SARAH: And now a Glenn Beck Program Olympic update.
STU: Excellent job, Sarah.
GLENN: This is great.
STU: It’s Stu. I am live in the other studio across the room with glass kind of in between us.
GLENN: Stu, can you hear me?
STU: Yes, I can hear you. Can you hear me?
GLENN: I can hear you.
STU: It’s a soundproof window.
GLENN: It is. I don’t know the advances in modern technology, the miracle of telephonics here.
STU: It is amazing, Glenn, but I am sitting here right now looking at the same television screen that you’re looking at.
STU: And I’m breaking news as we speak.
STU: There is news coming from over there in Copenhagen.
GLENN: Ya, sure.
STU: Ya, sure. The first round of voting is up for the Olympic games, and the first
GLENN: Wait for it! Wait for it! Enjoy this. Savor this moment.
STU: And the first city to be eliminated is… Chicago. Yes, our president flew all the way over there to fail
GLENN: Not one plane. Just in one plane?
STU: No. Two planes. We need more breaking news. There we go. Two planes.
GLENN: Two planes.
STU: His wife Oprah Winfrey, all the jet fuel needed to lift them.
GLENN: All the massive amounts of corruption that was promised.
STU: All the greenhouse gas emissions, all the publicity, all the excitement.
GLENN: For nothing.
STU: For as the kids call it, an epic fail.
GLENN: Hang on just a second. Stu, can you still hear me?
STU: I can can you still see me?
GLENN: I can see you, yes.
STU: And hear me?
GLENN: I can hear you and see you through the glass. Now let me ask you this, Stu.
STU: Yes, Glenn.
GLENN: Are you saying that the president failed?
STU: Glenn, there is no honest observer who could disagree with that statement.
GLENN: Let me ask you this, Stu: In his failure to bring the Olympic games, didn’t Putin go over and get the Olympic games?
STU: Yes, he did, Glenn.
GLENN: Wasn’t Tony Blair the first to go over and get the Olympic games?
STU: I believe you’re correct on that, Glenn.
GLENN: So this would make the is it possible that this is the first head of state of any major country that has ever gone over and made the pitch in person and then failed?
STU: I don’t know if that’s true, but I’m choosing to believe it, Glenn.
GLENN: We can always hope.
STU: And Glenn, by the way, I don’t know if you’re noticing this. This is the first absolute undisputable proof of Rush’s comment being true: I hope he fails because we’re going to need the money. Well, he’s failed and guaranteed we’ve saved money by his failure.
STU: So it’s actually, it’s proven to be true.
GLENN: Do you notice there in Daley plaza they have a sign up on one of the buildings: Imagine.
STU: Imagine failure, Glenn.
GLENN: No, no. It says
STU: You don’t need to imagine it anymore. It’s here.
GLENN: It says Chicago 2016, imagine. And that’s exactly what they’re going to have to do. In 2016 they’ll stand around and imagine what it would have been like to have the Olympics in Chicago.
STU: Welcome to the 2016 imaginary games.
STU: Seriously that is a you know, we sat here
GLENN: An epic failure, epic failure.
GLENN: Epic failure.
STU: Why did he do this? This is terrible PR.
GLENN: Can I tell you something? Right now oh, my gosh. Chicago received the least votes in the first round.
STU: Yeah, it was eliminated.
GLENN: Yeah, urgent wire here.
STU: Tokyo is now out by the way as well. Tokyo is out. Madrid or Rio.
GLENN: What are they doing? How are they possibly making this? The only one that you could have done on social justice really was Tokyo.
STU: I think Rio, though, because there’s never been an Olympic games south of Mexico City, I believe. So I mean, the entire hemisphere is being ignored.
GLENN: Well, that’s a pretty big deal.
STU: That is a big deal.
GLENN: And they’re just good looking down in Rio. You know what I mean?
STU: There you go. But Glenn, seriously like how isn’t this president supposed to be the guy who can talk Ahmadinejad out of a nuclear program?
GLENN: Oh, yeah. They love him.
STU: If he can’t get
GLENN: He just gave a speech yesterday and he said, look, it’s important. I am the guy I am here to bring the whole world together. I am here to I can I got the whole world in my hand, I got the whole wide world in my hand, I got the whole wide world in my hand, I got… what? Oh, crap.
STU: I have nothing.
GLENN: I’ve got nothing in my hand.
STU: I’ve got two jets that need to fly back in my hand. I’ve got
GLENN: I said yesterday let me tell you something. Somebody right now is about to receive a phone call that will change their life. Somebody, whoever made the decision that said, yes, Mr. President, you should fly the first lady over and then you should join them on the day, so you’re in Copenhagen, ya, sure, when this story breaks. There’s no way to escape it because you can’t be, like, meeting with a general or something. You’re going to be in Copenhagen when they announce this. That person, whoever made that, is about, if they haven’t already, is about to receive this phone call (making phone noises). "Hello?" "Yeah, pack the stuff. Guess who’s got a new job at the Center for American Progress."
GLENN: Guarantee you someone is going to be transferred to the Center for American Progress. Which is weird because it’s almost like Siberia.
STU: Yeah, it is.
GLENN: You just go into Siberia and you’re just there. You still play a role, but you’ve brought shame to our fearless leader. Your family, like in the middle of the night, like Van Jones, I don’t even know. Is this family? Does his family even know where he is now? Do they just come and get him in the middle of the night and leave his family going, "Where did Daddy go?" "Oh, he went to the Center for American Progress. Shhh, quiet." I’m just sayin’. It’s just a question. Just a question.
STU: It’s time to turn in the Blackberry.
GLENN: May I ask no, no, the Blackberry is the one connected to the Center for American Progress.
STU: Center for American Progress, yeah, that’s a good point.
GLENN: May I ask this question: Is it possible that the president ever finds himself transferred to the Center For American Progress?
STU: I don’t know.
GLENN: We’re not really operating constitutionally now anyway. Could we wake up appeared ever just see a headline that says, "President transferred to the Center for American Progress. New president, John Podesta.
STU: No. Can George Soros just be implemented as king above all of them? That would make things a lot easier.
GLENN: You conspiracy theorist, what evidence do you have that George Soros is involved in any of this? So we have to I guess figure out which city was more corrupt and had bigger bribes to the IOC than Chicago. That’s saying something.
GLENN: When we can be outbribed, that’s
STU: The problem is that that whole corruption thing from Chicago is so long gone, a lot of these bids and stuff happened back when Rod Blagojevich was governor and he would never be involved in anything.
GLENN: And Mayor Daley, only 41 in his administration have
STU: 47, Glenn, 47.
GLENN: Only 47 have gone to jail for corruption.
GLENN: Not 48.
GLENN: Not 50. Only 47.
STU: 50 would be a problem. 47′s
GLENN: Well, it depends on how you define "Problem." So there it is. Heart breaking news. Chicago didn’t get the Olympics.