Something is wrong with MSNBC’s Chris Matthews….

Is it possible that Chris Matthews has been drunk while hosting his MSNBC show? After all, there are only so many explanations for his horrible and unprofessional habit of slurring nearly every word he says on his TV show! What other TV host could get away with such lazy speech on a national news netwok?

What were some of Matthews’s slurring language? He kept saying “Prez Obama” rather than “President Obama”, “Harbra” instead of “Hardball”, and “conserves” instead of “conservatives”.

“He’s jamming forty words in three seconds,” Stu said.

What could be the source of his slurred speech? Glenn and Pat (jokingly) suggested Matthews could be impaired while on air.

“I don’t think alcoholism is funny,” Glenn joked.

“Does he have a drinking problem?” Pat asked.

“I don’t know, but it does sound like it,” Glenn said.

“If it’s alcoholism, it’s got to be vodka Red Bull because he is speaking three times the normal human rate,” Stu added.

What other evidence do they have that something might be wrong with Matthews? How about statements like this:

“Is this going to be something like Jimmy Carter back in ’79? Are they going to be so bad about this malicious deal it’s going to be like malaise?”

“Like malaise”? That sentence doesn’t even make sense!

So besides slurred speech and nonsensical statements – Matthews also seems to be exhibiting signs of paranoia. He’s convinced that Bush is dictating tax policy.

“We’re stuck with Bush’s economic policies because they keep hostage taking to keep Bush in power. President Bush is still dictating tax policy in this country because of the Tea Party,” Matthews said.

“It really is James K. Polk that is pulling all the strings beyond the grave,” Glenn joked in response to the ridiculous statements.

So slurred speech, nonsensical statements, and paranoia – all signs that something must be wrong with Matthews. The only other possibility is that he is simply a horrible, horrible newsman and TV host.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1058924143 Sandra Bachmann

    There is nothing wrong with Chris. But where the heck is he? He has been gone from HardBall for days and I don’t like it. I am a big fan. He seems like a great guy. I watch the show every night.