Glenn Beck: Snorefest 2010

GLENN: 888-727-BECK. The health care summit is going on and it is going to be fantastic. And it is finally live on C-SPAN. Now when we said we wanted the negotiations on C-SPAN, we weren’t looking for, you know, the speeches. We were looking for the negotiation, whose coming in, who is negotiating, what is the union saying? Who is getting what? That’s what we wanted on C-SPAN, transparency. What we are getting is a lecture. And I — now seriously, I — Stu, do I have to pay you time and a half to watch this today?

STU: Absolutely. I would actually put in for double time but if this lasts an hour.

GLENN: How bad are Republicans losing or holding their own.

STU: I think they are holding their own. It is exactly what you said. It is a bunch of speeches. The Republicans are coming after Obama. There is definitely that the bipartisan language is out there. They are talking about working together. It doesn’t seem that there is much cross over.

PAT: Are they standing up for each other or calling him bluff or calling it a sham? Is there any of that.

STU: The word sham was not used, but they do have the sham WOW guy.

PAT: Okay.

STU: Sorry, all right

(Overlapping speakers)

VOICE: Dear Mr. President, why can’t you shut Pat Gray up on the show.

VOICE: I’m only four years old and I have no arms and my eyelids were removed by a mean doctor who was just looking for more money.

GLENN: Go ahead, Stu.

STU: Thank you very much.

VOICE: Actually, I just need a haircut.

GLENN: All right.

PAT: All right.

STU: I don’t trust you.

GLENN: I’m here.

STU: I’m missing very important speeches on the — all right. Let me start going so you can interrupt again.

PAT: No.

GLENN: No. I want to hear it.

STU: A speech starts now.

PAT: America wants to hear it, please.

STU: So basically the Republicans are saying that .

PAT: I’m listening.

STU: The Republicans are saying that look, we can stop the — denounce the reconciliation, step one. And step two, let’s just start over. Don’t give us your plan that we can add a double things to.

GLENN: May I interrupt here because Stu gave the best during the insider, this is the best analogy ever.

PAT: Give the analogy.

GLENN: I will give it. It is much better and claim it is mine.

PAT: That will just be longer. I’m not sure that makes it better.

GLENN: It is easy. You are going out for food. Somebody says.

PAT: See, already it is longer. Go ahead.

GLENN: You are going out for food. Somebody says, I want pancakes. The other says, I want roast chicken. Great. We are going to have a bipartisan understanding here. We are going to have pancakes, and I will throw some chicken in yours. That’s not a compromise. That’s not what America wants. That’s not bipartisanship. That’s Barack Obama bipartisanship. Look, kids, we are all going on vacation, and we are all going to go to a museum.

VOICE: But I don’t want to go to a museum. I want to go to Disneyland.

GLENN: Great. We can watch the Mickey Mouse Club before we leave and then we are going to the museum. That’s what Barack Obama is doing to the American people. He’s giving you — you can have a little chicken in your pancake. I don’t know.

STU: The idea is to work together to come to a meal that you both like, not ruin both meals by putting chicken in.

PAT: I thought we were talking health care. Where did the food come in? Why do you always turn to food with us.

GLENN: Could you please play the Barack Obama sound where he’s rejecting the cries of takeover and socialism.

VOICE: Arrived a juncture in our politics where reasonable efforts to update our regulations or make basic investments in our future are too often greeted with cries of government takeover offer and socialism.

PAT: Stop. Do you know why of the government takeovers and –

GLENN: Just a second. What takeover?

PAT: Chrysler.

GLENN: Besides that.

PAT: AIG.

GLENN: Besides that.

PAT: Several banks.

GLENN: Besides now trying to take over the health care system, name a government takeover, you cry baby. It doesn’t help us get anywhere if you are saying he’s Marxist just bass he has Marxist tendencies. Just because he wants to socialize the auto industry, the health care industry, the banking industry.

PAT: That doesn’t mean anything.

CALLER: Doesn’t mean he’s taking over –

PAT: It just means he’s looking for the right blend.

GLENN: Have some pancakes with your chicken. I’m a firm believer of roast chicken.

PAT: Do you know whose fault this is, the last chef? He left us with these ingredients, the last stinking chef is the last one who is to blame.

GLENN: I’m only serving you pancakes with chicken in it because I had to. I don’t want to serve you with those, but let me tell you something. I’m a firm believer in having roast chicken today. Yes. It was my idea to have pancakes, and then take these leftover chicken pieces and put them in your pancakes but only because I had to. I believe that roast chicken is what we should have had.

PAT: It is Emerald’s fault. He left this mess with these ingredients and in the kitchen, and you are just trying to clean it up.

GLENN: That’s all I’m trying to do. All you are is the eater of no.

PAT: Uh-huh.

GLENN: I don’t want chicken in pancakes. I don’t like chicken pancakes.

PAT: So I’m a whiner, is that right? I should eat the chicken pancakes and shut my mouth?

STU: Somebody out there will make chicken pancakes tonight. Someone is trying it.

GLENN: This audience is to huge. There is somebody out there saying, chicken pancakes that sounds good.

PAT: I eat them every night. They are talking about making them. They are eating them now.

GLENN: They are eating them now. Why are you bashing chicken pancakes? Why can’t we have — we have the international house of pancakes. Why do you have to limit my pancake choices? Why are you saying that chicken pancakes are bad pancakes?

PAT: Stop providing us pancake eaters.

GLENN: Right now radio show hosts all over, Glenn Beck says he’s for pancakes.

(laughter)

GLENN: Yeah, I think chicken pancakes are bad. Let’s get off the chicken pancake bandwagon.

PAT: That’s what it is like.

GLENN: It is. I’m sitting here defending myself from people who don’t want to eat chicken pancakes either, and they are bashing me for why are you limiting our choices on chicken pancakes.

STU: But these are the same chefs that will tell you that they have been against chicken pancakes all along.

PAT: I was among the first to be against chicken pancakes.

GLENN: Really?

PAT: Why are you eating them every day.