Glenn’s Carbon ONset Program

Learn how you can help…

VOICE: Citizens of the world, we need your help. We must act now to offset the carbon offsets from the Democratic National Convention, but time is running out. We need to pump over 60 million tons of carbon into the air in just a few short days. If we don’t act now, the consequences will be catastrophic. In fact, your kids will die. Well, possibly. Corporate sponsors are needed and more than welcome. Go to GlennBeck.com to help or call 888 727 BECK to make your pledge.

GLENN: Yeah, it’s quite a big day on the program today. We’re greening well, we’re more browning than greening. What are you, a colorist all of a sudden? We’re just trying to make a difference in our world. We care about the children, care about the animals, we care about, you know, a nice comfortable 77 degree year round temperature and if there’s one thing I know we can do. I mean, we can’t solve wars, you know, we can’t seemingly come up with anything else but oil to run our cars, but one thing we can do, we all work together and hope, hope to change. We can keep a steady 77 degree temperature year round and I think that’s I think it’s time. I think it’s time that we all step to the plate and say, isn’t it time? Yeah, I think it is. We’ve crossed over 3 million pounds now but our goal is 70 million pounds of carbon. That’s what the offsets we’re doing in Colorado. We don’t know yet if any of those offsets were actually being purchased from Al Gore’s company which sells offsets. Wouldn’t that be great. But we’re trying to onset the offsets from the DNC convention, and I think you can help out. The number’s 888 727 BECK. Have you made your pledge of just burning an extra carbon or two this week. It’s for the children. Please. Make a difference.

Family cloth stacked on the toilet

Pail beside toilet:


For your nose:

By the way, you know, so many people ridiculed Sheryl Crow and she said, you know, we should all use one piece of toilet paper and that’s clearly a joke and we were one of the only shows that was intellectually honest enough to say that doesn’t sound right. And when we read it in context, we pointed out that she was joking. However, at the time we also pointed out that some people won’t be. Here’s the latest from the environmental front now. Reusable toilet paper. It’s called The Family Cloth or Family Wipes. They are being urged now as eco friendly replacement for toilet paper. You can find this in Yahoo! Answers and green websites, for the eco friendly alternative to toilet paper. Here’s just an excerpt from this. The purpose of the Family Cloth is to reduce the waste created by toilet paper. The environmentally unfriendly aspects of toilet paper happen before it arrives at your home. Trees are destroyed for the necessary pulp and large amounts of chemicals are used to turn the wood pulp into the soft fluffy white tissue we like to use. In addition those darn packages of toilet paper are big and a lot of fuel is burned getting them to your destination. These concerns are causing people to ditch their toilet paper and use a Family Cloth instead.

I would like to talk to somebody, anybody on planet Earth that has ditched toilet paper and is now using Family Cloth. We have about eight million listeners. Out of those if people are let me see. These concerns are causing people to ditch their toilet paper out of eight million people in this country, I would assume one, one is part of that. There has to be somebody who happens to be just changing the station right now and they’re like, oh, this guy, I hate wait a minute. He’s talking about Family toilet paper, I’ve done that! Family wipes, you bet. I’m going to call him up. I’d love to talk to you if that’s you. The article goes on. Old T shirts are the most popular source for the family cloth pieces. Using them for a family cloth prevents them from becoming yet another piece of landfill. Cotton T shirt material is soft and very absorbent. They also receive high ratings from female users because they don’t leave any of the annoying tissue dust after usage.

For those unfamiliar with Family Cloth, the name is somewhat misleading. No one seems to be certain where the term originated but it’s not an accurate title. Family members do not share a single cloth for their bathroom wiping needs. Oh, why? How many times do you have to wash this cloth? Can’t we just use one piece of cloth, all of us, all day long?

Each family member has their own cloth. Most often they just stack a bunch of clean cloth strips. They are left near the toilet in the bathroom. And then the family cloth is placed in a bucket and every few days those are washed. Hmmm. That’s fantastic. I think the Progressives and the environmentalists are leading us into an America that most of us could only have imagined. You know, it’s some, like, spooky science fiction book. You can just say no way could we ever be that yeah, yeah, we’re on our way. Oh, to the Family Cloth. And by the way, if you’re listening right now and you’re not thinking that the Family Cloth is a good idea, well, ask yourself why is it you hate the planet so much. What is it about you? What is it about you that you should maybe reevaluate and change? And if you don’t change, well, maybe we should send you to a camp. Maybe we should enlist you in the Coming Green Corp where you can serve to make the planet green. You can learn how important it is, where if we all just come together and fight to keep our planet green, the deer will start to talk like Bambi and we’ll finally be able to understand Thumper… you’re like, yes, you are a bunny and I don’t want to kill you, no. That’s why I’m using a Family Cloth.

Are we insane? The answer to that, if I were standing at a convention, I would have said it like, "Are we insane?" And then I would have said, "No." And then tried to get you to say "No" back and it would be great because we could all be like stupid zombies chanting something back: "No. Yes, we can! No, we shouldn’t!" Oh, I can’t… I’m going to go into some of the stuff.