Stu finds his happy place, tries to keep sanity among insane news

Get Glenn Live! On TheBlaze TV

Stu filled in for Glenn on TV last night and gave a solid monologue that featured him trying his best not to let the aggravating news of the day ruin his mood. It proved to be harder than it sounds, given the extremely frustrating news breaking this week about the increasing NSA scandal and immigration battle.

Tonight, I want to begin with the immigration bill. The bill has Republicans divided. It’s 1,076 pages, fully endorsed by Barack Obama. That should be enough to unite Republicans against it, right?

Normally, I would’ve read the bill, of course, before hammering it, just to be sure this wasn’t an actual attempt by Obama to cede some ground and compromise, but I value my time. And all you have to do is listen to the way supporters are talking about it to know that passing this bill is like buying a lifetime subscription to progressive porn.

Of course, Obama’s version of compromise over the years has been I’m totally willing to compromise as long as they are willing to accept every one of my ideas. We can work together. I’ll write the bill. You vote for it. I mean, Obama couldn’t even bring himself to approve a bill opposing the slaughter of babies born after botched abortions. Remember that Gosnell guy? I mean, Obama didn’t want to ban all of that because he was more concerned with the oh-so-slippery slope that leads to more babies remaining alive. And Lord knows we can’t be punishing people with babies. I mean, that’s not right.

You don’t have to see every aspect of this bill when you see what supporters are saying about it. Marco Rubio has had some good moments in the past, but now he’s part of this Gang of Eight, and that doesn’t exactly inspire confidence. Even the Heritage Foundation is calling him out. Here’s a rising star of the GOP pushing amnesty. Progressives must think they’ve died and gone to heaven.

What is Rubio thinking? Did the NSA get to him? Are there Rubio wiener pics out there somewhere they’re holding him hostage with? And by Rubio wiener pics, I don’t mean Rubio with Anthony Weiner, although I guess you never know, and who am I to judge? Look, I’m trying to follow Glenn’s lead here and build bridges with those whom I disagree, find areas we unite on and start from there. I’m really trying, but they’re just being so stupid – really, really stupid.

You want me to take you seriously on immigration reform, and you come at me with it’s not amnesty or anything like that. It’s just a pathway to citizenship, and that pathway to citizenship isn’t conditional on securing the border, and it doesn’t punish anyone who’s broken the law, at least not beyond a slap on the wrist. Really? What kind of bridge can I build with that?

The only bridge idiotic progressive ideas like that make me want to build is a bridge to a remote, uninhabited island off the coast of Belize. And when I get there, I will blow the bridge up so I never have to hear them again – ever, ever, ever, ever again.

You might notice here that the whole be nice and be like Mahatma Glenndhi thing is kind of going a little bad right now. It’s something I need to work on a little bit, but I’m going to keep trying. And this could help. I did catch a little MSNBC last night. One of the hosts, it was either Chris Maddow or Rachel Hayes – I couldn’t tell by looking at them – said something that actually sounded sane.

VIDEO
Chris Hayes: In the abstract, do you think it’s okay for the government to be able to access millions of Americans’ phone records and Internet activity as long as those tools are just for catching terrorists, and they’re never, ever abused? You would be tempted to say yes. That’s totally okay. But there’s a pretty major sticking point, and that is the as long as it’s not abused part, because history tells us that is not actually a thing, a non-abused massive governmental surveillance apparatus. That is not what Dr. Martin Luther King tells us.

I love that. That is not actually a thing. It’s quite an impressive admission by a Progressive, since Progressives usually believe government should be in control of as much as possible. Unless I forgot that I took heroin for the first time last night or something, this was actually a good, honest argument made by Hayes on MSNBC. He made good points, points you’d agree with.

Moments like that make me feel like building Gandhi bridges again, like we can get somewhere. Maybe there is some hope, but then I went on Twitter, and it’s back to work on my bridge to Belize. “One of the most disturbing details hinted at but not quite confirmed is the idea that the NSA is ‘storing’ everything it collects.” That’s a great point, but not quite confirmed?

Chris, I mean, come on. Don’t tell anyone. This is the NSA’s 1.5 million square foot data collection superstructure in Utah. Yeah, I’m pretty sure the “data collection” in the title refers to data collection. Now, I’m not going to go down this road. I’m not going to do it. I’m not going down negative town. A guy on MSNBC actually did a really good monologue about the size of government, and I’m complaining. It’s ridiculous. I need to find my happy place. I’ve just got to be glad.

Honestly, when someone this blinded by Obama love is starting to turn, it’s a miracle Obama’s approval rating isn’t even lower. It’s finally starting to drop. Right now, his approval rating stands at 47%, but his approval rating should be more like 4.7%. He’s a borderline superhero for enduring what he’s endured – Benghazi, the AP scandal, the Fox News scandal, the drone stuff, the IRS targeting conservatives scandal, the NSA thing.

And his best excuse is usually like, Yeah, it wasn’t me. I just found out about it, you know, in the news. I was watching the news, and I saw it, just like you. Not to mention the new normal is gas permastuck at three to four bucks a gallon, and unemployment is north of 7%. Who is still supporting this guy? He never had Conservatives. He never had Libertarians. What about Progressives? They were whining about Bush surveillance programs, and Obama has just grown them.

By the way, welcome to our gigantic NSA audience listening to the show and reading the e-mails we send during the commercial breaks. Liberals should be mortified as well. I mean, he’s arming radical extremists in Syria. Gay activists, he’s done nothing for you except say he likes you. Where’s the proposal to legalize gay marriage if you’re so concerned, Mr. President?

Environmental activists, he’s done nothing for you either. Where’s the cap and trade he was promising you all the time in the campaign? Who’s left? Can we build bridges with the left on some things, yes. Here’s Chris Hayes again, talking with of all people Julian Bond.

VIDEO
Chris Hayes: There’s been some polling that suggests that Democrats have had quite a change of heart on this issue, and I think part of that is just the natural way that trust works in a political system. People are inclined to trust Barack Obama if they’re Democrats for all sorts of reasons. They feel their world views align.

What do you have to say to folks that find themselves conflicted by the news this week but have a tendency to trust someone like Barack Obama, who they feel is a good person with a good vision, and they voted for, and they support?

Julian Bond: I’m conflicted too. I have a lot of trust. I want to trust, but I’ve seen this happen before. I’ve seen us go down this road before, and I’m afraid we may well go down this road right now. I don’t see anybody stopping it or telling me that we’re not doing it. Just telling me to trust people is not enough for me.

Yes, even if it’s your guy, when government is too big, you’re going to end up in an ugly place. I’m not sure why the left can’t apply that logic to healthcare, taxes, the IRS, global emission schemes, and everything else, but I’ll take it. That’s someone on MSNBC who was at least honestly considering the facts and talking about the truth as he sees it. And then you have the other side, this idiot.

VIDEO
Chris Matthews: His whole life has been crystal clear and clean as a whistle and transparent. We know his whole life through all the great, excellent education he’s had, the good work, pro bono work he’s done throughout his life. He’s never been a money grubber. He’s never done anything wrong in his life legally, ethically, whatever. His family is picture-perfect, the way he’s raised those daughters. Everything is clean as a whistle, and yet they just refer to him as evil. They just refer to him as – I just gotta believe it’s ethnic with these people. They’ve just got a problem with this guy being president.

If only we racists had some other basis to oppose this president on, like 800 scandals happening simultaneously. You’re so onto us, Chris. There are no bridges to be built there. But tonight we have the latest on all the scandals Chris Matthews doesn’t know anything about, including the NSA, where the smear campaign on Edward Snowden is already going on, reporting, you know, there’s reports attacking his credibility, attempting to poke holes in his story.

He spoke from hiding this week and said he’s neither a traitor nor a hero but an American. After the girlfriend he abandoned was identified by the media – kind of appears he’s not as smart as we all thought he was. But the administration is standing by PRISM, arguing that it’s not a snooping program but a data management tool. Belize sounds so, so, so, so nice right about now.

  • Anonymous

    Barak is the only leader over Anglo-Saxons ever predicted in the Hebrew-inspired Scriptures! Yes, he is the predicted “forbidden foreigner”(only non-Anglo-Saxon in history, since the garden of Eden at least) of Deuteronomy 17:15 to rule over Anglo-Saxon’s of their own volition, or at least our “WOMEN ALONE’S” own volition! As we’re soon going to learn folks(October 5th?), the only way “EVIL” can be stopped to  KILL IT 100%! Or so says Revelation, chapter 11, anyhow. WATCH!