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GLENN: I want to go over this, the beauty queen, the teen beauty queen. I feel bad for her quite honestly. Her name is Lauren Upton and she was on — she’s Miss Teen South Carolina and I guess she was on Miss Teen USA with Mario Lopez. And Stu, for those who — I’m going to pretend I don’t know who Mario Lopez is.

STU: I don’t think so.

GLENN: Husband, ex-husband?

STU: What if they just weren’t related at all?

GLENN: Weren’t related at all?

STU: Yes. What if they just weren’t related at all?

GLENN: I don’t know.

STU: Like you are doing a really good job acting like you don’t know who he is here because you are just throwing out random possibilities.

GLENN: Well, I’m confused.

STU: Right. You’re acting like you’re confused.

GLENN: Is he one of the Mario brothers?

STU: No, I think you’re —

GLENN: Anyway, who is he?

STU: He is the guy, he played on Saved By the Bell. A. C. Slater, Saved By the Bell, Glenn.

DAN: You never watched Saved By the Bell every day.

STU: You are faking that position.

GLENN: So Mario Lopez asked this question on Miss Teen USA and is the question included? Here it is. Listen to this. I warn you, I’m going to have to stop it halfway through her answer, maybe several times through her answer because you are not going to be able to take it. Your head’s going to hurt. You’re going to be so embarrassed.

DAN: Well, Glenn, also in here, too, is kind of, he sets up what this means, this part of it. So you really get into the moment here. Just the pressure that Miss Carolina —

GLENN: I feel bad for her because it is a lot of pressure. It is a lot of pressure and you can see anybody just crumbling on it, but good heavens, here it is.

SPEAKER: That is the round of competition that ultimately determines their fate. The "Make it or break it" moment. The ladies will have to demonstrate their ability to answer a thought-provoking final question. Sound simple? Easier said than done, especially when the whole country is watching. Here’s how it works. Our panel of judges have prepared their own questions. So now we will ask each finalist to pick the name of the judge, who will then ask a final question. Ladies, you’ll have 30 seconds before you hear the sound of this bell (bell sounding.) Good luck. We begin with South Carolina. (Applause)

SLATER: Hello, South Carolina, please pick out the name of the judge. Thank you. Judge Number 5, Amy Teegarden.

JUDGE NO. 5: Recent polls have shown a fifth of Americans can’t locate the U.S. on a world map.

GLENN: Stop. A fifth of Americans can’t locate the U.S. on a map. That is — Stu, I want you to look that up.

STU: Yeah, I don’t believe that.

GLENN: How do you not find America on a map?

VOICE: Why do you think this is?

VOICE: I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so —

GLENN: Stop. Stop, stop. She personally believes that U.S. Americans? Okay, I won’t nitpick. So U.S. Americans can’t do it because — this is what she personally believes. Because…

VOICE: Miss South Carolina: And that I believe that our education such as South Africa and Iraq, everywhere like such as, and I believe that they should — our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S. — or should help South Africa and should help Iraq and the Asian countries. So we will be able to build up our future for our children.

VOICE: Thank you very much, South Carolina.

STU: That’s a great response: Thank you very much. What else do you say? What else do you do after that?

GLENN: What do you say? And you know what it was? She was bound and determined, she was trying to do what politicians do. No matter what they ask you, no matter what they ask you, you get in South Africa and Iraq. That’s what she’s doing.

STU: That’s great.

GLENN: Those are the two politically correct things to do. You just — I’m worried about the children in Iraq, I’m worried about this war. You look deep, go for a depth charge. I’m worried about South Africa, whatever I have to say about South Africa. I’m from South Carolina; I’m not racist. I care about South Africa, okay? So that was the advice. I can guarantee that was the advice: Just work them, no matter what they ask you, just go for this. You just have to say this.

So why don’t they have maps? Because a lot of people can’t afford maps, but that’s why we should have education to help people in South Africa and Iraq.

STU: What? I feel terrible for her, though. Because this is like the big, you know, youtube. Can you put this in the news letter today, Dan?

DAN: Oh, yes.

GLENN: Oh, no. I feel bad, I do.

STU: You need to see it, though.

GLENN: She’s a teenager. I feel bad for her.

STU: They’re legitimately pressured.

DAN: This is the American Idol thing. You guys said you don’t feel bad. She’s putting herself out there.

[ OVERLAPPING SPEAKERS ]

GLENN: You don’t have to — she’s going to be Owen Wilson by the end of the evening.

STU: No, no. I mean, look. It’s a bad moment for her but I’m sure she has a lot of stuff going, going on in her — her life is going to turn out good, I think. I think she’s going to — I think it’s all going to turn around.

>> Miss South Carolina: I believe that they should —

GLENN: Do you believe that, Stu?

STU: I firmly believe she’s got a shot at possibly —