Spokesperson Confirmed George H.W. Bush Groping Story, Offered This Explanation

Two women have claimed this week that former President George H.W. Bush took advantage of being next to them while taking a photograph by touching them inappropriately and telling crude jokes.

A statement from Bush’s spokesperson confirmed incidents like what they described.

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“To try to put people at ease, the president routinely tells the same joke — and on occasion, he has patted women’s rears in what he intended to be a good-natured manner,” the statement said. “Some have seen it as innocent; others clearly view it as inappropriate. To anyone he has offended, President Bush apologizes most sincerely.”

Now 93 years old, Bush has been in a wheelchair for the past half-decade.

“Have you seen him lately?” Glenn asked on today’s show, pointing out that Bush hardly has the physical stamina to be cast as a dangerous sexual predator. “It’s not like he’s out at night working the clubs.”