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GLENN: I believe we can announce on this program that JD Hayworth’s campaign is over. JD Hayworth apparently made an infomercial and I don’t know how it took this long to find the infomercial, but it did. Here is a piece of the JD Hayworth infomercial from 2007.
VOICE: $80,000 in grant money and I don’t have to pay it back. I’m ecstatic about it.
VOICE: We award this grant for up to $1.3 million back.
VOICE: How much money? I mean, did I hear right, billions?
VOICE: Hundreds of billions.
VOICE: Hundreds of billions of dollars. Wow. Forgive me if I sound like a skeptic because that’s a lot of money. Probably too good to be true. Congressman, is it for real?
HAYWORTH: It is for real.
PAT: JD Hayworth.
HAYWORTH: I understand the skepticism in part because President Reagan used to say the greatest contradiction ever uttered was I’m from the government and I’m here to help, but I’m telling you this is really true. About 25 years ago a decision made to get money in the hands of the American people. And though we talk about it as if it’s free money, let me remind you. It’s not free money. It’s your money. It’s money you’ve already surrendered to the government in terms —
GLENN: Stop just a second. That’s great. So that company that got the $1.5 million loan —
PAT: That was all his.
GLENN: That was all their money.
PAT: Yeah. Isn’t that great?
GLENN: Wow. I didn’t know that.
PAT: Yeah, yeah.
GLENN: I thought when I first heard this audio, and there’s video that goes with it. I thought it was a parody. I thought it was a spoof.
GLENN: I thought it was somebody saying, you know, making fun of the system that we have set up. No, no, no.
GLENN: This is JD Hayworth waving the flag and saying, hey, get that money; it’s not free; it’s yours.
PAT: It’s very Matthew Lesko esque?
GLENN: Oh, my gosh.
GLENN: This guy’s done.
STU: It goes on, though. I think it actually gets worse from there.
GLENN: How could it possibly —
STU: Well, because at least at this point he’s sort of making a justification of something.
GLENN: Oh, boy. Let it roll.
PAT: Okay. We’re going to have to go back to the beginning.
GLENN: Well, that’s okay.
JD Hayworth Infomercial: Free money! You never have to pay it back!
VOICE: $80,000 in grant money and I don’t have to pay it back. So I’m ecstatic about it.
PAT: Who wouldn’t be.
VOICE: This grant for up to $1.3 million, greatest news about that is we don’t have to pay it back.
PAT: Great news. Great news.
VOICE: How much money? Did I hear right, billions?
VOICE: Hundreds of billions.
VOICE: Hundreds of billions of dollars? Wow. Forgive me if I sound like a skeptic, but that’s a lot of money. Sounds too good to be true. Congressman, is it for real?
HAYWORTH: It is for real. Now, I understand the skepticism in part because President Reagan used to say the greatest contradiction ever uttered was I’m from the government and I’m here to help. But I’m telling you, this is really true. About 25 years ago a decision made to get money in the hands of the American people.
PAT: All right.
HAYWORTH: And though we talk about it as if it’s free money, let me remind you.
GLENN: Yes, please.
HAYWORTH: It’s not free money.
HAYWORTH: It’s your money.
GLENN: It’s your money.
HAYWORTH: It’s money you’ve already surrendered to the government in terms of taxation.
PAT: It’s mine.
HAYWORTH: But the government has a chance and you have a chance to make an investment in yourself and, in fact, improve not only your personal economic situation but put people to work and really help rebuild the economy on your block, in your neighborhood, happening on Main Street instead of Wall Street.
STU: That’s Obama’s argument for the stimulus package.
VOICE: Like you’ve always dreamed of. National grants conferences can help you to be your own boss.
PAT: I love these.
VOICE: Send your kids to the best schools. Buy your first home. Renovate your house.
VOICE: Become an investor. Build wealth.
PAT: I mean, we might as well vote for Don Lapre.
VOICE: — that made $30 to $40 profit in a week and I placed those ads in around 1,000 other newspapers around the country.
GLENN: 1,000 other newspapers. That’s how I did it.
VOICE: That’s how I generated over $50,000 a week out of my one bedroom apartment. I’ll show you some secrets that will make you wish I started doing it five —
GLENN: Buy a bigger apartment, wouldn’t you?
PAT: Well, month after month after month, you still make $80,000! And you are still in a tiny one bedroom apartment.
GLENN: That’s crazy!
GLENN: Because it’s not my money. No, it’s not. It’s my money, not your money! Isn’t that right, JD Hayworth?
PAT: Vote for me, Don Lapre. I’ll get you hundreds of billions of dollars! But remember it’s not the government’s money; it’s your money.
VOICE: Rebuild the economy day after day by just accepting your own money back from the government.
PAT: Up to $1 1/2 million is available for you to start a small business selling tiny classified ads out of your one bedroom apartment.
GLENN: Keep talking. It’s making sense to me. Keep talking. Seriously, I — wait a minute. (Fly buzzing). Why is this guy — oh, yeah, it just landed on my face. Oh, yes. I like it when they wash their hands while landing on my face. Oh.
STU: If you listen to his argument there at the end, he is saying basically if you take money from the government to build your personal economy, it’s helping the economy grow and everything.
GLENN: Stimulus, yeah.
STU: That’s the stimulus program’s argument.
GLENN: It is.
STU: That is Obama’s argument for the stimulus package.
PAT: And he was making it back in 2007.
STU: He was! From his one bedroom apartment, he was making arguments about the stimulus.
PAT: I don’t think you recover from that. As a conservative I don’t think you do.
GLENN: We haven’t said anything about the election in Arizona mainly because, I just don’t want to get involved. If I have one on, I have to have both of them on, and we’ve done that in a few states and I just feel uncomfortable inserting myself in these because I don’t know. You know. At the state level you know. You know, I can tell you that my gut was saying Mike Lee. I think it was my wife said to me last night. She said, are you for Mike Lee or are you for Bridgewater? And I said, you couldn’t tell? And she said, no, I couldn’t tell. And I’m like, that’s good. I was kind of for Mike Lee but I don’t even know on that.
GLENN: I don’t even know on that. And it’s really up to you on the local level. We haven’t inserted ourself in Arizona, quite honestly one reason is, I mean, you know where I stand on John McCain. What a nightmare that guy is. But JD Hayworth, I mean, is that all you got?
PAT: Tiny classified ads month after month after month! Just place them in newspapers all over the country!
GLENN: Where is Arizona going to go from here? Do they have another option?
PAT: They are going to go with me, JD Hayworth, to a fabulous new swimming pool and a big fat home on the beach. I can show you how. For $29.95. But wait, there’s more.
STU: Has anyone heard Hayworth’s explanation for this yet? Has he come up with an answer?
PAT: I haven’t.
GLENN: He’s going to say — I don’t know,
PAT: Can he say it in the Don Lapre voice?
GLENN: Yeah. He’s going to say, listen, they have been taking your money for a long time! Are you just going to let that money sit in the federal government and go to somebody else?
GLENN: It’s your money! That’s why I’ve been saying take your money back! Take your money back, take your power back! And you can do it by calling me, now!
STU: That’s pretty good. I almost want to call, yeah.
PAT: Yeah. Is there a 1 900 line or something I could —
GLENN: I don’t know.
PAT: Because I think you could make money from that, too.
GLENN: Yes. 1 866 666 6666.
STU: I would really like to know what his explanation is because that sounds like the direction he would go.
[NOTE: Transcript may have been edited to enhance readability - audio archive includes full segment as it was originally aired]