Big News for Animal Masseuses, Auctioneers and Fishing Guides

March 15, 2017

WRITER

The market in Washington state is flooded with jobs requiring a license --- animal masseuse, auctioneer, boxing announcer, fishing guide, landscape architect, manicurist and horse floater, to name a few. They just can't keep up with the demand.

"So here's the thing, Washington is deciding now in the Washington House of Representatives . . . that they have too many people applying for a license. They don't need to have everybody applying for a license. So those occupations are targeted for de-licensing," Glenn said Wednesday on radio.

Which, of course, begs the question, Why was a license needed in the first place?"

"Now, what a ridiculous premise and world we live in, that an animal masseuse, up until this thing supposedly passes, needed to have a license," co-host Stu Burguiere said insightfully.

Listen to this segment from The Glenn Beck Program:

GLENN: Excuse me. Excuse me. I have some big news. I have some big news if you're an animal masseuse.

(chuckling)

Now, I don't know how many animal masseuses there are in our listening audience

STU: Well, we're the number three biggest talk radio show, but we're the number two among animal masseuses.

GLENN: Are we?

STU: Yes.

GLENN: I would like to talk to an animal masseuse. A licensed animal masseuse.

STU: Only licensed animal masseuses can be members of the National Association of Animal Masseuses.

GLENN: If you are an animal masseuse, an auctioneer, a boxing announcer, a fishing guide, a landscape architect, manicurist, or horse floater --

STU: That sounds dirty. I'll be honest, that sounds dirty.

GLENN: What?

STU: I don't know what that is. Jeffy probably does.

GLENN: It's like a fluffer for horse porn?

STU: That's kind of what it sounds like, right?

JEFFY: Depending on what sites you go to?

GLENN: What is a horse floater?

STU: We actually did discover this on Pat and Stu the other day. It appears to be something equivalent to a horse dentist.

PAT: Kind of. Yeah.

JEFFY: They call it a horse floater because the float is the file they file the horses teeth down with.

PAT: And why that's called a file, no one knows.

JEFFY: We don't know.

GLENN: So here's the thing: Washington is deciding now -- in the Washington House of Representatives, so this is Washington state, that they have too many people applying for license. They don't need to have everybody apply for a license. So those --

JEFFY: That doesn't sound like government.

GLENN: -- occupations are targeted for de-licensing.

STU: Now, what a ridiculous premise and world we live in, that an animal masseuse -- up until this thing supposedly passes, needed to have a license.

GLENN: Or a landscape architect.

STU: Yeah, you judge them by their work.

GLENN: Now, hang on just a second. Maybe a landscape architect because maybe on huge projects, they could cause mudslides or things like that, if they don't know what they're doing with the land.

PAT: They could also mess up your property if they don't what an they're doing.

GLENN: But that's your property.

PAT: Yeah.

GLENN: Depending on the scale of things. But an animal masseuse. Come on. I need a license to be an animal masseuse.

GLENN: What is that? Is that in case the animals are walking down. I don't know. That looks like a shady massage parlor.

JEFFY: Well, some states won't even let you do it if you have -- if you've gone to school for horse massage. Then they make you go back to become a veterinarian so that you actually have a license to be able to massage the horses. Just saying.

STU: Jeffy knows too much about this.

GLENN: My grandpa was a jack-of-all-trades. He did a little bit of everything.

STU: Horse floating?

GLENN: He probably did. He was a vet, but he wasn't a vet. He was an auctioneer, but he wasn't -- I remember him doing the big cattle auctions. And he could do the whole -- he could do all that. He didn't have a license for that. He was a sheriff. He worked -- he was a machinist. He worked for Boeing.

STU: You do need a license to be a sheriff.

GLENN: Yes. No, but I'm saying --

JEFFY: You don't. A sheriff, that's an elected office.

PAT: Think of all the people --

GLENN: You don't go to school for it.

STU: You need a badge.

GLENN: You need a badge.

STU: That's the thing.

GLENN: But why would you need a license to be an animal masseuse? Are you good at it or not?

STU: Right. And, first of all, who is going to answer? The horse? Because that's the one that would need to know. I don't know how they would know if you're good.

JEFFY: Well, the owner would.

STU: How would the owner --

JEFFY: If you have an animal, you know the animal --

GLENN: I'll tell you, I'll sit in the stall smoking cigarettes and watching Amazon, and then someone will knock on the door, you almost done?

Yep, almost done in here.

STU: And the horse is like, I know you're not going to massage.

GLENN: He's loving it. He's loving it.

STU: Another crazy one on there that we haven't mentioned is boxing announcer.

GLENN: Yeah, why?

STU: So you can announce football or baseball without a license, but for boxing you've got to have a license. That's really important. Well, you know if it's the right hand or the left hand. You got to tell. Take the test and let us know. I mean, that is ridiculous.

GLENN: See, in my -- in my -- when I first got into it -- and Pat too, and I bet you too, Jeffy.

JEFFY: Yeah. Yes.

GLENN: We used to have what was called our third phone license. Yeah, your third class license.

JEFFY: To get in.

GLENN: And it was a radio telephone license. That's why it was called your third phone. First phone meant you could fix the transmitter. But you had to have certain basic understanding of how the transmitter worked to be able to on the radio.

STU: Right. Which is a bad practice which ended.

GLENN: Yes.

PAT: You had to know if the station was in compliance with its effective radiated power at all times.

GLENN: Correct. Correct.

PAT: Now, I forget that formula a good time ago. But they eliminated that too a long time ago.

JEFFY: Yeah.

PAT: Yeah.

GLENN: So now you don't need to have a license. But I will tell you that I talked to Ted Koppel, and he said maybe we should have a license for journalists. Maybe you shouldn't just be able to post things online, you shouldn't just be able to start a blog without a license --

STU: That's the progressive mindset, though, right?

JEFFY: Right. That sure is.

GLENN: It is.

STU: The mindset is, it's only legitimate if there's a license. The government gives it its legitimacy. And that's where the complete split it.

GLENN: And here's the problem: I was talking to a friend of mine. He said, you know, Glenn, you know, I know -- you know, I know if you're into liberty and freedom, but there are some things that we all have to agree on. For instance,, you know, schooling. Schooling, I mean, you know, you say that you want freedom of choice to be able to go into whatever school you want. But, Glenn, most people are not smart enough to figure out what school their kids need.

And I said, wow, is --

PAT: Such a progressive frame of mind.

GLENN: Is that an awful frame of mind.

JEFFY: No kidding.

PAT: We're the parent.

GLENN: First of all, most people -- most people absolutely are smart enough. There's no need for them to even think about it because my job is to just put you up at the bus stop. So I stopped thinking about it. Do they know what's right for their kid? Yeah, when their responsibility is given back to them and you're responsible for raising that kid. Yeah, they are smart enough to figure that out. And I said to that person, so what happens if I was in charge and I thought you were putting your kid in the wrong school? Should I be able to say that you're not smart? Well, no. Because I'm smart enough to figure that out.

Oh.

STU: Hmm. And that's the thing. Conservatism. That thing. And progressivism breaks down when you say -- when you think you can make that choice. Because the point is to allow the person who actually is stupid to make the stupid choice. That's okay. It's their freaking life. And if that's what they want to do with their life, they want to make continual stupid choices, as I point at Jeffy, that is okay. You have to be able to let go and let that happen sometimes.

Critical theory destroys truth and justice

Editor's note: This article was originally published on TheBlaze.com.

Critical theory once stood out as the absurd progressive notion that it is. Now, its maxims are becoming an integral part of ordinary political discourse. The more you repeat a lie, the more you will believe it, and this is the very dangerous place in which we find ourselves today.

Take this critical theory maxim as an example: If we desire justice, we must sometimes champion what may appear superficially as injustice. It's a necessary evil, if you will, the necessity of “controlled injustice.”

By using truth through fabrication and controlled injustice for justice, we’ll save the republic. We’ll be acting in a noble way.

This definition of justice is defined by the “oppressed,” not the “oppressor.” It is the greatest happiness for the greatest number. To achieve this justice, however, we need to endorse acts on occasion that, while seemingly unjust, serve a higher purpose. It will ensure the stability and the unity of our republic, and this may manifest in ways that seem contradictory to our values. But these are the necessary shadows to cast light on “true justice.”

And isn’t that what we are all after, anyway?

Here’s another critical theory maxim: Sometimes we find the truth through fabrication. Our pursuit of truth sometimes requires a strategic use of falsehoods. The truth is a construct that has been shaped and tailored to promote the well-being of the collective.

We sometimes need to accept and propagate lies designed by "the system” — not the old system, but the system that we’re now using to replace the old to get more justice through injustice and more truth through fabrication.

We’re engaging in a higher form of honesty. When we fabricate, it’s for the right reason. We are reaching up to the heavens fighting for a higher sort of honesty. To fortify the truth, we occasionally must weave a tapestry of lies. Each thread, essential for the greater picture, will ultimately define our understanding and ensure our unity under this infallible wisdom.

The election is coming up. Does this maxim sound familiar? Many think it is imperative that we secure our republic through election control to maintain our republic. Sometimes, we might need to take actions that by traditional standards might be questionable.

The act of securing elections requires cheating. It's not mere deception. It is a noble act of safeguarding our way of life. We're on the verge of losing this democracy, and without deception, we will lose it.

To ensure it doesn't fall into the hands of those we know will destroy it, we may have to make a few fabrications. We're fabricating stories to be able to control or secure the republic through our elections. By using truth through fabrication and controlled injustice for justice, we'll save the republic. Therefore, we'll be acting in a noble way. Stealing an election from those who wish to harm our society is truly an act of valor and an essential measure to protect our values and ensure the continuation of our just society.

If we desire justice, we must sometimes champion what may appear superficially as injustice.

I know it's a paradox of honor through dishonor. But in this context, by embracing the dishonor, we achieve the highest form of honor, ensuring the stability and the continuation of our great republic.

Let this be heard, far and wide, as a great call to patriotic action. As we advance, let each of us, citizens of this great and honorable republic, consider these principles. Not as abstract or paradoxical but as practical guides to daily life. Embrace the necessity of controlled injustice, the utility of lies, the duty to secure our electoral process, and the honor and apparent dishonor. These are not merely strategies for survival. They are prerequisites for our prosperity.

We all have to remember that justice is what our leaders define, that truth is what our party tells us. Our republic stands strong on the values of injustice for justice, honor through dishonor, and the fabrication of truths. To deviate from this path is to jeopardize the very fabric of our society. Strength through unity; unity through strength.

We've heard this nonsense for so long. But now, this nonsense is becoming an instituted reality, and we are entering perilous times. Don't be fooled by the narratives you will hear during the march to November. Never let someone convince you that the ends justify the means, that a little bit of injustice is needed to achieve a broader, collective vision of justice, that truth sometimes requires fabricated lies and narratives. If we do, justice will cease to be justice, truth will cease to be truth, and our republic will be lost.

Top 5 MOST EVIL taxes the government extorts from you

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"In this world nothing is certain but death and taxes." -Ben Franklin

The injustice of taxation has been a core issue for Americans since the very beginning of our country, and it's a problem we have yet to resolve. This belief was recently reignited in many Americans earlier this month on tax day when the numbers were crunched and it was discovered that the government was somehow owed even more hard-earned money. As Glenn recently discussed on his show, it's getting to be impossible for most Americans to afford to live comfortably, inflation is rising, and our politicians keep getting richer.

The taxpayer's burden is heavier than ever.

The government is not above some real low blows either. While taxes are a necessary evil, some taxes stretch the definition of "necessary" and emphasize the "evil." Here are the top five most despicable taxes that are designed to line the IRS coffers at your expense:

Income Tax

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"It would be a hard government that should tax its people one-tenth part of their income." -Ben Franklin

On February 24th, 2024 we hit a very unfortunate milestone, the 101st anniversary of the 16th Amendment, which authorized federal income tax. Where does the government get the right to steal directly out of your paycheck?

Death Taxes

Dan Mullan / Staff | Getty Images

"Now my advice for those who die, Declare the pennies on your eyes" -George Harrison

Not even in death can you escape the cold pursuit of the tax collector. It's not good enough that you have to pay taxes on everything you buy and every penny you make your entire life. Now the feds want a nice slice, based on the entire value of your estate, that can be as much as 40 percent. Then the state government gets to stick their slimy fingers all over whatever remains before your family is left with the crumbs. It's practically grave-robbery.

Payroll

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"The power to tax is the power to destroy." -John Marshall

What's that? The nice chunk of your paycheck the government nabs before you can even get it to the bank wasn't enough? What if the government taxed your employer just for paying you? In essence, you make less than what your agreed pay rate is and it costs your employer more! Absolutely abominable.

Social Security

VALERIE MACON / Contributor | Getty Images

"We don't have a trillion-dollar debt because we haven't taxed enough; we have a trillion-dollar debt because we spend too much." -Ronald Reagan

Everyone knows the collapse of Social Security is imminent. It has limped along for years, only sustained by a torrent of tax dollars and the desperate actions of politicians. For decades, people have unwillingly forked over money into the system they will never see again.

FICA

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"What at first was plunder assumed the softer name of revenue." -Thomas Paine

FICA is the payroll equivalent of Social Security. Your employer has to match however much you pay. It means it costs your employer even more to pay you—again, you'll NEVER see that money. At this point, are you even working for yourself, or are you just here to generate money for the government to frivolously throw away?

5 DISTURBING ways World War III will be different from previous wars

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Has World War III begun?

Over the weekend, Iran launched an unprecedented attack against Israel involving over 300 missiles and drones. This marked the first direct attack on Israel originating from Iranian territory. Fortunately, according to an Israel Defense Forces spokesperson Rear Admiral Daniel Hagari, 99 percent of missiles and drones were successfully neutralized by Israeli defense systems. Iran claimed that the operation against Israel had concluded and that no further offensive was planned, although the possibility of another attack is still present.

This has left many people, including Glenn, wondering the same thing: did we just witness the start of World War III?

Glenn recently had a World War II Air Force Veteran as a guest on his TV special, who told stories of the horrors he and his brothers-in-arms faced in the skies over war-torn Europe. This was a timely reminder of the terrors of war and a warning that our future, if it leads to another world war, is a dark one.

But, if Glenn's coverage of the Iranian attack revealed one thing, it's that World War III will look nothing like the world wars of the twentieth century. Long gone are the days of John "Lucky" Luckadoo and his "Bloody Hundredth" bravely flying their B-17s into battle. Over the weekend, we saw hundreds of autonomous drones and missiles clashing with extreme speed and precision over several different fronts (including space) simultaneously. This ain't your grandfather's war.

From EMP strikes to cyber attacks, here are FIVE ways the face of war has changed:

EMP attacks

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The entire modern world, on every level, is completely dependent on electricity. From your home refrigerator to international trade, the world would come to a grinding halt without power. And as Glenn has pointed out, it wouldn't even be that hard to pull off. All it would take is 3 strategically placed, high-altitude nuclear detonations and the entire continental U.S. would be without power for months if not years. This would cause mass panic across the country, which would be devastating enough on its own, but the chaos could be a perfect opportunity for a U.S. land invasion.

Nuclear strikes

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Nuclear war is nothing new. Many of us grew up during the Cold War, built fallout shelters, and learned to duck and cover. But times have changed. The Berlin Wall fell and so did the preparedness of the average American to weather a nuclear attack. As technology has advanced, more of our adversaries than ever have U.S. cities within their crosshairs, and as Glenn has pointed out, these adversaries are not exactly shy about that fact. Unfortunately, the possibility of an atomic apocalypse is as real as ever.

Immigration warfare

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The strategy of strangling an opposing nation's economy to gain the upper hand is a wartime tactic as old as time. That's why the Border Crisis is so alarming. What better way to damage an opponent's economy than by overburdening it with millions of undocumented immigrants? As Glenn has covered, these immigrants are not making the trek unaided. There is a wide selection of organizations that facilitate this growing disaster. These organizations are receiving backing from around the globe, such as the WEF, the UN, and U.S. Democrats! Americans are already feeling the effects of the border crisis. Imagine how this tactic could be exploited in war.

Cyber shutdowns

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Cyber attacks will be a major tactic in future wars. We've already experienced relatively minor cyber strikes from Russia, China, and North Korea, and it is a very real possibility that one of our adversaries inflicts a larger attack with devastating consequences on the United States. In fact, the WEF has already predicted a "catastrophic" cyber attack is imminent, and Glenn suggests that it is time to start preparing ourselves. A cyber attack could be every bit as devastating as an EMP, and in a world run by computers, nothing is safe.

Biological assault

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Don't trust the "experts." That was the takeaway many of us had from the pandemic, but something less talked about is the revelation that China has manufactured viruses that are capable of spreading across the globe. We now know that the lab leak hypothesis is true and that the Wuhan lab manufactured the virus that infected the entire world. That was only ONE virus from ONE lab. Imagine what else the enemies of America might be cooking up.

The government is WAGING WAR against these 3 basic needs

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The government has launched a full-on assault against our basic needs, and people are starting to take notice.

As long-time followers of Glenn are probably aware, our right to food, water, and power is under siege. The government no longer cares about our general welfare. Instead, our money lines the pockets of our politicians, funds overseas wars, or goes towards some woke-ESG-climate-Great Reset bullcrap. And when they do care, it's not in a way that benefits the American people.

From cracking down on meat production to blocking affordable power, this is how the government is attacking your basic needs:

Food

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Glenn had Rep. Thomas Massie on his show where he sounded the alarm about the attack on our food. The government has been waging war against our food since the thirties when Congress passed the Agricultural Adjustment Act of 1938. They started by setting strict limits on how many crops a farmer could grow in a season and punishing anyone who grew more—even if it was intended for personal use, not for sale on the market. This sort of autocratic behavior has continued into the modern day and has only gotten more draconian. Today, not only are you forced to buy meat that a USDA-approved facility has processed, but the elites want meat in general off the menu. Cow farts are too dangerous to the environment, so the WEF wants you to eat climate-friendly alternatives—like bugs.

Water

ALESSANDRO RAMPAZZO / Contributor | Getty Images

As Glenn discussed during a recent Glenn TV special, the government has been encroaching on our water for years. It all started when Congress passed the Clean Water Act in 1972, which gave the government the ability to regulate large bodies of water. As the name suggests, the act was primarily intended to keep large waterways clear of pollution, but over time it has allowed the feds to assume more and more control over the country's water supply. Most recently, the Biden administration attempted to expand the reach of the Clean Water Act to include even more water and was only stopped by the Supreme Court.

Electricity