Let’s put this as kindly as possible. Pat Gray, co-host of The Glenn Beck Program, should stick to rock music, particularly from the late ’70s, ’80s and possible the early ’90s. How do we know? Inspired by country music guest Aaron Watson, Pat wrote his own little country ditty, and it goes a little somethin’ like this:

Well, I got in my truck
Because my wife said I suck
So I drove to the bar
Because I got a flat tire
So I got real drunk
Forgot my dog in the trunk
And he died

“How was the dog in the trunk of a truck?” Glenn asked.


“I didn’t say it was a perfect country song,” Pat replied.

Listen to this segment from The Glenn Beck Program:

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This is a rush transcript and may contain errors.

GLENN: You don’t like country music.

PAT: I don’t — well, I wrote you a song.

GLENN: Okay.

PAT: To show why I —

GLENN: You wrote me a song.

PAT: I wrote you a song.

GLENN: Why didn’t you play it when he was here?

PAT: I didn’t want to show I am up.

JEFFY: Oh, wait.

GLENN: He’s here.
[Laughter]
Come on.

AARON: Pat, I have to hear the song. I mean, I get it. They told me that you’re actually in the Backstreet Boys fan club.

PAT: I’m more like, you know, the led Zeppelin Boston —

AARON: Oh, those are fine country bands. Those are great country bands.

PAT: I had a hard time resisting asking you if you knew any led Zeppelin.

AARON: Going to make you sweat, going to make you —

GLENN: He does. He does.
AARON: I got it.

GLENN: Now, you wrote this.

PAT: I wrote this country song from scratch.

AARON: Just now?
PAT: Yeah, just now.

GLENN: It’s good so far.

PAT: Well, I got in my truck.
[Laughter]
Because my wife said I suck. So I drove to the bar.

GLENN: Going to be a train here some place.

PAT: Because I got a flat tire.

STU: Bar and tire. Not really —

PAT: So I got real drunk.

GLENN: Got it.

PAT: Forgot my dog in the trunk.

STU: Why was it in there in the first place?

GLENN: Why was the dog —

PAT: And he died.
[Laughter]
Thank you very much. Thank you very much.
[Applause]
Thank you. Thank you.

GLENN: Now, that just came to you?

PAT: Just came to you. Little country song.

STU: Why was the dog in a trunk?

GLENN: Of a truck.

PAT: Because it’s always beer. It’s always a bar. It’s always divorce. It’s always —

GLENN: Well, a train.

PAT: And I forgot the train. But the dog —

GLENN: But how was the dog in the trunk of a truck?

PAT: I didn’t say it was a perfect country song.