GLENN: From high above Times Square in Midtown Manhattan, third most listened to show in all of America. My name is Glenn Beck. So I have to play some amazing audio here of the new chief of NASA. Okay, the space exploration, whatever. Let’s make NASA’s main, main mission to make Muslim countries feel good — I’m quoting — feel good about themselves and their contribution in history to math and science. Here is the chief of NASA.
VOICE: Charged me with three things. One is he wanted me to help reinspire children to get into science and math. He wanted me to expand our international relationships and third and perhaps foremost, he wanted me to find a way to reach out to the Muslim world and engage much more with dominantly Muslim nations, to help them feel good about their historic contribution to science and engineering.
PAT: Wow. Gosh, that’s —
PAT: That’s the charge given to Charles Bolden by the president of the United States for the NASA mission.
GLENN: That’s the most condescending thing I’ve ever heard.
PAT: That was his foremost mission.
GLENN: But imagine how condescending that is to say that NASA’s going to go over and say, look who’s been smart in the past, look what you’ve done. Who can take an abacus and turn it upside down? You can. I mean, that is the most condescending thing I’ve ever heard. Make them feel good about their history. And isn’t that so very progressive. Make them feel good. That’s the charge of NASA? That’s what we’re doing with NASA money?
PAT: Well, what would you do with NASA? I mean, you don’t — you know, it’s a space program. What are you going to do?
GLENN: You’ve already been to space.
PAT: You’re not going to go to space.
GLENN: We’ve already been to space.
PAT: We’ve been to the moon.
GLENN: If that’s your charge, shut NASA down.
GLENN: If that’s your charge, shut it down. You know there are some things that only the government can do because it is so big of a charge, such a huge charge. I no longer think that NASA is the only one that can go to space because we’ve seen it with the X rocket. You can do it. So NASA’s looking for a new mission. If that is the new mission of NASA, I don’t even know what that has to do with space. Shut it down.
PAT: No, because they are also doing global warming. So it’s the Muslim outreach.
PAT: And you are doing the climate change, too. So —
GLENN: We have Darrell Clegg Washington on the phone now.
KLEGWORTH: Darrell Klegworth.
KLEGWORTH: Yes. I’m the associate director of Glenn Beck Obama research outreach.
GLENN: Wait. I didn’t know we had one of those. What is this?
KLEGWORTH: The Glenn Beck coalition to outreach to Obama’s force.
GLENN: The Obama outreach?
GLENN: We’re reaching out to Obama supporters?
KLEGWORTH: We are. We believe that it’s important for many of the listeners out there who have voted for Barack Obama but might listen to Glenn Beck to know that they’re excellent at math.
KLEGWORTH: They’re excellent at —
GLENN: How is — I didn’t — first of all —
PAT: How do we even know they are excellent at math?
KLEGWORTH: They are fantastic at it. Have you ever met these people?
GLENN: Hang on just a second. No, I haven’t and I — I mean, first of all, they are probably not listening to us.
KLEGWORTH: Very important to reach out to them. They are listening very closely. A lot of people seem alienated by the fact that you bring up all of Obama’s faults and his connections to nefarious people.
GLENN: Right, but I don’t —
KLEGWORTH: But they really need to come along to the Glenn Beck business and to be customers and listeners of yours for years to come is to realize that we understand here at the Glenn Beck program that they know their times tables. They have studied both long and short division.
GLENN: Hang on just a second. I don’t think this is what — I mean, they don’t —
KLEGWORTH: But really —
GLENN: It’s not like they have a misunderstanding of where I stand on math with them.
KLEGWORTH: They do. Think about this. Do they know that you know that they’re special? They’re special people. Do they know —
GLENN: I think that might be a little condescending.
KLEGWORTH: Do they know that you know that they — if passed with cooking and appetizer, it will likely come out fairly well. Do they know that about you?
GLENN: That I know that they can cook appetizers?
KLEGWORTH: They can cook, when you cook —
GLENN: I’m not sure all of them can.
KLEGWORTH: Well, that’s not really important. That’s important is that they know that you know that they can cook up a wonderful spinach and artichoke dip.
PAT: So this is all about making them feel important or —
KLEGWORTH: We want to be sure that they feel good about their ability to look bruschetta.
GLENN: Let me just take this out of the real world here.
GLENN: You know, with our associate director of Obama voter outreach.
GLENN: And let’s use a hypothetical situation.
GLENN: Okay. Let’s say a group of people hated you because they thought that you were oppressing the rest of the world, that you were the Antichrist, the literal Antichrist, okay?
GLENN: They hated your way of life, they hated your religion, and it was deep. I mean, it was generational. If I said to them, hey, you’re good at math and science, I don’t think that’s going to make a difference.
STU: Well, that could ring a little hollow. But if you were to also say you’re good at social studies.
KLEGWORTH: You’re good at gym. You guys are fantastic at dodge ball and pickle ball you’re at least adequate.
PAT: I don’t think Obama supporters are good at dodge ball. I don’t think they even play it.
KLEGWORTH: How do you know that?
PAT: Well, because it’s dangerous.
KLEGWORTH: It is a little dangerous. Maybe we should ban that.
GLENN: But wait a minute, wait a minute. What if we tell them that they can play it even though it’s dangerous; that’s how good they are?
GLENN: It’s not dangerous for them.
PAT: Hmmm, that might be good.
KLEGWORTH: That’s pretty good.
PAT: You like that?
KLEGWORTH: I like that.
PAT: I mean, you are the outreach guy.
KLEGWORTH: I am.
GLENN: You go out and keep that outreach.
PAT: Make that happen.
GLENN: I think new Obama supporters are going to start coming, watching and listening to the show every day with this kind of —
KLEGWORTH: It’s important to focus on this, Glenn. Like, for example, we have started an outreach program directly to Sean Penn and we said, "I am Sam" was adequate. You did a good job in that movie. It was a good job of acting. It wasn’t —
PAT: Have you seen I am Sam?
KLEGWORTH: No, no, of course not.
PAT: Nobody did, but you just want to make him feel good about his performance.
GLENN: But I don’t think that’s going to make him a fan of me or even a supporter or even tolerate me.
KLEGWORTH: Well, it’s certainly not believable if you tell him he is good at math because there’s no way Sean Penn has come to addition in a good way.