GLENN: Have you seen that they have wrapped the West Wing in some sort of a tarp. Now, the way Drudge is reporting this is that nobody knows why they have wrapped the West Wing in tarp. Now, I don’t know. Maybe they’re I don’t know, Stu. What do you think that could be going on there?
STU: Well, I mean, you have the possibility of a bug situation.
GLENN: That’s what I think it is. However, Marcus Luttrell was over at my house last night and he said, no, you have to wrap the entire building, and the tarp doesn’t go over the roof, and you have to wrap the whole thing. And if you are going to do the bug spray. Which, of course, would mean that the bees know. I mean… the bees… the bees clearly know.
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PAT: And they are trying to get rid of them. They are trying to silence the bees. Is that it?
GLENN: I don’t know. They also could be beheading infidels–
PAT: At the White House? That seems unlikely to me.
GLENN: I know, but I
PAT: It seems unlikely.
GLENN: I’m going with the bug infestation myself, but it could be
STU: I’m pretty sure that that’s not true, the infidel thing.
GLENN: You don’t think they are beheading
STU: I’m going to go with 100% not true on that one.
GLENN: Really? 100%? You are 100% positive ?
STU: 100% sure, yeah.
GLENN: they didn’t cover all the windows in the executive wing because they are not beheading infidels? 100%? Sure.
STU: Just like I’m 100% sure that the Constitution allows freedom of religion. I know I’m breaking news to everyone.
GLENN: That is crazy.
PAT: Well, you would have been, had the president not just said it.
GLENN: Right. That came as a shock to me on Friday.
PAT: That was stunning.
GLENN: I didn’t
PAT: But then I looked it up and I’m like, he’s right.
GLENN: You are that is incredible.
PAT: Look, it’s not you don’t have to dig very deep. It’s right there in the First Amendment.
GLENN: That’s why you were a constitutional professor.
PAT: Yeah, yeah.
GLENN: A professor of constitutional law.
GLENN: Which I don’t think is true. Yeah, check it out. I don’t think it’s true.
GLENN: I don’t think he was a constitutional professor.
STU: Well, we heard him.
PAT: I think he was wasn’t it that there was some technical thing there, that he was a constitutional lawyer, and that’s not what he is.
PAT: It was professor or teacher or, I don’t know.
GLENN: Yeah. Well, you know who knows. The bees. The bees know–
PAT: And that’s why the tarp is up at the West Wing.
GLENN: They are hiding from the bees. They are trying to hide from the bees, or they are hiding the bees because the bees know and the bees were going to tell us.
PAT: Could they be killing bees?
GLENN: They might be. Could be a bee slaughterhouse. I don’t know. What do you think of this one? Okay. So you are saying 100%.
PAT: I’m with Stu on that one.
STU: Thank you, Pat.
GLENN: Is there a possibility
GLENN: That no, no, new scenario.
GLENN: Is there a possibility that, like right out the window of the Oval Office, like a priest went shooting out of the window of the Oval Office and you just heard, "Get out, priest." — "Get out, priest." You heard that?
STU: Again I’m at 100% that did not occur.
GLENN: Get out, priest. You don’t think so?
STU: I feel like
PAT: I’m going to go 98% on that, probably not. 98% probably not.
GLENN: I’m out of options. Again I think they are just exterminating, you know, bugs in the White House because there seems to be a real fly problem at the White House, and
PAT: It’s true. Crawling around his face during interviews.
GLENN: You can’t have a president have flies land all over him.
GLENN: Without somebody saying, what’s up with the flies? But apparently they have an insect problem at the White House.
PAT: They have got to stop leaving the doors and windows open. We do that and we get the same problem.
GLENN: Or they could stop having bullcrap come out of their mouths, which I hear attracts flies.
PAT: There is that.
STU: I do feel like it’s being reported as, like, this mystery. Is it really a mystery?
GLENN: Well, it’s not a mystery.
STU: Someone knows. It’s probably, just they probably haven’t had an answer to the question yet.
GLENN: Yeah. See, that’s why I said, the way that Drudge is reporting it is, it’s a mystery. Has anybody asked why the tarp is up there?
STU: I’m sure when we ask, someone that’s not going to be something they are going to be hiding the cause of.
GLENN: I don’t think so.
STU: I don’t think so.
GLENN: If they do, then we might be concerned that one of the other two options may have happened.
PAT: Either the priest or the beheadings? Those are the other two options?
STU: Well, the bees.
GLENN: Well, and the bees.
PAT: Okay, the bees.
GLENN: I mean, because the bees, the bees know.
PAT: Mmm hmmm.
STU: Have we checked the addresses of people who are buying "The bees know" T shirts? Do we know if the White House has ordered any?
GLENN: Wait a minute, what about this, what about this option?
STU: Are you just ignoring my "Bees know" T shirt idea?
STU: Because I think it’s possible.
GLENN: What about this option? What about, what if, like, the president had a meeting in the Oval Office and he invited the do nothing Republicans up and he said, let me make this clear wait a minute, before I do that, I’ve just got to go to the bathroom. And he left and they had installed those spiky things in the ceiling and it just kind of came down on all the do nothing Republicans and they’re just having to mop up the mess?
STU: Like an Indiana Jones sort of thing?
GLENN: Kind of like that. Maybe a big rock came down and the president said, I’ve got to go. Because it is an oval. So maybe they got a big oval rock that just came out of the ceiling and just went… boof.
PAT: I’m going to go 99.6% no on that.
GLENN: Okay. I’m out of options. I don’t know why then they have covered the West Wing in the tarp.
STU: I think still the bug infestation is probably the most likely.
PAT: Maybe they are doing remodeling, maybe that’s a possibility.
GLENN: Are you going to, they might be scraping paint off the side of the White House? That’s crazy.
PAT: I know, that’s nuts.
GLENN: That’s crazy.
PAT: That’s nuts, yeah.
STU: That wouldn’t be a mystery at all.
GLENN: Consider the big rock.
GLENN: Okay? Just consider it for a while.
PAT: I have now and now I’m up to 99.7% no.
GLENN: But there is still
STU: Still a .3% chance.
GLENN: Still a shadow of a doubt.
STU: So you are telling me there’s a chance.
STU: I like that, that’s possible, hey, anything’s possible.
PAT: I mean, anything’s possible.
GLENN: Hey, if I would have said we would be a socialist nation in 18 months after this president, which I did, how many would have believed me?
STU: I kind of believed you on that one actually.
GLENN: Did you?
STU: It does seem like we’re going that way, doesn’t it?
GLENN: Yeah hey, by the way, have you heard that we’re now cloning cattle from dead animals? Does that sound like a good idea to anybody?
PAT: Ummm, no, I don’t like the whole cloning thing at all.
GLENN: How about this, how about this.
PAT: Dead or alive.
GLENN: They put a tarp up because they’re cloning dead cats and making them into vegetables?
STU: How would that process even work? It seems incredibly unlikely.
GLENN: CIA is involved. That’s what they want you to think, that they can’t do that. They want you to think they can’t do that.
PAT: Oh, they are doing a good job because I don’t think they can do that.
GLENN: Oh, please.
PAT: They are doing a really good job?
GLENN: Oh, please. You’re part of it.
PAT: I know.
GLENN: You know? Obviously
PAT: I don’t buy into the nine listen conspiracy, either. So I’m obviously a part of it. I work for the CIA.
GLENN: Are you telling me scientists can model weather, they can’t get it right next week but they can model weather for the next 1,000 years and they can’t turn dead cats into vegetables?
STU: (Laughing). You say it like that, it almost seems logical.
[NOTE: Transcript may have been edited to enhance readability – audio archive includes full segment as it was originally aired]