GLENN: 888-727-BECK, 888-727-BECK. Well, we’re glad you’re here. Where do I go here, Stu?

STU: Well, Glenn, I don’t know. Let me trace this back for a minute here because yesterday we had a call who called up and she was a palm reader and she was apparently going to go to one of your book signings yesterday. Did you make contact with this – 

GLENN: Yes, I did meet – did I make contact with her?

STU: Yeah.

GLENN: Calling the palm reader, calling the palm reader.

STU: In another dimension.

GLENN: In another dimension. What city did I see her in? It was Pocatello. By the way, I was in yesterday, what, four cities? I was in Boise, Twin Falls, Idaho Falls and Pocatello and Rexburg yesterday. I was in those five cities yesterday, and I drove the southern part of right south of Pocatello and it – I’m telling you it was some of the most beautiful country I have ever, ever seen. Would you agree with that, Joe? It was purple mountains majesty and amber waves of grain. And it snowed. The grain – the hay had all been obviously cut a long time ago or the wheat or whatever they’re growing. I don’t know. I’m from the city. But the sun was setting, the sky was deep purple, the mountains were – the sky was deep blue, the mountains were purple, the wheat or whatever it was sticking up through the snow was amber. It was the most beautiful picture I have ever seen, just unbelievable. The only problem with it was, I’m sorry, Idaho, but you have far too many signs that say "Next exit, 47 miles." And when you are at least 47 miles away and you can’t trust that that exit has some sort of dispenser that could give you a Frosty, I just don’t know. You know what I’m saying?

STU: It’s very, very understandable, Glenn, when you are away from Wendy and her services. I know you get very disappointed.

GLENN: I’m just saying.

STU: But, so you did actually get this woman to come out? You did meet her? You did talk to her?

GLENN: I didn’t get her to came out. She came out. She called the show, she said she wanted to read my – and I said, I’m all full up on having my palm read today.

STU: Right.

GLENN: And then somehow or another I found myself at a Xerox machine copying my palms and then Joe got her, I guess faxed her my palms and she did come out to the book signing and she just showed me my line of my guardian angel, which – 

STU: Well, I think there’s more information apparently.

GLENN: Is there?

STU: Because she’s on the line right now.

GLENN: The palm reader?

STU: Yes.

GLENN: Cat?

CALLER: Hi, Glenn.

GLENN: Now Kat, is it spelled with a C or a – is it spelled with a C or a K?

CALLER: K-A-T. Short for Kathleen.

GLENN: Okay, Kathleen. Well, it was nice to meet you yesterday.

CALLER: It’s Kat.

GLENN: Well, Kat. I was told afterwards that you – I was told yesterday that you actually had to touch my hands.

CALLER: Well, I just wanted to see your ADD. It shows in your headline on your hand, and it’s there. Do you know what ADD is?

GLENN: No.

CALLER: It’s just your spine turned out of place at the very top, twisted out of place. Irritates the nerves all the time. Drives you crazy. They think if you get rid of your ADD, then you won’t have all this creativity. You have fabulously creative hands. You have a long finger like Bill Gates, a ring finger.

GLENN: Really?

CALLER: Which is a creative – 

GLENN: Have you been seeing Bill Gates’ hands?

CALLER: Yes, he held his hand right up to the TV just for me the other day.

GLENN: Did he really? Now hang on just a sec. Are you telling me that you pause television to look at people’s hands?

CALLER: All the time. I cut pictures out of the paper. I got Oprah Winfrey’s hands. You got her thumb, by the way. The thumb – 

GLENN: I have – what is she using for a thumb?

CALLER: The length of the fingers is your talents, and they have already done a study in Germany about this. They said, "Oh, we can find the talents of kids by measuring their fingers." And it was published in the British journal of psychology. Listen, I’m not just a palm reader. That’s just my fun job. I’m a schoolteacher. I’ve got a master’s degree in health education.

GLENN: Okay, hang on just a second. Kat, you say you can find people’s talents by the length of their fingers.

CALLER: Yes, I have – 

GLENN: That’s the – look, I have German heritage. That’s the German going, "You will play the piano, ya?" That’s what that is.

CALLER: Another thing, you’ve got a really low set heart line, which is a very passionate race, Italian, Irish, German. It sits quite high up in your hand. That’s – 

GLENN: Hang on just a second.

CALLER: That’s the top line in your hand.

GLENN: When you say – hang on just a second. When you say a very passionate race, you say Italian, you think – hang on, you think Italian, you think romance, you think Irish, you said the passionate? You think drunks. You say passion German, which I am, you think putting people in concentration camps passion. That’s not necessarily a good thing.

CALLER: You feel deeply about things. You are very passionate about things. Let me tell you the really important part of your hand is the shape of your hand. When you have the shape of your hand tells you that your talents, the real square hands, athletic hands. A real round hand is artistic. A long palm in proportion to the fingers is the philosophical hand, and what you’ve got is two of them. You’ve got a real long palm compared to the fingers. So you have a philosophical hand and you have a very artistic hand, and the philosophical people have a tendency to overanalyze everything. They will think – 

GLENN: Let me ask you this because I’m just looking at it and maybe I’m overanalyzing but it looks like I have orangutan hands.

CALLER: No, you don’t.

GLENN: I mean, I’ve never seen an orangutan that’s a creative philosophy major.

CALLER: No, you can’t have orangutan hands because the thumb sits out in a square. Look how your thumb sits out.

GLENN: It’s not my thumb. That’s Oprah Winfrey’s thumb.

CALLER: Oh, your thumb, that’s the talent, remember? The thumb is the numbers and you have a short thumb which means you can compute numbers in your head really good. It’s the same as Oprah Winfrey’s thumb. She’s got a short thumb. You have a thumb similar to Oprah Winfrey’s.

GLENN: But not as good as Oprah Winfrey.

CALLER: I don’t know, it’s pretty shore.

GLENN: If we were having an add-off, she would probably win.

CALLER: And then the pointer finger is your boss finger, and the middle finger is your business finger. That’s not a real long finger. When it’s short, you are very compassionate. It’s a social worker’s finger. And then your ring finger – 

GLENN: Wait a minute, hang on just a second. You are saying the middle finger is your compassion finger?

CALLER: Yeah. It’s your business finger. If it’s a real long finger – 

GLENN: Get out of my business, I know, I’ve used that business finger before.

CALLER: And then your ring finger and your pinky finger are your brain fingers. And the fingers develop at the same time the brain is developing, when you are a fetus in the body. So your ring finger is quite long on your right hand. That’s the Bill Gates finger. Creative, imaginative, inventive, abstract thinker.

GLENN: What does the little finger mean?

CALLER: The little finger is your scholarly finger. You are very left-brained when that finger – and yours is a little bit long, which is strange on men. You love words, scholarly. It’s usually the doctor/lawyer finger. If it’s kind of a short little pinky – 

GLENN: If I may just wrap this up, Kat, I don’t want to put words in your mouth but I’m a creative, compassionate genius that would like to round everybody up, put them in a concentration camp using Oprah’s thumb. Thanks for your phone call, Kat. God bless you.