenn described.

“Capitalism is only what you make of it. But it is the combination of freedom and capitalism and the self choice of being good to one another,” Glenn said in response to the video. “Capitalism goes so far to cover ground that no other system has ever covered. It brings people out of poverty and misery like no other system ever created by man.”

Stu pointed out that on the American Values Network, the site says their media and commercials are paid for by “Faithful America”- an organization founded by Jim Wallis. Oddly enough, another ad they are running defends Jim Wallis while attacking Glenn, but fails to note the connection between the organization and its leader.

And, of course, the group has tied to George Soros.

Stu pointed out that they received at least $800,000 from Soros.org, his website for the Open Society Institute.

“They also met with President Ahmadinejad face to face and called for more face to face meetings with him, with the government,” Stu said.

Stu said, “They received a $250,000 grant designed to help mainstream faith leaders become, quote, much better equipped with talking points, policy papers, intellectual support, prepared testimony, draft op eds, sermons, study guides and church bulletins and more able to unite around shared policy agenda.”

“We have the bake sale and then you have the shared policy initiatives. Those are the two things that the church always does,” Stu joked.

For more info on this group, click here and here

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The Blaze posted a story this morning about a girl who was pulled over by a NYPD officer for wearing a skirt that was too short. Stu decided to launchhis own investigation to determine whether or not the police overstepped their bounds or if it was a valid and justifiable action.

A Dutch tourist says that during a visit in early May, she was questioned by a New York City police officer after he saw her riding her bike in Lower Manhattan while donning a short skirt. According to her, he said her outfit was “dangerous” because she was distracting drivers.

“He said it’s very disturbing, and it‘s distracting the cars and it’s dangerous,” Rijcken told the New York Daily News. “I thought he was joking around but he got angry and asked me for ID.”

Rijcken, 31, was not given a ticket, but she was reprimanded. Unfortunately, she also didn‘t get the officer’s name. Because of that, the NYPD says it can’t really look in to her story.

“She’s sitting on a bike.  And the way she’s sitting on a bike, remember she’s he not just standing there in this outfit.  She’s riding a bike in this outfit.  That skirt’s blowing straight up.  As she drives down the street, she’s wearing nothing, effectively nothing on her bottom half.  Look at the way, it’s just dangling off the back of the seat.  That thing’s just blowing up with any motion,” Stu said as part of his investigation.

“We don’t know the undergarment situation here, which may have been minimal or none under here.”

“See, right now she’s got cheeks on seat right now.  And as soon as she starts in motion, the thing’s blowing up and everything’s out there.  The whole package is out there.  This is almost Weinergate part two.”

Because she’s from out of the country, Stu believes the bike must be rented.

“She’s sitting on a rented bike cheek to seat.  I mean, this whole thing is falling apart.  You’re talking about disease.  Who knows what you’re spreading around when you’re sitting there cheek to seat.  This whole thing’s blowing up.  The whole thing’s going down here!  The whole system’s getting turned upside down!  Cheek to seat on a rented bike?  Who does that?”

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Experts from across political lines came together today to rule Sarah Palin the greatest person to ever have existed in human history. After constant political harassment, 24,000 emails were released from her time as governor of Alaska.  These emails were mainly written long before her nomination for Vice President, and were intended to be private emails about her work as governor.

Yet, even after the media actually solicited everyday people to scour the emails for something to “investigate”, scientists were baffled when political enemies and opposition researched produced exactly zero interesting material proving her supposed Satan-like private persona.

“Not only does it prove that the negative descriptions of her time in Alaska were completely dishonest, it disprove a long held scientific consensus,” said Harvard astrophysicist Barry Ibuprofen.  “The scientific community has long believed that it was physically impossible for any human being to have written private emails in that quantity without including something objectionable.  I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if gravity reversed itself today.”

“Seriously, nothing?” Said MIT microbiologist Timothy Eleventeen. “No crass forwards? No jokes about fat kids? No plans to murder wolves or minorities from helicopters?  Impossible.  I can’t believe it.  But as a scientist, I must.”

Amazingly, not only did the opposition attempt to discredit Palin fail say experts, it may have actually improved her image.  emails showing Palin praising the experience of parenting a child with down syndrome, maintaining a completely consistent private and public persona, may cause a tear in the space time continuum, according to experts.

Not everyone was convinced. DNC chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz said while it’s clear that Palin is the greatest human being on the planet known as Earth–it is quote “not immediately clear whether someone on another planet, or in another galaxy all together could edge her out.”

Real experts were not interviewed for this article. All quotes are fictional. But seriously – these e-mails show she’s a really great person. Nice work media! Click here for more on this story