What do Michael Phelps and Jeffy Fisher have in common? No, it’s not the size of their speedos. They both pee in the pool. Based on a new report, they’re not alone.

“Scientists have now confirmed the worst fears about pee and people. And I believe that it is worse than your worst fears, at least mine. One in five Americans say they pee in the pool. Even Michael Phelps says everyone does it,” Glenn shared Monday on radio.


In a project that tested 31 pools and hot tubs, researchers found evidence of urine in every single instance. On average, there were eight gallons of urine in a 110-gallon pool and 18.5 gallons of urine in a 220,000-gallon pool.

Enjoy the complimentary clip above or read the transcript below for details.

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This is a rush transcript and may contain errors.

GLENN: Scientists have now confirmed the worst fears about pee and people. And I believe that it is worse than your worst fears. At least mine. One in five Americans say they pee in the pool. Even Michael Phelps says everyone does it.

STU: Eighty percent said they didn’t.

GLENN: I don’t. I don’t.

JEFFY: Yeah, you do.

GLENN: No, I don’t.

JEFFY: Okay. Okay.

GLENN: Jeffy, you pee in the pool?

GLENN: Oh, my gosh. He pees in the pool.

PAT: Wow.

STU: We have bathrooms now, actually, Jeffy.

GLENN: Have you peed in the pool before?

STU: In my life? Probably as a kid.

JEFFY: Yeah.

GLENN: I remember that they said about the red rain that went around you. And that freaked me out. I’ve never peed in the pool because I’ve always thought about that red rain. I believed that.

JEFFY: Everybody used to say that, and I would say, “No, it didn’t.” That’s like a dare.

PAT: Absolutely not.

GLENN: Absolutely not. Okay.

PAT: No.

GLENN: Scientists have figured out a way to quantify how much urine is in our pool.

I warn you, you are not going to like this.

Research team tested 31 pools and hot tubs and found evidence in urine in every single one of them. On average, there were 8 gallons of urine in 110-gallon — in a 110,000-gallon pool and 18.5 gallons of urine in a 220,000-gallon pool.

PAT: Now —

GLENN: The hot tubs — hold on. They found —

PAT: Icky, that’s just icky.

GLENN: They found the hot tubs, in hotels, found to have three times the urine level of the worst swimming pool.

STU: That makes sense, right? Because it’s so much less water, right? Percentage-wise, you’re going to have a bad —

PAT: Relaxed.

GLENN: And you also are drinking and relaxing — and other things. And I don’t want to know what happens in hotel hot tubs.

STU: Likely it’s at a very high temperature, so hopefully it’s maybe, I don’t know, killing all the bacteria.

GLENN: Or growing it. I’m not sure. I’m not sure.

STU: That too, yeah.
(laughter)

GLENN: But I can’t imagine now putting my head — especially in a hot tub. I’ve never done a hot tub at a hotel.

Have you guys ever done a hotel hot tub?

STU: Oh, yeah. Tons of times.

JEFFY: Yes.

STU: I’m a fan. I’m a big hot tub fan.

PAT: I don’t like hot tubs.

GLENN: I can’t believe you because you won’t drink out of a regular glass. You have to have a plastic cup.

PAT: But it’s not really a germ thing, right?

STU: That’s, A, not true. And, B, it’s not about germs.

PAT: It’s some other skeeve thing for him.

GLENN: What is the skeeve thing there? No, go ahead. Come on. Come on.

STU: I don’t mind explaining it, but it’s a real — we’re getting off the exit here of the show. You want to get off the exit of the show to explain my nonsense.

GLENN: Give it to me in three lines. What is the skeeve?

STU: I don’t know how — basically, I don’t like — I don’t like —

GLENN: Come on.

STU: I don’t like, like, glasses, for example. If you have a glass and it goes through and it gets washed, and sometimes there’s food that gets caked on the inside or little pieces of food. I don’t like drinking liquids and getting solids. How about that?

PAT: But you can see it.

STU: Sometimes you can.

GLENN: What kind of crappy restaurants are you at, where there’s are food caked on the inside of the glass.

STU: I mean, it happens sometimes.

GLENN: It does. It happens a lot less than people peeing in pools.

JEFFY: That’s not true.

STU: First of all, I don’t drink pool water. Maybe you do.

GLENN: I don’t drink it either, but it gets into your mouth. It gets into your face. I don’t also go up to — I don’t go up to a big —

PAT: I don’t like that. I don’t like that.

GLENN: For instance, I’m not a cowboy. So I’m not going to go up to the spring, the little — the big, huge — I don’t even know what you call it, a big, huge tub where my cows or my horses are drinking and just wash my face in it because it’s got cow slobber in it. Okay? That’s not people pee.

STU: I guess — because I think we can all recognize that there’s not an actual effect to either of these things. Like a piece of food in my cup doesn’t do anything. Having pee in a pool, millions of people are swimming every day and not dying from the pool.

GLENN: No.

JEFFY: It’s the thought of —

STU: It’s the thought of it. It’s a mental thing that doesn’t actually make a difference.

PAT: Plus, how do we know that’s not what’s killing all of us? Maybe it is.

GLENN: Maybe it is. I’m with you, Pat.

STU: That’s true. That’s true.

PAT: We don’t know. It may well be.

GLENN: Because this is how I heard this story: I read this story over the weekend, and this is how I heard this story. Eighty percent of the water in your pool is pee.
(laughter)

STU: And that’s why, by the way, they didn’t use percent.

PAT: Percent is a little bit lower.

STU: Yeah, they used 18 gallons to make it sound like, holy crap, I’ve been bathing in 18 gallons of urine.

JEFFY: Right.

PAT: And that’s an Olympic-sized pool.

GLENN: No, no, no.

STU: Right — no, 220,000 gallons. An Olympic-sized is 660,000 gallons. Yes, we’ve done some science on this.

PAT: Oh, wow. All right.

STU: So here is the percentage of urine in the pool that they’re talking about.

GLENN: Eighty percent.

STU: This is a scare article, remember? 0.008.

PAT: Tens, hundreds. 8,000ths of a percent.

STU: Yeah, 8,000ths of a percent.

PAT: Still, I don’t like it.

GLENN: Still, 18 gallons.

STU: And, by the way, let me add on this one little fact here: Urine is 95 percent water.

JEFFY: Thank you.

STU: Okay. So there’s something —

GLENN: It’s that 5 percent that I don’t like.

PAT: It is. I’m with you.

GLENN: It’s that 5 percent that makes me never want to be in some place like Somalia having to drink my or somebody else’s urine.

STU: Right. And I get it. It’s again, I think more in your head. And the reason why the stupid glass thing bothers me and this doesn’t is because it’s detectable. Right? It’s not detectable that there’s .000 —

PAT: That makes it even worse. You don’t know how much urine is getting into your eyes.

STU: Yes, you do.

JEFFY: Yes, you do.

STU: .008 —

GLENN: Maybe you just swam right then into like a whole concentration of pee. You wouldn’t know.

STU: You’re right. You wouldn’t know it. That’s the point.

GLENN: That warm section of the pool will never be the same for me.

STU: But the you wouldn’t know it is the positive for me. I wouldn’t want to know it. Yes, we all know that this — it’s the whole hot dogs. Right? Where the hot dogs have a certain percentage of like weird feet or whatever the hell are in there.

GLENN: What?

STU: Everyone knows that there’s bugs and there’s rats and everything else in these things. There’s a certain small percentage. But it doesn’t do anything.

GLENN: That’s why I have Hebrew National. Rabbi has got to make sure there’s no feet in those things.

PAT: Right. No beak.

JEFFY: I’ll bet you there —

GLENN: Yeah.

PAT: No snout.

GLENN: I want a rabbi with my sausage. That’s what I want.

STU: We can talk about all the political things today. But this is the one that makes the difference. The pee story.

GLENN: No, this is the one I’ll be living all spring and summer. Can I ask a serious question? I have a saline pool, a saltwater pool. Do I have —

JEFFY: 95 percent urine.

PAT: No.

GLENN: So they don’t put chlorine in it?

PAT: No. And that’s probably what they would say, that the chlorine helps kill any of the —

GLENN: Does the salt help kill the —

PAT: I don’t think so. Maybe a pool person will know.

JEFFY: No.

STU: I’m going to take the chemicals out. And then all the bacteria is just growing, just got a giant —

GLENN: No, there’s no bacteria that grows in it. I think it’s just because the salt kills — like the Dead Sea, right? Nothing can grow in that.

GLENN: Nothing can grow in that. All I know is that Morton’s girl is going to be at that diving board all summer long, just pouring salt.

All right. When we come back, I want to talk to you about the — the president came out and tweeted that they’re trumping — or, they’re wiretapping my phone at Trump Tower.

And what to think of this. Mark Levin came out and built a compelling case. I think we’re talking about the wrong thing myself. But we’ll get into that here in just a second. First, let me tell you about our sponsor this half-hour. Sponsor this half-hour is LifeLock.

Did know that your phones’ charging cord can transmit data?

STU: Well, the cord itself is the same cord. But you’re saying when it’s plugged into the power source?

GLENN: Scammers know this. They’re hoping that you’ll plug into a compromised public charging port, airports, conference centers, or parks. It’s known as juice hacking.

PAT: Wow.

GLENN: It allows thieves to access personal data when you recharge your device in a public area.

STU: Oh, I’ve used those airport ones a bunch of times. That’s terrifying.

PAT: None.