GLENN: Saturday I’m in St. Louis, which we just love St. Louis. We were all out.

PAT: Man, it was fun.

GLENN: What a great town. Went to a book signing and before the book signing I get a phone call and they say, Marc Bulger is there and wants to say hello or something.

PAT: We’re on the way over in the SUV and —

GLENN: In the what?

PAT: Is the SUV. And executive assistant or whatever he is, Joe, is kind of outlining how it’s going to go and what’s going to happen at the book signing. And he says, there’s a Mr. Bulger that wants to meet you. I guess he’s some professional sport — and I’m like, wait, what? Wait. Mark Bulger? Aare you talking about the NFL pro quarterback Mark Bulger?

GLENN: I meet him before. He’s a nice guy.

GLENN: I said, oh, yeah, yeah, I met him before. He is really a nice guy.

PAT: You have met him before?

GLENN: Yeah, I met him before.

PAT: Oh, I didn’t realize that.

STU: How did I not hear that story?

PAT: Very nice guy.

GLENN: Because I don’t know anything about sports and I feel awkward around these guys.

STU: No one deserves what you have less than you, nobody!

PAT: Especially when it comes to sports, but it gets worse.

GLENN: You ready for this? It gets worse.

PAT: It gets much worse than that!

GLENN: Okay. So now we’re leaving the bookstore and, I know, Tony Lasorda or —

PAT: Tony Lasorda…

STU: Shut up!

PAT: Tony LaRussa.

GLENN: Tony LaRussa.

PAT: Manager of the St. Louis Cardinals.

GLENN: He calls. He’s a big fan. And he said, do you want to come —

PAT: Yeah, yeah.

GLENN: He said, you want to come

PAT: Yeah, yeah. You want to come tour Busch stadium?

GLENN: Yeah. And I’m like, sure. My question was, is it outside?

PAT: That was that was a good question because it was miserable.

GLENN: It was miserable. It was miserably hot. And I said, is it outside? He said, yeah. And I went, all right. So we go and they’re playing baseball, I guess, and —

PAT: Getting ready to.

GLENN: Who were they playing?

PAT: I think they were playing the Oakland A’s.

GLENN: Okay. So they’re playing Oakland, which I’m happy to say just because I hate Oakland, St. Louis beat them. And I only know that because Tony actually showed up to the show afterwards. He’s like, we’ve got to get this game done so we can go see the show. So we go, you know, go back and we’re talking and, you know, he realizes very quickly I know nothing about baseball. So we start talking about Vince Flynn and Brad Thor. He’s a big avid thriller reader. And then he says, you want to go back to the locker rooms?

PAT: I mean literally the locker room where everybody’s getting ready for the game.

GLENN: And it was — it’s quite a plush place, man. It’s really, wow.

PAT: Beautiful. It is beautiful, unbelievable facility.

GLENN: Really nice, really nice. So all these people come up and they are all the players and they — apparently they watch the show, you know, before the games and —

PAT: And Glenn Beck doesn’t know Albert Pujols from Albert Einstein.

GLENN: Don’t, don’t.

PAT: He has no idea.

GLENN: Don’t.

PAT: He doesn’t know.

GLENN: No idea.

PAT: No idea. And there is Pujols the second we walk into the locker room right there, prominently displayed.

STU: The best player in the major leagues.

PAT: Best player maybe in all of baseball.

GLENN: He said, Beck! And I’m like, you!

PAT: And the story gets worse.

GLENN: And he was really nice.

PAT: Great guy.

GLENN: Yeah. Really, really nice. Really nice guy.

PAT: They all were.

GLENN: We have to do something at 8/28 with these guys because they were really nice guys. But anyway, so he came over and he took a game bat and signed it.

STU: No!

PAT: And gave it to the guy who has the least amount of interest of anyone on planet Earth.

GLENN: And I grabbed it and I’m like, why is there maple syrup over all this?

PAT: Pine tar, Glenn. Pine tar.

GLENN: Everybody was like, don’t grab it!

PAT: Too late.

GLENN: Too late.

STU: That is an agonizing story.

PAT: Actual game bat from Albert Pujols.

GLENN: It was great. It was great. I can use it to torture Pat with now.

[NOTE: Transcript may have been edited to enhance readability – audio archive includes full segment as it was originally aired]