We all have bad days and bad moments.
Today was one of mine.
I stand by all of my comments on Sarah Palin EXCEPT when I called her a clown. It was unkind, childish and wrong of me to name-call.
What I should have said is this:
I don't know what she really believes. I don't think she is who I thought she was and haven't for some time.
When I saw her interview Donald Trump on her TV show I was stunned. Not that she interviewed him, but that she agreed with him and backs him.
I have seen her speak many times about many topics and I just don't understand her. But I am sure she doesn't agree or understand me often as well.
I haven't had a relationship with Sarah since about the time of the shooting of Gabby Giffords. Nothing to do with that at all, but it was around that time that she withdrew from me and my team and it was because, as Todd told me on the phone, "we have been told who our real friends are." I was stunned. I had backed her hard in every way I knew how. At that time I really believed in her and in fact I really believed she had the ability to change the world for the better.
While I have reached out since, we have not spoken in an any meaningful way since.
I don't know what they were told or by whom, but I can guess, as it most likely was the same person that tried to drive a stake through my relationship with Mark Levin and Sean Hannity and did for several years.
Thank God, I finally reached out to them, because I had been "told" things about them and they were the same lies that they were told about me.
Celebrity, fame and TV/radio are poison to humans, I believe. At least it has been to me. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
Two years ago, I realized that we were all going to lose our freedom if we didn't work together. That is when I reached out to Mark and Sean and the three of us had a very open and honest conversation. We all realized what we had all been told lies.
We are now all good friends and I support them 100%, even though we don't agree on every point. We all are doing our level best to save the republic and I will support them in every way, and they have been more than kind to me.
Sean and I disagree on Trump and have openly discussed our differences. We see him differently. Sean has a personal relationship with DT, which I believe either gives him clearer vision or blinds him. But he openly talks about his personal knowledge of Donald and why he believes him. I do not have that relationship and thus I either see clearly or I am blind because of it.
We are never going to agree on everything and it is unreasonable to think we would. As a libertarian, I don't expect to agree with everyone nor do I think it is good for society. It is the push and pull that makes us strong.
One of our problems as a nation is we have been told that if we disagree, we must view the other as a sell-out, traitor or worse. That is a dangerous lie.
Sean is smart and loves the nation and truth. So do I.
I have not reached out to Sarah for quite some time as I do not believe there is a repairable relationship, but I also have never said anything publicly or privately about her that I would regret until today.
She is not a clown. Obviously.
This, however, is the only thing I regret saying.
I do not understand her position and love of Trump. He is clearly a progressive, not a small government constitutionalist.
He was for the bailouts, he is for the idea that the government can just take private land from someone and give it to someone else because they will pay more taxes. Shameful.
There are so many warning signs, policy wise, that the size of the list is frankly shocking.
But he is also a bully, sexist, cruel, an ego-manic and narcissist in ways that make Barack Obama seem like Saint Francis.
He is so thin-skinned that he destroys anyone who crosses him. It should be noted that this is a trait held by some of the 20th century's greatest dictators and absolutely NOT something that I find comforting in a president.
As Sarah Palin holds a unique place with the Tea Party, I expect more from her. Perhaps this is wrong of me. To support Trump and ignore his very disturbing policies makes you a populist at best. But I am almost alone in this it seems. At least with almost anyone in my job. Maybe they all have a personal relationship with him or I am just wrong.
As I told her once off air, "you have a great power and while I'm not deeming you Spider-Man, with that power and pulpit comes great responsibility."
What principles that the Tea Party is founded on is she promoting with her love of Trump?
So how did I get from disagreement to "clown?"
My - unrighteous - anger came from her speech at the Iran rally.
I am at a point that I cannot see past the dying children at the hands of ISIS, and I truly believe that we are at a point of no return with God if we don't act now to stand for His principles.
I heard her speech after Donald's speech - his WAS a clown show - and I couldn't believe that this is how we are dealing with this issue.
This was wrong of me.
Who do I think I am by thinking that everyone should see this issue the same way or adopt the same approach?
It was wrong of me, but because I know she is religious - in a very real way - I again expected more from her.
So today, what you heard was a very old frustration that I have never voiced where I feel wrongly accused and judged by her and Todd which frankly is no one's business and should not have been discussed on air, at least not in the heat of a moment. That is my problem, not hers.
It was coupled with total confusion on her love affair with Donald Trump (made worse in my head by my lack of ability to grasp what 30% of small government, self-proclaimed constitutionalists and religious people see in him).
Coupled with his speech and combining hers with his in my head, coupled with my unwillingness to play the stupid "game" one second longer -- because I truly believe that we are at a point of choosing and the consequences are much more grave than ever before as God will not be mocked.
So, the truth is:
I don't have a relationship with her and most likely now never will. That is okay, she is not losing any sleep over this, I am sure.
We don't see eye to eye on things. That is okay but some of them are large ticket items.
I do hear her speak sometimes and I don't know what I saw in her. But, that is probably my fault because I probably projected many things that I wanted to believe she stood for.
With all of that said: none of that makes her a clown.
Saying what you mean and meaning what you say is a rough road to walk if you want to have lots of friends in powerful places. Especially if you are as weak in the restraint in the tongue as I am.
It may mean that I don't have a single listener left in the end, but I would rather be true to myself, principles and to my God than to parties, cliques or popularity. But I never want to lose anyone because I said something cruel or untrue.
I am okay with losing friends or popularity over the truth. What I am not okay with is spouting off in anger or frustration and being a poor example to my children.
That is where I owe Sarah Palin an apology. I was unkind and inaccurate.
It is really ironic, I am the one looking for and preaching unity.
I just held an event called restoring unity. But unity on principles. We don't all have to agree, but we do have to recognize the time and answer to a higher call.
In some cases it may even mean we lose an election. But I think it is high time we lose elections for what we believe and stand for. Not because we backed horses or policies that made us think we could win.
Featured Image: Former vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin addresses a rally against the Iran nuclear deal on the West Lawn of the U.S. Capitol September 9, 2015 in Washington, DC. Thousands of people gathered for the rally, organized by the Tea Party Patriots, which featured conservative pundits and politicians. (Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images)