GLENN BECK PROGRAM
GLENN: All right, let me go to Brian Whitman, who is a very good friend of mine, in fact, one of my best friends and one of my -- probably my best liberal friend.
BRIAN: Oh, isn't that sweet.
GLENN: I don't have a lot -- I'm not really close to liberals. You know what I mean? So you being my best liberal friend is like we know each other in passing.
BRIAN: Yeah. But, you know, we liberals, we're like wolves. We travel in packs.
Brian Whitman, visit his website here...
BRIAN: When we liberals get together to discuss, you know, impeachment and all these things.
BRIAN: The consensus is that we like you. I mean, liberals actually like you. I think you miss that. That a lot of -- certainly I can't speak for all liberals. I can certainly speak for myself and for many who I know. We actually like you because we find you less irritating, we find you less pompous.
BRIAN: -- than some of the other social commentators on the social conservative side.
GLENN: Now, let me tell you something, Brian.
GLENN: I think that I don't like you any more than most liberals because what you just said is very, very condescending. You are all sitting in judgment of us.
BRIAN: Well, of course we are, as you do us.
GLENN: But it doesn't count.
BRIAN: A 300-pound prostitute on a bike?
GLENN: What did you say?
BRIAN: May I quickly say about the 300-pound prostitute on a bicycle. That whore needs a Vespa because I have found that you can really get around a lot quicker on a Vespa than a traditional bicycle. What is it, like a Schwinn? I mean, do we have a 300-pound fatty wearing denim? And by the way, denim, definitely the fabric you want to wear if you're 300 pounds.
GLENN: And in Florida.
BRIAN: Yeah. Does the bike and the denim and the heat and the schmitzing, that's got to slow you down.
GLENN: Yeah, that's good stuff. That's good stuff.
BRIAN: Thank you. I just prepared that while I was on hold.
GLENN: Hey, Brian, I wanted to ask you about the Obama/Bloomberg meeting that's happening today.
BRIAN: Yes. Find it very interesting.
GLENN: Yeah. Do you, by the way, in case you don't know, Brian is the voice guy. Do a little Al Gore for us.
BRIAN: Well, I just want to say that I believe we need to -- we need to not use aerosol spray cans. We need to use a pump.
GLENN: All right. So he does our voices on the program and we're having him work on a Christmas thing for us right now.
BRIAN: I'm very excited about that.
GLENN: Yeah. So we were talking --
BRIAN: Nothing better than Christmas like bashing liberals. Hello?
GLENN: No, I'm dreaming of a green Christmas.
BRIAN: I know you are. Sure you are.
GLENN: I really am.
BRIAN: By the way, can I ask you very quickly? I know we have a lot to get to.
BRIAN: You are in Orlando and --
GLENN: No, I'm not in Orlando. I'm in West Palm.
BRIAN: Oh, forgive me. You're in West Palm. Forget it then.
GLENN: It's the one that is, it doesn't have the amusement park but it does have all of the clowns. Remember them, counting the votes over and over and over again?
BRIAN: Right. No, look. When I think West Palm, I think fair vote counts and I think most people on my side think Florida, yeah, they got it down. They count their votes.
GLENN: Yeah, they do actually. But that's a whole different story.
So this Obama meeting with Bloomberg.
BRIAN: Well, it's odd and intriguing because the first thing I thought, Glenn, when I saw the story was, is Barack Obama trying to get Mike Bloomberg ready to accept some sort of vice presidential nomination because, of course, Mike Bloomberg has been talked about as an Independent candidate, the mayor of New York City who I admire and think has been a fine mayor I think would be a great Independent candidate for President.
GLENN: Do you have any idea -- do you have any idea what Mike Bloomberg would do to our Second Amendment?
BRIAN: Well, you know, Glenn, I'm sitting here in my office surrounded by firearms and I mean, I've just got a ton of them.
GLENN: Well then, you know what that means? You are not calling me from New York City.
BRIAN: Look, here's the deal. Here's the deal.
BRIAN: Ronald Reagan I think said, if I agree with you 80% of the time, you're my friend.
BRIAN: So, you know, --
GLENN: No, but you know what, we can be friends and agree on 80% of the stuff, you are exactly right. If you only agree on 80% of the Constitution, are you --
BRIAN: We've got problems.
GLENN: I mean, are you an American that likes the Constitution?
BRIAN: Mayor Bloomberg again, as Rudy Giuliani, Rudy Giuliani said in the debate the other night, and I know you saw it and I know you heard it right there on CNN. Rudy Giuliani said --
GLENN: Rub it in.
BRIAN: -- gun laws in New York, gun laws in New York City might be different than the gun laws, say, in Texas or Ohio or Sarasota.
GLENN: Wait, wait, hang on just a second. Are you doing Rudy Giuliani's lisp? Is that what's happening here?
BRIAN: I certainly am. And if you would expect a voice guy to avoid a lisp, you are living in a parallel universe. I mean, the man lisps, I mean, it's out of control.
GLENN: So --
BRIAN: So basically I stringently enforce the gun laws in New York City because we had 10,000 felonies a minute and we had 75,000 rapes every 72 hours. So basically Rudy Giuliani, a very popular candidate with many conservatives, has a very similar policy toward gun control.
GLENN: Yeah. Well, if he's popular, then he must be right. So what I was thinking is, Brian, I wanted to get a feel from you, and I agree the Obama/Bloomberg thing, that absolutely -- well, I mean, that's the candidacy for, you know, for the death of our country. But I think that's what they're talking about at breakfast and happy time. You know, hopefully they are having a Grand Slam breakfast at Denny's.
BRIAN: But what Mike Bloomberg should say to Barack Obama is this: "Senator, I appreciate the offer to be vice president but you've got to know I have about $3 billion and if I want to just pull a few bills off the top of the pile, I could bury you." He should say that to him. But that would make --
GLENN: Just like that? Yeah, but that doesn't sound threatening at all.
BRIAN: No. And after that he says, "And we'll have the French toast." Yeah.
GLENN: So who are you voting for?
BRIAN: Well, you know, I have not yet decided. If the primary were today or was today, I would vote for -- I tell you who I really like. I like two candidates very much.
GLENN: This is going to hurt our friendship -- oh shall jeez, for the love of Pete. The guy channels people. He channels people from the dead. He stands in front of courtrooms and says, I'm sensing -- what is it? I'm feeling -- I'm sensing this dead 3-year-old girl. She's saying to me, "Please, please, award a big huge punitive damage, write a giant check."
BRIAN: Yeah, he does the James Bond Prague impression for the audience -- for the jury.
Look, you know as well as anybody that people are entitled to a defense and John Edwards provided that many times for people who deserved it. I like John Edwards and forget about -- you know, stop it with eight years ago or four years ago. He was a trial lawyer. So what. They are all lawyers. I like John Edwards.
GLENN: That's the problem. I think they should -- I think lawyers should stop going to Washington.
BRIAN: But you know who I really like.
GLENN: Oh, boy.
BRIAN: Who I sent money to and I've been checking the polls, it has not dramatically shifted.
GLENN: Ed Asner?
BRIAN: I like Joe Biden. I do. I'm one of the 2%. I overlook the hair plugs and I take the spin on that foreign policy exchange.
GLENN: Can I ask you something, Brian? How much medication are you on?
BRIAN: I'm on a lot.
GLENN: All right, good. That explains.
BRIAN: I mean, that's an honest answer. I mean, if -- would you like a list?
GLENN: No, that's all right. No, it just explains the Joe Biden thing. A lot of medication.
BRIAN: Let me understand for a moment. A man who has served in the United States Senate since 30 years old, with unbelievable, unrivaled foreign policy knowledge and experience to support him for President in this unprecedented time, I would have to be hopped up on meds.
BRIAN: Are you a nut?
GLENN: No, I'm not the one on Lithium.
BRIAN: I'm not on Lithium and that's how rumors are started. I'm on Wellbutrin and I'm on a massive dose.
GLENN: Like there's a Brian Whitman rumor windmill. Oh, hang on, the bloggers are going after him right now.
BRIAN: Oh, why? Leave me alone, people, please. At some point the other side must be heard. I'm on Wellbutrin and you know what? Post it. Call me Wellbutrin boy. I don't care. I'll tell you what I'm on. I'm on the maximum dosage allowed by law, 450 milligrams. And let me tell you something else, Glenn. Sometimes I just stop taking it.
BRIAN: I go into the psychiatrist's office.
BRIAN: And I lie to him and I tell him I'm still taking it.
GLENN: And here's what happens.
BRIAN: Because I'm afraid --
GLENN: Here's what happens. He knows because he looks at you and says, you're off your Wellbutrin. And you say, how do you know? And he says, because you're starting to make sense! You're starting to say, I don't know, maybe I could go a little conservative!
BRIAN: Well, you know, look. If Rudy Giuliani, not that he's a conservative, but if Rudy Giuliani is nominated by your party, I would have --
GLENN: Not my party, brother.
GLENN: Not my party, brother. I'm done with both of them.
BRIAN: You are now.
GLENN: You know why? Because when our party sells us out and sells the principles down the tubes, we say, yeah, you don't represent us. We don't just keep hanging on going, okay, they're screwing us left and right. But hey, we're still a Republican.
BRIAN: Right, you and Lou Dobbs can throw a convention. Rudy Giuliani, I would have to look long and hard at that. I grew up with mayor Giuliani, I support his reelection, didn't vote for him the first time.
GLENN: Hang on just a second. Brian, Brian, Brian.
BRIAN: Democrats, that's all there is to it.
GLENN: There are people that listen to this show.
BRIAN: I know that. A lot of them.
GLENN: I know. That support Rudy Giuliani. And right now they are screaming in the car, Glenn, shut this guy up. He's hurting our case.
BRIAN: Can I say something to those people?
BRIAN: And it's really important. The media ignores it and it's really important. Those who are listening to the Glenn Beck program right now, who are conservative Rudy Giuliani supporters, here's what you don't know. When Rudy Giuliani ran for mayor of New York City, and I know because I was doing a radio show there, I was there. Rudy Giuliani was the candidate of the New York State liberal party. So as you drive around and you think about conservative Rudy Giuliani who talks about guns and all of it, understand --
GLENN: Hold on.
BRIAN: I was just going to ask, why was he the liberal party candidate.
GLENN: Hold on. Brian, now you've got members of my audience that are conspiracy freaks who are now starting to say, wait a minute, I was against Rudy Giuliani but the liberal guy is on saying that; it must be some sort of a conspiracy. Why is he saying that?
BRIAN: I've made it all up. Yeah, I've made it all up. I called in to lie to you today.
GLENN: Let me ask you this, Brian. You are actually in my book. Have you read the book yet?
BRIAN: You know what, Glenn, I've been checking the mailbox for the autographed copy which has not arrived which was, of course, --
GLENN: How can I -- how is it -- you know what? Good friends of mine, Ted Bell, Brad Thor, Vince Flynn, I go out and buy their books. I go out and buy their books. Oh, no, I don't want your pity $26 now.
BRIAN: You don't get it, damn it. I learned this morning that I'm in your book. And I'm honored. I'm honored.
GLENN: Well, you would have known last week. You would have known last week. He's actually in the book because I talk about how media just never gets it right and we use the example with you and Don Imus.
BRIAN: Yes, this was a remarkable story. This happened, of course, last year when Don Imus was fired and was under all sorts of criticism for what he said about the Rutgers female basketball team.
GLENN: And by the way, he's back on the air in New York on Monday. He starts on Monday back in New York. But anyway.
BRIAN: And I was listening to Imus and following all of this, and I do a nighttime radio show in Los Angeles. I'm not a big star like you, Glenn. I go on for three hours with my co-host Tim Conway, Jr., the son of the legendary Tim Conway, and we were talking about Imus impression and I said, why don't you call me as Imus. So I went on the other room and I got on the phone and, of course, the audience believed it was Imus. Here's what he said, Tim questioned and said, are you going to retire, is it over for you, Imus? And I said almost verbatim: My gosh, no, I'm not going to retire. What are you, a moron? I'm not going to sit around like an old woman. And the Los Angeles Times printed that Don Imus appeared on the radio and said he wouldn't sit around like an old woman. I mean, these are reporters who research that story.
GLENN: Well, you know, the reporters seemed to -- I don't know if they know Google search yet.
BRIAN: But they printed a retraction.
GLENN: That's great. And was it as big a retraction as it was a story?
BRIAN: No, the story was bigger.
GLENN: What a surprise.
BRIAN: And I didn't mean to fool them. I wasn't trying to fool anybody, but they thought it was the I man.
GLENN: Yeah. Well, all right, Brian --
BRIAN: I'm not going to sit around like an old woman, for goodness sake. I mean, my God.
GLENN: What do you suppose he's been doing and what do you think the show's going to sound like on Monday?
BRIAN: Well, I think --
GLENN: Do you think he's changed at all?
GLENN: Do you think he's changed at all?
BRIAN: I think for a while he might tread softly, but I think the real victim in all of this is his wife Deirdre because when she signed on to marry the I man, she pretty much was convinced that he would be out of the house for, like, seven or eight hours a day and she's had for the last, you know, four or five months the I man 24/7.
BRIAN: And I don't know that anyone could take that.
BRIAN: But he's very supportive of her. I heard him on the radio promoting her cookbook and he referred to it this way, and I hope I don't offend anybody: "My wife Deirdre, she's published a book, a cookbook. I mean, it's just a retarded book."
GLENN: Well, that's the kind of -- if that's the kind of support, well, that's the kind of support I do get from my friends for my books. So I appreciate it.
BRIAN: That's not very nurturing.
GLENN: All right. Brian, we'll talk to you again soon. Thank you very much. All right, bye-bye.
GLENN: And listen. Another 400 milligrams and all those Joe Biden fantasies will go away.