What’s a Warrior Dash?

Mercury One is having a fundraiser for Restoring Love …but not just any kind of fundraiser. Mercury One asked (pressured) a handful of Mercury One employees to compete in Warrior Dash, a three mile race/mud run/obstacle course that will take place in Texas this spring. Somehow the Mercury One team convinced Stu to compete in this fundraiser from hell to help raise money for a good cause (which Stu points out, is the main goal here).

Glenn’s goal for Warrior Dash, however, is a little more devious. Glenn not only asked if he could bet against Stu, he went on to asked, “May I somehow fund an opponent of yours? Is there any way I can bet against you?”

Stu pointed out that the Mercury employees will be racing in teams. “There’s me, and then there’s a weak member. We’re doing a strong member-weak member thing.” Pat quickly pointed out that was incorrect, and that Stu was obviously the weak member. (Editor’s note: As Stu’s unfortunate teammate, I can confirm this as factual.)

So what exactly does Warrior Dash entail? Glenn gave listeners a breakdown of a few of the obstacles:

“The muddy mayhem which is crawl through the mud under barbed wire.  And then jump over a pit of fire.  Then trudge through waist‑deep wall and then climb over a wall draped with a cargo net.  Navigate over water on a rope bridge. At what point do you think you’re going to use a rope to climb over a vertical wall.  No way.  Climb over obstacles, and duck under barbed wire again.  Run through an abandoned ‑‑ run through old abandoned shacks and sheds.  And slide into a pit of mud.”

So what’s the catch, and how can you get involved? Well, the goal is to raise money for Restoring Love, which you can do by visiting MercuryOne.org …the fun part? There are five punishments for the losing team, which you can submit at punishthem@glennbeck.com.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Irina-Krasnyuk/745534442 Irina Krasnyuk

    No, some cases are not treatable.

  • http://www.artinphoenix.com/gallery/grimm snowleopard (cat folk gallery)

    I could think of a few punishments right off the bat:

    Go on a date with Nancy Pelosi
    Go to the Senate Building, tell them you are with Glenn Beck studios and ask to interview Reid.
    Try to hold a reasonable conversation with Al Sharption
    Obtain a hair cut like Don King
    Run for Congress under the party of “Bribes accepted party”

    Hopefully the fundraiser will be a great success; be sure to post the pictures of what they have to go through each step of the way, I imagine it will be hillarious.

  • General Kota

    This is what you should do to Stu.
    1 make him watch a Moore film as he wears a chicken suit.
    2 make him wear a dress again.
    3 make him set in a room for thirty minutes with Al Gore.
    4 make him watch the view.
    5 make him say one nice thing about Chris Matthews.
    Torture at it most terrifying !

  • Anonymous

    Heard the show this morning and I have a fine idea for Stu and the losers’ punishment.  Since pajama gram who makes wonderful jammies is one of your sponsors I think they should have to wear ladies jammies to Babes after the competition.

    Cheryl
    Gulfport, MS

  • http://www.artinphoenix.com/gallery/grimm snowleopard (cat folk gallery)

    Make him sit in a room with a Michael Moore marathon going on while talking with Nancy Pelosi, Reid and Biden, at the same time have headphones on that are playing a marathon series of Al Gores “I invented this and that” speeches and his ‘global warming farce’ series as well.

    Then for the topper, tell him he has to go into the New York subway lines and catch rats while covered in cheeze whiz.

  • Anonymous

    I thought Stu had asked for a spanking?  ….  or was that to be the reward if he wins?

  • Anonymous

    A word to the wise for any non glenn beck cult members out there…
    If this advertises itself, or turns into a charity event, read the small print.
    glenn beck has used past “charity” events to pay for his own money making restore rallies in the past.  glenn beck has never visited a foreign base because he is too busy visiting South America, South Africa and Israel.  American troops are not good enough (or don’t pay enough) for his to meet.

  • SoThere

    Just for you little man:

    For today, and every day you post here, I will post your lies on every comment you make on this site…. Your hate and ignorance is not winning any converts here. You’re the butt of jokes and ridicule.Please see a professional about your fixation on little children strtlk/mtclayboy.You’ve been caught in your lies and have no credibility here. You’re a Wikipedia sailor and a lying puke.

    1. As mtclayboy you claimed that you served on a BOOMER. As strtlk you claimed not to know what a Boomer or a SSBN was “I don’t care” were your exact words. You also stated that you didn’t know where Bangor, Wa. was which is where Boomers (submarines) are fitted for duty.Any real Submariner would know that. You didn’t!

    2. You then changed your story and claimed that you were on a BOOMER. You lied.

    3. As mtclayboy you claimed that you had damaged your ears while serving on a Submarine. As strtlk, you claimed that you damaged your ears while serving on a submarine.

    4. As mtclayboy you claimed that you joined the Navy and served for five years on a submarine but according to the timeline you gave that was proven to be a lie. You lied.

    5. As mtclayboy you said that you were a Fireman. As strtlk, you claimed you were a Fireman.

    6. As mtclayboy and as strtlk, you posted the same bigotry and hate against Glenn Beck almost word for word even using the same spelling and grammatical errors and focusing on the children. I’ve posted many of them here already.

    Are you catching on everyone? He’s a liar plain and simple and nothing he claims can be believed.

    Take your bigotry and hate and Phony Soldier ID and leave us honest people alone?

    Flag the idiot.

  • Anonymous

    General, you are a cruel, cruel man…. dang. #5 is one of the toughest ones! He’s worn the dress before, but watching the View???? No! I can’t even get through the view and it’s a ‘chick’ show!

  • General Kota

    Ouch at least let him have a gun if we do that.

  • Anonymous

    The punishment should be to promise Mercury One that he will follow the winning bidder’s bidding, within reason, maybe!
    Any votes?

  • Anonymous

    what cult do you belong to? The stink cult, for further insight into your post see So There

  • Anonymous

    This is harsh, but sounds fun for everyone else