NYC Mayor involved in bizarre groundhog cover-up

The cover up is always worse than the crime. When Mayor Bill de Blasio posed for a standard photo-op on Groundhog Day, he embarrassingly dropped the animal. Everything seemed fine, but it wasn’t because the poor groundhog died a week later from injuries sustained after the fall. In one of the dumbest decisions of all time, the zoo (which gets half their funding from the city) decided to cover up the death. Pathetic.

Watch the original incident unfold below:

“This just in from New York. Apparently, Bill de Blasio, on February 2nd, dropped the Staten Island Zoo groundhog. It wasn’t Chuck, the groundhog. It was actually Charlotte, a female impostor,” Glenn explained.

“Scandal number one. Why is the Staten Island zoo giving you a bogus groundhog, naming it Chuck instead of Charlotte? Well, apparently, Chuck bit the mayor at one point, and so they wanted to not use Chuck. Because once you have a taste of the mayor’s blood, apparently you just…anyway, so they went for Charlotte, the girlfriend of Chuck, and presented him as Chuck.”

“Well, de Blasio is then wearing these giant gloves. Nobody else is wearing these gloves, but de Blasio is. Because he’s wearing the gloves and the woodchuck is kind of upset, he drops Charlotte.”

“Here’s where it goes bad. A couple of days later Charlotte was found inside of her enclosure, not a cage, her enclosure, at the Staten Island zoo. She had died from internal injuries. The zoo covered it up, and had said the groundhog had died of natural causes. The assemblyman said, ‘I was told she had died of old age and went to the big farm in the sky.'”

According to The New York Post, The Staten Island Zoo gets $3.5 million in funding from the city, and the zoo told the staff to keep quiet about the cause of death for poor Charlotte.

“What happened was they were covering up because they wanted the money from the city. They covered up that she had died from internal injuries by being dropped by the mayor,” he continued.

Shocking.

If there is one silver lining from this tragedy, it could be that Bill O’Reilly can use it as inspiration for a future installment of his Killing [INSERT FAMOUS HISTORICAL FIGURE] series of books.

Glenn’s art department mocked up a new book cover to mark the conspiracy surrounding the death of the groundhog. Photo via TheBlaze TV

Watch Glenn discuss the news in the hilarious segment below: