Wind turbines are racist. Let me explain.

Have you ever seen a black wind turbine? No. Have you ever seen a brown wind turbine? No. They’re all white. Every. Single. One.

But wind turbines aren’t just gigantic, racially insensitive, diversity-denying jerks. They have other vices as well.

Recently, Seattle’s Waterfront Park decided it would be a good idea to buy a set of three wind turbines for around $107,000. The three wind turbines (who are all white, if you were wondering) will generate $1.39 worth of electricity a day, or a spectacular $42 a month.

Now, that may not seem like a lot, but that’s because that’s the low estimate. At peak generation, the turbines will create about . . . wait for it . . . over 5 bucks a day! Or $168 a month in electricity! At that rate, it will only take about 53 years for the wind turbines to pay for themselves! Well, assuming no maintenance costs. Or staffing. Or anything else.

City Councilwoman Sissi Bruch summed up the wind turbines’ energy production perfectly — along with the reason government is horrible at everything:

“I did not realize they would produce so little energy. I wouldn’t have voted for it knowing it was that little.” Of course, even these disastrous estimates are just guesses.


City officials can’t even be sure because, you know, they’re wind turbines. They can’t predict wind speeds. They aren’t God.

One other minor issue — even the crappy amount of electricity they were supposed to generate is difficult to live up to when they aren’t even turned on. A maintenance issue is preventing them from actually operating.

Of course, green energy projects rarely have anything to do with green energy. An operational set of wind turbines was never the intent of the city council. Their main function? According to Nathan West, director of community and economic development for Seattle, they were built “to ensure we have a vertical element to draw visitors to the park.” To translate, they were built to look pretty.

Sure, they’ll be able to generate enough energy to illuminate some lights in the park as well (when they’re finally turned on), but the reality is they are just there as a “design element” that adds to the “positive aesthetic” in the park and “symbolizes energy creation.”

$107,000 to symbolize energy creation.

The only thing these wind turbines symbolize is wasted tax payer money — and white supremacy.

And that’s why the wind turbines at Waterfront Park in Washington are yet another #GreenFail!