GLENN: Oh, man! I hope tonight is the beginning of giving ourselves a country that will make Obama’s wife proud. Wouldn’t that be no, seriously she’s speaking tonight. I’m sure they’ve told her, stick to the script, please. No Marxist stuff, please, tonight. I’m very, very excited that we can bring you the worst political coverage on radio and on television. We’re bending over backwards to make sure that we’re really not involved and we’re thousands of miles away from all of the bums in Denver, Colorado. In fact, CNN has gone the extra mile to make sure that we don’t even have access to the satellite trucks which I think is no, seriously, Stu, don’t you think that’s a good thing?

STU: Fabulous.

GLENN: I mean, a lot of people can get satellite coverage out there. We decided, nope, nope, nope. So we continue to bring you the it’s what makes us number 3. Look, Rush doesn’t need to be there. You know what I mean? Like what does Rush have to go out there for? You know what I’m saying? Hannity, he’s got to go out there. Me? I don’t want to go out there. I don’t think you want to go out there… unless we can make fun of it and that’s just the wrong thing to do. That’s not really the American spirit. The American spirit really is, is to be a helper, don’t you think? I think we should just be helpers. I think we should do everything we can to help them out. Now, their big goal is to have a green convention and as I understand because I’m not really into the whole carbon thing but as I understand, they are erasing everything, all of the carbon through offsets and green menus and I’m not kidding you, tricolored foods, to be able to reduce the carbon footprint and, in fact, have a zero carbon convention. I think that’s fantastic. We’ve done some calculations and we’d like to help out. We’d like to provide America with some carbon onsets. Now, what this is, as we try to put this together, this is where you can pitch in. You know they say everybody makes a difference. Stu, what are the actual numbers here on the carbon footprint of this convention?

STU: Well, the stories we’ve researched have showed about 70 million pounds of CO2.

GLENN: 70 million pounds of CO2. And that’s what they’ve tried to erase through carbon offsets.

STU: Yeah, they did clarify that later that a lot of this is just guidelines because they wouldn’t want to mandate. Mandating, the Democratic matter would never mandate, never. This is just a suggestion.

GLENN: Yeah. Like Obama, he’s mandating that we have double the amount of alternative fuel usage by 2012, but why would you mandate your own party be green? You can’t do that. You just, it’s a guideline, we’re trying really hard, super hard. Here’s what we’d like to do. We would like to offer you carbon onsets. If you go to the website at, and we want you to do this. Please, please, it’s for our children. I don’t know why you would go to the website and sign up for this and then not actually do it. Don’t do it because it says something about you. Do it because you really mean it. Go to the website now and you’ll see right on the front page our onset program. And what we’re trying to do is to erase all of the carbon offsets for the Democratic party. What we’d like to do is we would like to raise 70 million pounds of carbon. Now, this is going to take a Herculean effort, it really is. I don’t know if we can do it. We can’t mandate it. I can’t say, hey, you’ve got to do this as a listener. What I’m just, I’m asking you to participate because it’s for the children. You go to the website. Now, how many, how many extra miles can you pledge? Can you drive five extra miles a day? Can you take the long way home, the long way to work? Can you just warm up your car? I know it’s August. Can you cool down your car? Can you get up like you do in the winter and just start your car? You know, it’s hot or it’s tepid when I get into my car. I would like it to be ice cold. Can you get up, start your car 15 minutes early and just let it run so it cools down. You know what I’m saying? Do your part. It’s for the children. Why do you not care about our planet? Can you give me an extra day of increased garbage, maybe two, maybe three? Can you throw away some stuff that you don’t really need to throw away? Can you not recycle? Can you throw your cans into the nonrecycling bin just for this week? Can you do it for the children? Can you go in in fact, Stu, get my wife on the phone. Can you get my wife on the phone? She was making a pie last night and she used the and me, not even thinking, she used the big mixer. I put it away for her. Why would I put it away? Plug that mixer in. Use your appliances.

Hang on. You have the phone number? There it is. Plug those appliances in. You know they said who was it, Stu, that was giving us the information just the other day that said, you know, what you need to do is you need to unplug your television set every time you’re not using it because it’s still drawing use. Unplug all of your appliances. Unplug your computer when you’re not using it and then plug it back in. I say this week you not only unplug your television don’t unplug your television like anybody’s ever going to do that. You leave it on. Can you turn your thermostat down unnecessarily? I know you probably like it at a nice 70 degrees, maybe 72 degrees. Can you turn it down to 68 just this week. Can you take an extra long shower. How many loads of laundry can you do? Can you pledge just a few extra minutes in the dryer, after your clothes are dry, just let it go a couple of extra minutes. Do you have any fluorescent light bulbs? Can you would you pledge, would you pledge just to replace one of your fluorescent light bulbs with an incandescent light bulb today, just one. That’s all we’re asking, just one. We’re trying to raise 70 million pounds of carbon and it’s not going to be easy.