Was ‘Uncle Joe’ Biden the Best Choice for a Sexual Assault PSA?

Lady Gaga released a public service announcement last month about sexual assault, talking about her own experience as a survivor and reminding people to support and help victims in their own lives. Sounds great so far … but her decision to team up with former Vice President Joe Biden is a head-scratcher.

Biden has a well-documented history of infringing the personal space of women and girls in public with kissing, massaging and nuzzling, earning him the title of “creepy Uncle Joe.” In a time when men are being exposed left and right for assaulting, groping and harassing women, Biden is looking worse and worse.

“Joe Biden, We Need to Talk About the Way You Touch Women,” Gawker wrote in 2015. Daily Beast writer Erin Gloria Ryan was blunt this week with an opinion piece headlined “Dear Lord Would Joe Biden Be a Terrible Candidate for These Times.”

This article provided courtesy of TheBlaze.

DOC: Really? Really?

Joe Biden is doing a public service announcement against sexual harassment. Joe Biden, the former vice president is on a public service announcement talking about inappropriate behavior. No, no, no. Not promoting it. I mean, saying it's wrong. Never should you raise a hand to a woman, ever.

Joe creepy old man rubbing up on every woman he sees Biden is doing a public service announcement. Really? Really? You have lost your mind. He is doing it with Lady Gaga, because that makes a lot of sense too.

All right. Let me set the stage for you, before we play this quick public service announcement from Joe Biden. Joe Biden is seated in what looks like a hotel room with Lady Gaga. And she's rubbing his shoulder, and they're all close. And keep that in mind, that's what's actually happening, while they're saying this. Here's the public service announcement. Joe Biden and Lady Gaga.

JOE: I heard you're not only a great friend, but a fierce advocate. Lady Gaga has been the voice for people who have been forgotten, people who have been abused, until it happens to you.

Well, it happened to her. And she's shown enormous courage. And we want to make it real clear, it's on us. It's on everyone to intervene to stop abuse when they see it, and when they hear about it, to intervene. It's, no man has a right to raise a hand on a woman for any woman, other than self-defense, ever, period.

VOICE: And that's not to leave out the men as well. I am a sexual assault survivor, and I know the effects, the aftermath, the trauma, psychology, physical, mental. It can be terrifying.

DOC: Uh-huh.

VOICE: Waking up every day feeling unsafe in your own body. But we're here to remind you that it's important to reach out to someone in your life that you can trust, and to know that they will be there to help you. There will be someone to listen. Because you know what, it's on us.

(music)

DOC: Really?

What's next? Hillary launching a public service campaign about the dangers of Libya? Is that your next PSA? That's the next liberal PSA that's coming? Is Colin Kaepernick going to explain proper US flag code? Are Corrine Brown and William Jefferson teaming up for an anti-government corruption PSA? Is that what's coming tomorrow?

Joe Biden on a PSA discussing what is inappropriate behavior around women is like Harvey Weinstein in a campaign promoting carpal tunnel awareness and water conservation.

It's like Jeffrey Dahmer discussing the benefits of a vegan lifestyle. It's like Monica teaching proper techniques for laundering formal wear. Joe Biden warning against sexual harassment assault is like Al Franken warning against sexual harassment and assault.

It's like Larry Craig discussing the ills of public displays of affection. It's like Bill Cosby and George Takei promoting dating safety tips.

It's like John Boehner being against lobbying in DC. It's like Glenn Beck launching an anti-obesity campaign.

Did I take that too far? I think I took that too far. I took that too far.

VOICE: Yeah, yeah, yeah. You did.

DOC: I think I took it too far.

Really? I'm expected to believe Joe Biden in this? And other people are as well?

Where the hell are you progressives calling him out for this? It's not hard to find all of the inappropriate behavior.

Simply go to YouTube. Type in "creepy Joe Biden." Type in Joe Biden gropes kids. Joe Biden gropes women.

It's all over the place. He clearly has done things to make them feel uncomfortable. Touching them. Saying things that makes them feel uncomfortable. And he somehow gets a pass?

This is the problem. A lack of consistency. I don't care what you think about either side is where you fall, but if you are not being consistent from person to person, and situation to situation, and applying the same logic and beliefs in this, then you're part of the problem. But I got to disagree with crazy creepy Joe and Lady Gaga. This is not on all of us. It's not on all of us to prevent sexual assault. It's on the people who sexually assault.

You take responsibility for you. I will take responsibility for me. Don't blame everybody else. Don't blame society. Don't blame toxic masculinity or any other BS term you come up with. Blame the people responsible. Hold them accountable.

Let the punishment fit the severity and nature of the crime. And if they are punished, they're remorseful, they make amends, forgive them and move on.

These are not worse crimes. It's not worse now. This is not some liberating age, where we're finally getting beyond this. It is a witch hunt. Beyond just calling people out for doing bad.

By the way, when Lady Gaga said that, I couldn't help, but think, we're here in this hotel room to fight against sexual abuse and sexual assault. We're here, promoting the cause of women and how creepy people like Joe shouldn't be creeping up on women. In this hotel room, that's what we're doing. Join me on Twitter. It's @DocThompsonshow. Got a bunch of calls. We're stacking them deep. We're going to get to them next, on the Glenn Beck Program.

Somebody might want to check the temperature in hell, it might be just a tad chillier than normal.

If you missed Friday's episode of The Glenn Beck Program, you missed something you probably never thought you'd see in this timeline or any other. Glenn actually donned President Trump's trademark red "Make America Great Again" hat and laid out the case for why he thinks Trump will win in a landslide in 2020.

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Bottom line: Nancy Pelosi and the mainstream media may have pushed Glenn to this point, but believe it or not, Trump's record will make this next election a walk in the park for number 45. At this point, the sitting president has done enough to earn even Glenn's vote.

Glenn broke down what he thought were the 10 biggest campaign promises that — unlike those made by most politicians — Trump actually kept.

10. Impose a 10% repatriation tax to bring jobs back to America

Not all of Trump's promises were good ones, but regardless of what the consequences may be — he did keep this one.

"Now, I think this one is dangerous," Glenn said on radio Friday. "He did it. Ten percent. Bring all of your money back into the United States. It will create jobs. Yes. It will also create inflation. But it's creating jobs."

9. Withdraw from the Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP)

This has been one of Trump's most passionate issues.

"The stop the TPP. Uh-huh. Right. Sure you are. Uh-huh. Yes. He did," Glenn admitted.

8. Withdraw from the disastrous Paris Climate Accord

Glenn found himself eating crow on this.

"I'm on record saying he will never do that because his daughter is a huge global warming person and he only listens to the family. Eh. Wrong," Glenn said with a puff of crow feathers coming from his mouth.

7. Bring North Korea to the table and rein them in

This looked impossible. Not so.

"'I'm going to bring North Korea to the table.' Are you? Everybody has tried to do that," Glenn said. "Now, they're at the table. We don't know what's going to happen. So the result of that is unknown. But has anybody else done that?"

6. Stop over-regulation and jump-start the economy

It's the economy, stupid.

"Does anybody feel like America is beginning to get on track somewhat economically? You know why? Because he fulfilled another promise," Glenn said. "Stop over-regulating the American people. Give them their money. Give the companies the opportunity to expand and bring their money back into the country, and maybe they'll build buildings. Maybe they'll build offices. Maybe they'll build new products. Maybe they'll build new factories. Maybe they'll hire a bunch of people."

Glenn went on.

"Now, I know Seattle is trying to do everything they can to make sure everybody in their city is homeless and unemployed, but the rest of the country is enjoying the feeling of, wow, maybe things are going to be okay."

5. Reverse Obama's executive orders

If you're like Glenn, you've gotten used to politicians promising "no new taxes," but you can really tell they're lying if their lips are moving. Guess what? That's apparently not Trump.

"The executive orders? Yeah. He's reversed a lot of Obama's executive orders," Glenn said. "These are outrageous promises."

4. Pull out of the Iran nuclear deal

No big deal...

"'I'm going to cancel the Iran Deal.' Yep. None of these are small. You know, I've got maybe ten minutes. I think we can get that done in the first term. And they did," Glenn said.

3. Give tax cuts to middle-class Americans

Maybe this could have been better, but we'll take it.

"I don't like the tax cut. I think he could go a lot further," Glenn said. "But that's not even his job. His job is to sign things that Congress puts in front of him. Not to design it. You Republicans in Congress, you disgust me. You disgust me. 'Imagine what we could do if we had the House and the Senate and the White House.' I can imagine what you'll do — nothing. You'll do nothing."

2. Change strategy and defeat ISIS

The mainstream media have been radio silent on this.

"How about the president's — well, I know I can defeat ISIS. I know I can do it. I'll defeat ISIS. He did," Glenn said. "And did you notice no one in the press even talked about it? All of a sudden, we're not talking about ISIS anymore. How come? Oh, I know. President Trump. That's why."

1. Recognize Jerusalem as the capital of Israel and relocate the US embassy

This one is a true game-changer.

"Now, every president will say to you, when he's running, 'I'm going to make Jerusalem the home.' Well, really? The home of the embassy. Really, are you? Because everybody says that, nobody does it. He did it," Glenn said. "And I think that's going to go down as the biggest game-changer possibly in my lifetime. This is going — it already is — it is changing the game in Iran."

Glenn continued.

"And when it does, this president is going to come out and say something directly to those people, that we support them," he said. "And that's going to add fuel to the fire. And you might see a regime change and a collapse of the Islamic regime in Iran. And it will be 100 percent Donald Trump that made that responsible. One hundred percent. You're going to see changes because of this. He kept that promise. A promise I said, he's not going to do that. Nobody is going to do that. He did."

One chapter of ISIS has ended, but another may be starting

AHMAD AL-RUBAYE/AFP/Getty Images

For the most part, ISIS has fallen in Syria and Iraq. But before we celebrate the demise of this awful terrorist group, before we let our guard down, we should zoom out a bit, because ISIS is spreading. ISIS has largely just scattered out of the region as if someone turned on the kitchen lights and they scrambled.

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The Wall Street Journal spoke with Rohan Gunaratna, head of the International Center for Political Violence and Terrorism Research at the Nanyang University in Singapore. “Although Islamic State's ideology has suffered, it still has a huge potential," he told them. “Islamic State has entered a phase of global expansion, very much the same way al Qaeda extended globally in late 2001."

ISIS has spread into West Africa, and throughout much of Southeast Asia, and, as is typical of ISIS, they have done it violently, with a sick venom.

The world is their potential rubble, and their fight is endless.

Again, from the Wall Street Journal: “One chapter of ISIS has finished and another is beginning," said Hassan Hassan, a specialist on Islamic State at the Tahrir Institute for Middle East Policy in Washington. “Their resurgence is coming sooner than expected."

The world is their potential rubble, and their fight is endless.

'The Handmaid's Tale' got it right, just with the wrong religion

Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images

Just in case The Handmaid's Tale's heavy-handed message wasn't already heavy-handed enough, a recent episode made it clear there's always room for further hysteria. Particularly, in relation to depictions of a “patriarchal society" run by Christian doctrine and determined by men — oh those dastardly men.

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The show appropriates Margaret Atwood of the same name, depicting a totalitarian society led by Christian doctrine in which women's bodies are controlled, and they have no rights. The story sounds familiar, but not in the same way Atwood and the show's creators have so smugly assumed.

Just as tone-deaf as 4th wave feminism itself, and tone-deaf in all the exact same places. Most notably, the show's heavy-handed indignation toward Christianity. Toward the patriarchy. Toward conservatives and traditional values. And just like 4th wave feminism, the show completely overlooks the irony at play. Because there is a part of the world where women and children are being raped and mutilated. In fact, in this very real place, the women or girls are often imprisoned, even executed, for being raped, and they are mutilated in unspeakable ways.

Theirs is a cruel, bloody, colorless life.

There is a place, a very real place, where women are forced to cover their entire bodies with giant tarp-like blankets, which is all the more brutal given the endless heat of this place. There is a place where women literally have one-third of the rights of men, a place where women are legally, socially and culturally worth less than men.

They cannot drive cars. They cannot be outside alone. They cannot divorce, they cannot even choose who they marry and often, they are forcibly married at a young age.

They are raped. A lot. Theirs is a cruel, bloody, colorless life. This is the life of tens, perhaps hundreds of millions of women. And, I'll tell you, their religion isn't Christianity.

Science did it again. It only took 270 million years, but this week, scientists finally solved the mystery that has kept the world up at night. We finally know where octopuses come from: outer space. That explains why they look like the aliens in just about every alien movie ever made.

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It turns out octopuses were aliens that evolved on another planet. Scientists haven't determined which one yet, but they've definitely narrowed it down to one of the planets in one of the galaxies. Hundreds of millions of years ago (give or take a hundred), these evolved octopus aliens arrived on Earth in the form of cryopreserved eggs. Now, this part is just speculation, but it's possible their alien planet was on the verge of destruction, so Mom and Dad Octopus self-sacrificially placed Junior in one of these cryopreserved eggs and blasted him off the planet to save their kind.

This alien-octopus research, co-authored by a group of 33 scientists, was published in the Progress in Biophysics and Molecular Biology journal. I'm sure you keep that on your nightstand like I do.

Anyway, these scientists say octopuses evolved very rapidly over 270 million years. Which sounds slow, but in evolutionary terms, 270 million years is like light speed. And the only explanation for their breakneck evolution is that they're aliens. The report says, “The genome of the Octopus shows a staggering level of complexity with 33,000 protein-coding genes — more than is present in Homo sapiens."

Lucky for us, they landed in the water. Otherwise, we might be octopus pets.

They mention that the octopus' large brain, sophisticated nervous system, camera-like eyes, flexible bodies and ability to change color and shape all point to its alien nature. Octopuses developed those capabilities rather suddenly in evolution, whereas we're still trying to figure out the TV remote.

These biological enhancements are so far ahead of regular evolution that the octopuses must have either time-traveled from the future, or “more realistically" according to scientists, crash-landed on earth in those cryopreserved egg thingies. The report says the eggs arrived here in “icy bolides." I had to look up what a “bolide" is, and turns out it's a fancy word for a meteor.

So, to recap: a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, an alien race of octopuses packed their sperm-bank samples in some meteors and shot them toward Earth. Lucky for us, they landed in the water. Otherwise, we might be octopus pets.