GLENN: Hello, America. Welcome to the Glenn Beck Program. It is Friday. OJ Simpson has been granted parole. Now, he's not out. I didn't mean to panic everybody. He's not out until October. So if you are the real killer, man, you better hide because he's back. And this time, he's pissed.
PAT: He's going to go to even more golf courses looking for the real killer. Even more.
GLENN: Well, I'm not sure. How many golf courses -- how much money does this guy have left?
PAT: Well, there seems to be some discrepancy over that. Sports Illustrated reported that he has a pension, NFL pension of almost, like, $300,000 a year. So $25,000 a month. But ESPN reported last night --
JEFFY: I saw a report that it cuts it down in half. They did the numbers on it, and it's something like $10-12,000 a month.
JEFFY: I don't know. It's the way the pension works out.
STU: He has an ongoing salary that no one can touch. Money-wise, he's not going to have a problem.
GLENN: How can they not touch his pension?
STU: I don't know what it is. We were talking about it yesterday, and I was -- I did a really good job of just completely speculating with absolutely no fact on it. But doesn't it just seem the type of thing that the unions would fight for and get, like, you can't touch pensions if you've got a criminal into cell. To protect these things over time. I have no idea if that's where it started, but it's a stupid rule. I mean, if you commit a crime, and you -- or you have a large settlement, they should be able to come after your pension. It's your money.
GLENN: I don't want to see this guy out on the streets starving to death not being able to keep any of his money. But to have a pension that gives you, you know, $300,000 a year after you've beheaded two people.
STU: That's a good point.
JEFFY: I like how everybody just discounts that he was found innocent to that.
STU: Is it his money? No.
JEFFY: It should all go to the Goldmans. And the Browns.
STU: There's an exception for poverty level exception.
GLENN: Yeah, that's what I mean. You bring him down just below the poverty level. Okay. I would be happy if he was living at $60-70,000 a year. That's not poverty level. But he's living like that? For this guy to still be able to live high on the hog is obscene.
STU: It is. He made over $600,000 in prison.
STU: The pension keeps rolling in. And there's nowhere to spend it. So he's going to have plenty of money. He didn't do anything in prison. Like, his cell mates would make -- would clean and would make all the food for him. Because he would pay for all their -- I guess they have a convenience store, but they have a way to get some basic needs.
JEFFY: A commissary.
STU: A commissary. Thank you. And he would buy everybody -- his cell mates everything because he had plenty of money and they didn't have any money. He hired help inside prison.
JEFFY: That's amazing.
STU: That's a very Jeffy-esque scam right there.
PAT: How about what he said yesterday to the parole board? He said that he has lived a conflict-free life.
PAT: I'm not a guy who has lived a criminal life. I've been asked to mediate conferences in prison. And it gave me tools to use and walk these guys through instead of walking punches at one another. I always thought I was with people. But basically, I've spent a conflict-free life.
I wonder if we could ask Nicole about that.
STU: No, you can't.
GLENN: She's dead. She would have a hard time getting the air through her vocal cords.
PAT: Conflict-free. How many times did the cops come to his Rockingham house?
GLENN: A lot.
JEFFY: 10 or 15 people called the police on him.
GLENN: Let's just put OJ Simpson in the room with -- you're at a party, and there's only four people at the party. You. And you have to talk to someone. You can't leave. You, OJ Simpson, Mike Tyson, Bill Cosby. I head right to Bill Cosby.
PAT: Do you?
GLENN: Yes, I do. I don't drink anything.
PAT: Especially nothing he gives you.
GLENN: Yes. Yes.
GLENN: Why? Because I just have a feeling that Mike Tyson and OJ Simpson could kill me.
STU: He's 71 now, OJ?
JEFFY: Just 70.
STU: Now, he could probably still kill you, but a lot of people he would not be able to.
JEFFY: He looks good, though.
STU: He did. That's an interesting one --
GLENN: Those two could fly into rage. Those two are so unstable, they could fly into rage. And if one starts punching you, the other one's coming over to help.
STU: You might be right. Now, Tyson's embraced by Hollywood. He is now completely clear of -- by the way, he was the one of the three that was convicted of rape. He was convicted of a crime. But Bill Cosby was not. Neither was OJ Simpson. And that is true. Brush off the legal system, if you must. But that is the --
GLENN: No, the legal system means that legally you can go free. That there's a high bar. But that doesn't mean I have to believe it.
STU: Of course not. But it's amazing, though, one of these three has been embraced by Hollywood. One of these three --
GLENN: Possibly because one of the three paid their do you see for it. You know, once you go into prison, I have a better -- not with Mike Tyson. But I have a better time dealing with you if you go into prison, and you're, like, yeah, I did it. It was bad, but I paid my time. Okay. All right. I'll give you a second chance. Not with my daughter or me. But, you know, OJ Simpson, you know, he's told his friends he did it.
STU: Sort of. I mean, allegedly according to them.
PAT: According to them, he did it.
STU: I 100 percent believe you. But even if he didn't, it does seem that he committed domestic abuse.
GLENN: Do you want him as a neighbor?
STU: Oh, god, no.
STU: You said three people.
GLENN: Yeah, three people. Who would you rather go to?
PAT: I would rather go to OJ. He would have more interesting things.
GLENN: Bill Cosby could talk to you about pudding. He might have access to pudding there on the inside.
PAT: That is attempting. If he has pudding, then I'm going.
STU: Ingesting things from Bill Cosby, that's probably not a --
GLENN: I was just thinking about the drinks. That's a good --
PAT: What if there's only two people. Sean Penn and OJ Simpson?
JEFFY: Got to go to OJ.
PAT: I'm going to OJ.
GLENN: I'm going to Sean Penn.
STU: Sean Penn, obviously a Socialist and would be really annoying. But has some amazing stories, particularly of his relationships you might want to hear.
GLENN: Yeah, and not only that, there is something about Sean Penn that is -- I don't know. If a fire broke out or something, he's a little bit -- I think. He's a little bit like Tom Cruise. I don't want to spend time with Tom Cruise. But if there's trouble, Tom Cruise is, like, let's go get them.
PAT: I don't have that impression of Tom Cruise at all.
GLENN: Tom Cruise?
PAT: He would be good in a dark alley.
GLENN: Don't you remember all of those movies Tom Cruise is tracking down people on the street when there's a purse stolen.
PAT: I think you're talking about mission impossible 3.
GLENN: Tom Cruise is the do-gooder.
STU: He does all of his own stunts. I agree with you on cruise. I don't know if I see that on Sean Penn.
GLENN: I don't know. I mean, that's a -- you know, you want to -- arsenic or gun to the head? I don't know which one.
STU: Well, you could go interview that drug kingpin; right?
GLENN: How long am I in the room? Because at some point, I would have to go -- I would have to grab him by the shirt lapels and go you're so freaking stupid, man. What's wrong with you. Really? The drug guy and all of the dictators.
PAT: Loved Hugo Ch·vez. That's a no-brainer. I'm going to OJ every time.
GLENN: It might be hard. It would be hard.
STU: At least I could talk sports with OJ.
GLENN: That's the problem with me.
PAT: Yeah, you're not that.
GLENN: I can't with OJ.
PAT: If it's Justin Bieber and James Simpson.
STU: I'm all over Bieber on that one. He has some good stories.
PAT: You don't think OJ would have good stories? I think he would tell you.
JEFFY: If you became friends with OJ.
PAT: If you became close to him, he would tell you.
GLENN: Okay. On J Simpson or -- who's the tongue woman? The woman who the -- what's her name? She was a kid on Disney. Her dad was famous.
STU: Miley Cyrus.
STU: You keep putting these annoying celebrities against a murderer.
GLENN: I know. And I would go to the murderer before I would go to Miley Cyrus. Do you imagine having a conversation with Miley Cyrus?
PAT: Supposedly she has calmed down. She has gotten a grip on her life. Maybe.
JEFFY: That's what she said.
PAT: Chris Brown. What about the guy also a domestic abuser.
GLENN: Is she the guy who punched the --
STU: Yeah, my wife interviewed him before. Said he was delightful.
JEFFY: Must have not done anything that ticked him off.
GLENN: Sells HH homes.
STU: That's true. She interviewed him after he had his little incident with -- Rihanna, was it?
PAT: Yeah, it was.
GLENN: I don't know if you call someone knocking out in the elevator.
PAT: No, you're thinking of Ray Rice.
STU: She interviewed him, and it seemed he was doing great and trying this big come back, and then the next day, he was, like, punched a hole through the wall at Good Morning, America's, like, greenroom. Wow, I'm glad you didn't ask a really dumb question or something, because that could have gotten ugly.
JEFFY: That's what's going to happen with OJ and Mike Tyson too; right? At any moment, they could snap.
GLENN: OJ Simpson, that's why you don't have him living in the neighborhood. OJ Simpson, he's a guy who you just never know. You do one thing wrong, he'll snap.
STU: The terrorism is a good guy, though, for this because we always see this with -- there's a lot of Islamic extremists around the world. But almost all of the Islamic extremists that commit attacks are, like, between 18 and 40. So you get to the point that you're talking to a 70-year-old and that they're going to snap and do something, it's very unlikely.
GLENN: OJ Simpson so tied up inside, you can't cut people's heads off and deny it and be -- and go back and be, like, oh, you know, that's when I was younger. I made some really bad mistakes. That's battery acid inside of you. I don't -- there's got to be conflict in him like crazy. Either that, or he is even more of a sociopath than I think he is.
STU: There's a documentary called Shawshank Redemption in which Morgan Freeman did commit a crime when he was young.
STU: And then later on he was released and just fixing boats on a beach. That's how it turned out.
JEFFY: That's why I'm glad OJ is out. I don't want him to get institutionalized. That's what happened at Shaw shank.
GLENN: You guys know that's a Steven king novel; right?
STU: Actually, it was a -- I saw it on film.
GLENN: Okay. All right. Okay.