GLENN: Okay. Stu, how do you expect anyone in the press or anyone in America to really understand the nuances of three other options, you know, when it comes to General Kelly and what he said?
GLENN: He gave you four options. One of them was he didn't care enough about their citizenship to get up off the couch. How could you expect that anyone could possibly follow four different things when you have this story?
A pair of New York Democrats have introduced a bill in the New York State Assembly that says it is necessary to combat the consumption of Tide pods. And so the bill requires the pods to be packaged in a uniform color to make them less appetizing.
STU: Less appetizing.
GLENN: Yes. They need to look less appetizing.
Teenagers -- not little 2-year-olds. Teenagers are eating Tide pods.
STU: And, again, you're talking about the packaged detergent that is colorful, and therefore looks appetizing.
GLENN: Yes. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Because it's colorful. I -- you know what --
GLENN: I say, make them look more appetizing.
STU: Make them look like hamburgers.
GLENN: Yeah. If it is in the laundry detergent -- I mean, first, how many parents can get their kids into the laundry room to do the laundry anyway? Okay. How many parents -- you have that.
So if they're in the laundry room and they're looking for something to eat, and they're like, that Tide pod looks good, you know, it's time for Darwin. It's time for Darwin.
STU: Yeah. This thing started like last year, when it was toddlers, right?
And so I know, as a parent of two young kids, we have Tide pods. We use them all the time. We make sure they were on a high shelf, especially when they were below the age we could communicate with them completely. Teenagers, you shouldn't have to do anything.
GLENN: Well, so here's the thing: They have to be packaged in a uniform color, so they look less appetizing. They also have to -- each type -- what?
Each Tide pod has to be individually wrapped in plastic, complete with a warning label.
So if we're talking about 2-year-olds, I don't think they're going to read the warning label.
I mean, General Kelly maybe should have added a fifth category, people that were too stupid to know how to even get out of their house.
STU: Is there not one Dreamer who has eaten a Tide pod? There has to be one.
GLENN: I don't know. How many people have eaten Tide pods?
STU: I mean, I feel like this is a little bit of the shark scare of 2001. Where they were like, oh, guys, there's lots of shark attacks. And then no.
STU: It's just like, how many has happened? Yeah, there are a few YouTube videos.
GLENN: In the entire world, there have been 80 cases. Eighty in the entire world.
STU: That's real? Oh, my gosh.
GLENN: Take line one. Patrick in Pennsylvania. Hello, Patrick, welcome to the program.
CALLER: How are you doing, Glenn?
GLENN: I'm pretty good. How are you?
CALLER: Not bad. I broke a rib on that last segment. The Tide pods.
GLENN: The Tide pods. Have you eaten any Tide pods lately?
CALLER: No, I haven't.
GLENN: Yeah. Yeah. Well...
CALLER: I'm calling in regards to, Glenn, what the president said about having a military parade.
CALLER: And my thoughts on it is that, you know, we've had that before. I could see them doing a patch and review (phonetic) with the troops. But if we start bringing out our military hardware, that looks like something we've seen in the past. I really don't think we should go down that road.
GLENN: You know, Patrick, I'm going to give you my opinion on that here in a second. But I think you're -- you have a very unpopular position right now, at least on social media, if you're a conservative.
But I say --
CALLER: I am a conservative.
GLENN: I say, Matt, stand tall in that. I think you're exactly right. And I'll tell you my opinion coming up in a second.
Stu is lost in thought. I can see it on Tide pods still.
STU: Yeah, we can't leave the Tide pod thing. This is too important.
Because, again, my instinct was, this is kind of like one of those overblown controversies. But I did not know the actual facts on it.
GLENN: The 80. Yeah.
STU: And you said there was only 80 people --
GLENN: Yeah. According to the American Association of Poison Control Centers.
STU: Well, that's an extreme source.
GLENN: Now, this is -- in case you just tuned in.
Yeah, I know. If you just tuned in, New York Democrats have introduced a bill in the state assembly that say it's necessary to combat the consumption of Tide pods, so Tide has to package in a uniform color, as well as requiring each Tide pod to be individually wrapped in plastic, complete with a warning label.
They said that people don't understand the danger associated with swallowing commercial cleaning products.
If you're that stupid at 15, Darwin needs to ring your doorbell. It's time for the tails to fall off.
Now, they say these -- these state senators say they look appetizing to some people because of their colorful design.
STU: Insinuating that it's a mistake. They just see yummy detergent and can't help themselves.
GLENN: Red. It must be ketchup.
GLENN: According to the American Association of Poison Control Centers, there have been 80 cases of intentional misuse of Tide pods reported in 2018, up from 53 cases in all of 2017.
STU: So 133 cases in the last --
GLENN: Two years.
STU: Yeah. We're not done with this year yet. But a year and a change, 133 cases.
GLENN: Yeah, but that's an epidemic, when you look at that there's 7.6 billion people on the planet. This is an epidemic.
STU: No, it's not. This is a great example of progressivism.
GLENN: Isn't it? Oh, yeah.
STU: Here it is. You have -- again, and what was the word? Can you give me that sentence one more time?
GLENN: Yeah. Over 80 cases of intentional misuse of Tide products reported so far.
STU: Ah! So that's not someone who mistakes it for a delicious product and eats it. That is intentional misuse.
GLENN: Well, I want you to know, even if it's intentionally used, according to the American Association of Poison Control Centers, the child poisoning -- and I use the word child. When it's a 15-year-old, I use the word child loosely.
The number of cases of child poisoning due to Tide pods that are reported every year is, quote, not out of line with other similar household products, which strongly suggests that the product is not objectively more dangerous to children, due to its packaging or colorful design.
STU: Well, yeah, because the only thing that the colorful design would theoretically do is have someone eat it unintentionally.
GLENN: Listen to you. Listen to you.
STU: They would say, hey, that looks like a breath mint and eat it, right?
But this is saying, it's intentional misuse. Meaning, kids that are 15, 16 years old, are going on YouTube to make their friends laugh and you do a dare.
GLENN: No. You just don't -- look, look, let me quote the senators. We want to make sure that these poisonings are prevented. And it's easy. All we have to do is make sure that public safety trumps the corporate profit.
STU: Right. Because Tide is saying, we don't care about those 80 people who are intentionally misusing our product because it's blue and orange.
GLENN: No. Let me tell you what Procter & Gamble has said.
STU: Oh, they finally came out. Did they admit it?
GLENN: They responded.
They said, there are studies which have shown that colorful packaging does not increase the risk of child ingestion of dangerous products. Additionally, requiring an additional layer of plastic wrapping around the pods would have detrimental environmental effects, as well as creating other possible ingestion hazards for children.
STU: Democrats. Right.
Seriously, I bet it would cause more problems because the parents would rip the thing off. One would drop on the floor, and some toddler would eat the plastic, which does not look appetizing. It's a toddler.
GLENN: It's a toddler.
Finally, consumers have a choice, those who prefer single-colored pack can use Tide Free & Gentle, which is all white.
STU: So they already have a product that is one color, already available on the market.
GLENN: No, no. And what do you do when it snows? You go outside, and kids eat snow. They think it's notice, Stu. They think it's snow.
Fifteen-year-olds will think it's snow. Tide is also available in a liquid and powder product form.
STU: So you don't have to buy --
GLENN: So is cocaine, Procter & Gamble.
STU: So you're not legally required to purchase Tide pods?
GLENN: No, you're not.
STU: Oh, my gosh. I thought you were.
GLENN: No. And they have other options.
STU: I thought it was like, you know, health insurance, where I was legally required to purchase it until recently.
GLENN: Procter & Gamble said, ensuring the safety of people who use our products is fundamental to everything we do at Procter & Gamble. However, even the most stringent standards and protocols, labels and warnings, cannot prevent intentional abuse, fueled by poor judgment and the desire for popularity. End quote.
But why care about any of that? I mean, the FDA was created because cocaine was in Coca-Cola. The only problem is, Coca-Cola at the time said, no, in 1880, it was. It hasn't been in Coca-Cola for 20 years. The government still said, there's cocaine in Coca-Cola.
So Coca-Cola, through the court, was tested at an independent laboratory, and it was shown that there was no cocaine in Coca-Cola.
And what did Theodore Roosevelt, a Republican say? It doesn't matter. Public safety is first.
But wait. There's no public hazard, really, here.
This is -- this is progressivism 101.
STU: Typical is.
GLENN: It really is.
STU: It's a great example of it. They have to protect you from eating detergent. Now, of course, every green product --
GLENN: No, you don't. You don't. You don't. Even Procter & Gamble doesn't have to do that.
How is it the human race survived for as long as it did -- we have -- I remember when I think there was like 4 billion people on the planet. There's now 7.6 billion. And we're the only ones that has all of these problems with Tide pods. We're the only ones that need the little label that says, don't use snowblower on roof.
No, they don't have any of that crap in China. And yet, we're 7.6 billion people and growing strong. So we are doing so well, that there are people now trying to say, you got to slow down the population explosion.
We've got to stop it. The same people who are worried about overpopulation are the same people who are trying to save all the dummies from eating Tide pods. Never in the history of the world have people been so stupid, that they needed a little parent gate around absolutely every mud puddle. You better put a pool fence around that. That's a pretty deep mud puddle. Somebody could fall and actually put their face -- just fall. They're completely dry, everywhere, except that 1-inch puddle, where their face falls directly in it. And they're going to be stupid enough to lay there, because there's no sign that says, take face you off puddle. What are we doing, man? What are we doing?
Honestly, I'm beginning to pray for AI. It will be nice to have an intelligent conversation, even knowing that the end of the conversation is, you guys are too stupid to live. I'll take that one.