GLENN: We have Steve Doocy on the phone from Fox and Friends. Hello, Steve.
DOOCY: Hey, Mr. Beck, how are you doing?
GLENN: Very good. I feel like I know you because when I drive in, I listen to you every morning.
DOOCY: Shouldn't you be concentrating on the people who are trying to squeegee your window?
GLENN: It's coming back, I'm sure, with you we done have that anymore.
DOOCY: I'm talking about those guys from Lehman Brothers.
GLENN: It's weird, isn't it, all of the stuff that is going on? I drive by Lehman Brothers every day and they used to have that big, the whole side of the building was, you know, lit up and everything and now it's -- you know, it's a ghost town. It's bizarre, isn't it?
DOOCY: These are challenging times. I mean, it would be easy just to get up in the morning and not actually get up. No reason to leave the bed because look at what is going -- I mean, have you -- tell me the truth, Glenn. Have you looked at your 401(k) or any sort of a statement from a big house that keeps your money?
GLENN: Well, I actually have been on the air for two years saying this was coming. So I actually was in a position to not lose any money.
GLENN: But I was with -- I mean, you can count those people on, you know, one hand.
DOOCY: No, you know what? I'm a lot like you. We've got, just like you at your place, we've got a lot of people saying, look, this can't go up all the time; you're going to have to bail out, be in cash. And so you know, I got really defensive.
GLENN: Did you really?
DOOCY: Sure, absolutely. I have a lot of cash, and it's burning a hole in my pocket.
GLENN: Hear that all the time. Joe the plumber's talking about, I've got a lot of cash.
DOOCY: Oh, you know what? Speaking of Joe the plumber, you know, who -- you know how a lot of people with their debate parties, they have those drinking games where if you -- the first time McCain says "My friend," you've got to do a shot of something? Or the first time Obama says, you know, the wheels of the Straight Talk Express are coming out, you do a shot. Whoever picked Joe the plumber as the word for the drinking game.
GLENN: Yeah, you were hammered in the first five minutes. You were just hammered. You may have died from alcohol poisoning last night. What do you -- Steve, what do you think is -- what do you think's going to happen in this?
DOOCY: I don't know. Everybody said McCain had to step up to the plate and he had to talk about the relationships with Ayers and ACORN and stuff like that, and he did.
GLENN: I don't think he did a good job of it.
DOOCY: Well, he mentioned it, but he just didn't -- I know he's mavericky, but he did not look -- he did not look comfortable doing it. I think he's -- you know, he's got a code of conduct. He's a military man from way back, and I just don't know that it's in his soul to do that kind of stuff. It just seemed -- didn't it just seem like --
GLENN: What is in his soul that he wants to do, do you think?
DOOCY: Look, I think he's a man of honor and this is something new. You know, they were very direct talking about this kind of, it's a rough-and-tumble business sort of a thing.
GLENN: Do you think it's dishonorable to bring up somebody's -- look, I mean, you know, look, I don't care --
DOOCY: No, I don't.
GLENN: I mean, so why would he have a problem with that? I mean, a man of honor, if he loves his country -- and I know he does, and I know both of them do.
GLENN: They just see the country in a different way. If you really love your country, it's dishonorable not to bring it up and say, look, you've got a guy, you've got several people in your life that are Marxists, they are Marxists. And Senator Obama, I'm sorry, but Joe the plumber, what you were saying to him, is Marxism. So don't talk to me about what he did at 8 years old. Tell me your pivot point where you thought, "Well, Marxism is a good idea or Marxism isn't a good idea.
DOOCY: Yeah, I know. I am with you completely on that but I wish -- I'm with you. I wish he would have gone a little further. You know, he got about halfway through the argument and then just --
GLENN: Petered out.
DOOCY: And stopped, petered out, exactly right. I wish he would have brought out Reverend Wright. I still don't get why Reverend Wright is not something to go after him about.
GLENN: Especially, again with Marxism.
GLENN: The philosophy of the Trinity church, look on their own website, is Marxism.
DOOCY: I know. Did you see -- and I'm sure you did because you see everything. Yesterday or the day before a reporter --
GLENN: I think you are making fun of me.
DOOCY: No, you just do see everything, when you're shopping online. Did you see a couple of days ago the Chicago Tribune sent a reporter out to the university where this Bill Ayers guy is a professor and he said -- the reporter said, "So what would you like to say?" And he goes, I have nothing to add. Then he goes, "Life happens." Really, he has nothing to add? You know, I think he has a lot to add. He could add, what exactly do you think Barack Obama realized the extent of your history of trying to blow stuff up? When -- you know, I want to know about the friendship or if there was one.
GLENN: I just want to know, you know, Barack Obama -- and I haven't seen anybody take this one apart yet, that Barack Obama said last night that he didn't go over to William Ayers' house and launch his campaign. There's -- I mean, CNN and Anderson Cooper had that piece on where the Obama campaign is saying, that's not true, that's not true. Anderson Cooper and CNN said it was true!
DOOCY: Well, I wonder if he was parsing because maybe that particular thing wasn't the kickoff?
GLENN: If you want to play the typical politician game.
DOOCY: They do, they do.
GLENN: But we should call people out on it. You know, with all the things that are going on, Steve, you know, the Tales from the Dad Side is your new book. Has it come out yet?
DOOCY: It came out this week. Thank you for asking.
GLENN: And I don't know about you but I mean, you've got a perfect timing for it. I have -- this particular weekend, in fact, I was thinking to myself, you know, nobody knows who to trust and it's right there on our money, in God we trust.
GLENN: We've lost our trust and our faith in God, and when you do that, it comes pack to our family. I think we're on the verge of realizing that a financial 9/11 has happened to us and when we do, we'll bring our families, bring our families back together. Is there anything more important than being a dad to you?
DOOCY: Well, you've got a good point because we know that jobs can be capricious. I mean, look at those guys at Wall Street: "I think this job's going to last forever." A lot of those guys don't work for those firms anymore and a lot of them suddenly are going to be working for the government. And at the end of the day what do you always have? You've always got your wife, your husband, you've got your kids and your relatives.
GLENN: Get rid of your relatives. You know what I mean? Just stop answering the phone.
DOOCY: Fine, look at the bad side. You got in-laws, too.
GLENN: I have caller ID. So... "Hello? I'm sorry, they don't live here anymore."
DOOCY: With my in-laws it's not caller ID. I just got a red siren that just starts. It's like a beacon. It starts flashing on top of the princess phone in the den.
GLENN: I'm painting my house camouflage. You have two kids in college, don't you?
DOOCY: I do. I've got one out at Villanova and one up in Boston.
GLENN: What, are you crazy? What's their exact address? What are you doing, man?
DOOCY: I'm not going to tell you -- well, actually my son's been on the show talking about the particular school he goes to and I'm not going to mention where my daughters go. So I've got three kids: Peter, Mary, Sally, or as we refer to them for family archival purposes, P, M, S. Peter, Mary, Sally. No, it's true.
GLENN: How unbelievably appropriate.
DOOCY: It just happened that way.
GLENN: There's a chapter in your book that I love about taking your kids to college and trying to figure out and, you know, jeez -- please, please don't do this, please?
DOOCY: I will tell you, I mean, it is a funny book because times are tough and we need to laugh about something. And the book does start with the birth of my son Peter and goes right up to where I tried to pay for college with bonus miles and that never worked well. But I will tell you, Glenn, that the hardest thing as a parent who worries about his kids, the hardest thing to say in the English language is "Goodbye" because when you cart them off to college and their entire life history is contained in some Tupperware or Rubbermaid containers and a whole great big pyramid of cheesy crackers and water from Costco, that is -- you have just downloaded from the family station wagon in front of their dorm, when you say goodbye and you look in the rearview mirror as you pull out and that is as hard a moment as you'll have.
GLENN: You know, I think there's only one time that I cried more on that day, or more than that day and I think it's when the phone rang and my daughter said, "Dad, I'm moving back in."