Glenn Beck: Untimely Demise


In the Event of My Untimely Demise

by Brian Sack

GLENN: Brian Sack is the author of In the Event of My Untimely Demise that's out in paperback now."

MR. SACK: Apparently my cordless phone does not have a gift.

GLENN: Yeah, you have a big fat face that

MR. SACK: Yeah.

GLENN: Yeah.

MR. SACK: But on the other thing, aside from hanging up in the middle of phone interviews, you did teach me valuable things like getting the title out there, talking about what's in the book, trying to get people to read it in the event of my untimely demise.

GLENN: Sure. And it's actually a very funny book and honestly it's something that I thought about killing you and then just taking the manuscript and

MR. SACK: Stealing it.

GLENN: Republishing it under my name.

MR. SACK: Yeah, because you'd get a better deal probably.

GLENN: Well, sold Moore books.

MR. SACK: You've got what they call the platform, you've got the platform which is the way to sell the book. I don't have the platform. I've got Twitter.

GLENN: Yeah, so that's

MR. SACK: Hey, everybody, I'm on Twitter.

GLENN: Okay. So Brian Sack, you know, we're trying to say that I have a gift, and I think you hit it out of the park.

MR. SACK: Right.

GLENN: I think you said that with

STU: Yeah, but he did not say it quietly, though. That is in the quote is you are supposed to say it quietly with deep humility.

MR. SACK: I can do it again because when it comes to acting, I have a gift.

GLENN: See, that doesn't sound humble. Did that sound humble?

STU: No, it did not.

MR. SACK: Didn't sound humble, right.

STU: That was just normal humility, not deep humility.

GLENN: So Brian, in the event of my untimely demise, it's a letter to your son?

MR. SACK: Yes, in the event of my untimely demise, like if I were to get swine flu or something.

GLENN: Like what?

MR. SACK: If I were to get swine flu or SARS or any of the flus.

GLENN: Are you teaching your kids about the swine flu?

MR. SACK: I want them to know that every six to twelve months the media needs to harp on something and it's usually a virus and that, you know, he needs to know to get all freaked out and then eventually it will go away and something weird will happen and there will be a new story like, you know, one of the Jonas Brothers will fall down and scrape his knee.

GLENN: You think that's what's going to replace the swine flu?

MR. SACK: Yes.

GLENN: Yeah.

MR. SACK: I'm putting my money on that.

GLENN: Let's say your kid has a cough or something like that but he also has a birthday party that he really wants to go to.

MR. SACK: Right.

GLENN: Do you send him or

MR. SACK: Well, what you do if he's coughing and you want to send him to the party and kind of disguise the flu? Is that what you're saying?

GLENN: I'm just sayin', yeah, might be a good idea.

MR. SACK: If he's coughing heavily, you can claim that he just auditioned for my littlest American Idol and that he's just kind of hoarse. If he seems sweaty, whatever you just claim, that he just ran a children's marathon.

GLENN: A children's marathon?

MR. SACK: Right. And if he's very sleepy, you say you were up all night partying with your kid.

GLENN: I don't think these are really good, I don't think these are are you at all concerned about your untimely demise with the swine flu there?

GLENN: I guess I should say yes, that everyone should rush out and get the book, in the event of my untimely demise because you never know what can happen by a virus that's, you know, in the papers. I mean, it's deadly. I mean, 20 days, this stuff spreads fast.

GLENN: Are you saying that the New York Times I'm just reading between lines.

MR. SACK: Right.

GLENN: The New York Times was how many? What was it, a billion seven that they are in the hole or something like that, Stu? And they've just gone to this big, you know, this big Mexican finance guy.

MR. SACK: Right.

GLENN: And bail out the paper there in Mexico. Are you saying, if I'm reading you right, that you believe this is a New York Times scam to sell more papers?

MR. SACK: I believe in this day and age you kind of need a little extra oomph and if it involves scaring the heck out of everybody oh, my gosh, I just coughed. That's weird. Didn't feel that coming on.

GLENN: I need some Purell. Do we have any? Okay, I'm a little freaked out now. You're coughing.

MR. SACK: Did you see I Am Legend? This whole thing, it smacks of I Am Legend really.

GLENN: You should stay in your house. Do you have plastic sheeting that could

MR. SACK: Pardon me?

GLENN: I was wondering if you had plastic sheeting that could cover the windows.

MR. SACK: I was going to put plastic tape over the windows and black out things and I was going to order in the event of my untimely demise off of Amazon. I didn't want to go to a bookstore, brick and mortar places. I think I'm should I be panicked? Yes, I'm terrified.

GLENN: Okay, good.

MR. SACK: I'm walking around oh, the book's on Facebook, too. Twitter, don't forget Twitter.

STU: Glenn, in these tough economic times and we're always looking for an investment opportunity.

GLENN: Yes.

STU: You just heard Brian Sack cough. Means he probably has swine flu. So in the event of his untimely demise, in the event of my untimely demise would be worth a lot more. So if you purchase it before his untimely demise.

MR. SACK: Right.

GLENN: No, it's not going to be worth a dime more. He dies from swine flu, nobody's going to pay a dollar more.

MR. SACK: You don't think so?

GLENN: Not a dollar more, even if it's signed. It may even drop in value if it's signed.

MR. SACK: You know what's weird to me? The paper edition has more material, it's got an extra chapter. You buy the hard cover and then they have

GLENN: It has an extra chapter? What is the extra chapter? I didn't die, son, I I'm still alive?

MR. SACK: This is about every generation's hardships. I talk about the greatest generation, Tom Brokaw's greatest generation and our claim to fame is we had 300 baud modems that were really slow and, you know, if we're going shopping, nobody really knew where you were, they couldn't call you on a mobile phone because nobody had them because they were the size of a gym bag.

GLENN: Brian Sack, very, very funny writer, very funny writer, a great book, in the event of my untimely demise, it's out on paperback now. Brian Sack, we'll see you.

MR. SACK: You should see my Twitter story.

There's been a lot of talk about the idea of a (peaceful) "national divorce" as the Left continues to abandon everything that made America what it is. Well, this week's guest on "The Glenn Beck Podcast" is all for that divorce. Michael Malice is the author of "The Anarchist Handbook" and host of the podcast "Your Welcome." He joined Glenn to talk about how an anarchist would peacefully take on America's greatest challenges — with a smile.

"My rights are not up for discussion," Malice told Glenn. He explained why his version of America will save America, and why, in spite of anxious talk of "national divorce," he has so much hope for the future.

Watch the video clip below or find the full episode of "The Glenn Beck Podcast" here:


Want more from Glenn Beck?

To enjoy more of Glenn's masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution, and live the American dream.

There are new curriculum standards being implemented into schools throughout the nation for health classes that not only go far beyond what's appropriate for young children, but are entrenched in clear political biases, too. Under the standards, third-graders are taught about hormone blockers and endless gender identities, and topics get shockingly graphic for kids as young as 11. Some schools are even teaching their teachers and kids to ignore what parents have to say about these topics. And the worst part may be that many parents are completely unaware what their children are being taught.

Tina Descovich, co-founder of Moms for Liberty, joined "The Glenn Beck Program" to explain exactly what you can ask at your next school board meeting to ensure this "horrifying" curriculum isn't being taught in your kid's school.

Watch the video clip below:

Want more from Glenn Beck?

To enjoy more of Glenn's masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution and live the American dream.

It should come as no surprise that a newsworthy story receives more media coverage when released on a Monday than a Friday. The reason is in part due to a large number of news-consuming Americans checking out for the week to focus on their weekend plans rather than the news.

On Monday's radio program, Glenn Beck shared information that President Joe Biden decided to release on Friday — when fewer people would notice — regarding the Climate Finance report. This report is marketed to Americans as "A Roadmap To Build a Climate-Resilient Economy." But Glenn believes the report to be Biden's Great Reset warning shot to banks.

In this clip, Glenn warned that if Americans don't stand together, in eight years we all indeed will own nothing. Watch the clip for the full story. Can't watch? Download the podcast here.



Want more from Glenn Beck?

To enjoy more of Glenn's masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution, and live the American dream.

On today's radio program, Glenn Beck was joined by Bill O'Reilly to discuss the top stories of the week.

For O'Reilly, the biggest story this week centered around someone mysteriously missing from mainstream media news reports today: Mark Zuckerberg. Specifically, O'Reilly said it's the 'scandalous' way the Facebook CEO spent nearly $420 million to influence the 2020 election — and did so successfully.

Watch the clip to hear the full conversation. Can't watch? Download the podcast here.

Want more from Glenn Beck?

To enjoy more of Glenn's masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution and live the American dream.