GLENN: Joining us in the studio is Trace Adkins. Trace, how are you doing, my friend?
GLENN: Frightening, isn't it?
ADKINS: You are taking this end‑of‑the‑world stuff a little seriously, Glenn. Embrace the apocalypse. Come on. Lighten up. I'm here representing the people that are ‑‑ I'm about the 100‑piece puzzle. I don't like those 1,000‑piece puzzles where you dump them out on the table and you don't even know where to start.
ADKINS: No. I like the 100 piece ones.
GLENN: Can I tell you something, though?
ADKINS: The pieces are real big.
GLENN: Yeah. But do you need more than, like, five of these pieces to know what's going on?
ADKINS: No, and I ‑‑ you know, God bless you for what you're doing and I just can't believe that not everybody in this country is paying attention to it, you know. It's just ‑‑
GLENN: I can't believe those who are, like those, there are people who say, okay, sure Van Jones was a communist. Sure, okay, all right, so ACORN is, you know, fine with prostitution, and all of these things going on. They see and recognize the pieces but then they don't see a problem with it. How is that possible?
ADKINS: Yeah, I know, I know. Just the apathy is, it's beyond me, you know. It's just, you know, once their guy is in charge, then everything's okay and it doesn't really matter the details, you know. Just, oh, well, that doesn't really matter; it's just a little minor detail. Like the whole Copenhagen debacle. I mean, had that been ‑‑
ADKINS: It just, it would have been ‑‑ they would have been having parades. You know, there would have been cartoons, they would have been making fun of the guy, but ‑‑
GLENN: Can you imagine what they would have said just on the green movement, that he was last week in Pittsburgh trying to say how green we have to be. And then they fly a Gulfstream, two 747s and a 757 to go pitch for the Olympics. Could you imagine that?
ADKINS: Well, one of those was for Oprah. So I mean, you've got to ‑‑ he gets a pass on that one.
GLENN: Sure, sure.
ADKINS: Because Oprah gets her own plane.
GLENN: Yeah. It was probably racism, though, don't you think? That's probably what it was. I think all the people on the IOC, they were racist. Don't you think, Pat?
PAT: Clearly. Oh, clearly.
GLENN: Oh, yeah. They were all ‑‑
PAT: They didn't give it to Obama, they didn't give him what he wanted. So it had to be racism.
GLENN: The only explanation.
PAT: That's the only explanation.
GLENN: You know what, they give it to Brazil, the other explanation is Rio is more corrupt than Chicago.
GLENN: That's the other explanation.
ADKINS: I can't go with, I can't ‑‑ no.
ADKINS: That's not possible. That's not possible.
GLENN: You know, Trace, I said, what was it, last hour we were talking and I said I think I could take 535 people and show them the door in Washington D.C., I could throw everybody out of the capitol and I could replace them with 535 farmers and they would do a better job than these guys.
ADKINS: And that's ‑‑ yeah, I'm not going to argue that. Not going to argue that.
GLENN: So what is it that we ‑‑ how have we come to a place, Trace, where if you haven't gone to Harvard or Yale, you are just too dumb to figure things out?
ADKINS: Man, it's just the elitism, the Ivy Leaguers have taken over the world. What are we going to do? I guess we can all drive our tractors to D.C. and clog everything up for a day or two and see if that would help. I don't know. Hey, did you know Stu's still eating Flintstone vitamins?
GLENN: (Laughing). Yes, and he eats Froot Loops, too, every morning.
ADKINS: Well, I do, too, but I quit the Flintstone vitamins a long time ago.
STU: Is Trace Adkins making fun of me?
ADKINS: Does your mommy still give these to you, Stu?
STU: They are tasty and they have all the essential ingredients that you need to get you through the day. And they have hilarious Flintstones characters. What possibly could be made fun of over that? I mean, I can't believe Trace Adkins comes in here.
GLENN: Wow. Hilarious ‑‑
STU: We're talking about the future of our country.
GLENN: You really need hilarious cartoon characters for your vitamins. That's what it is.
ADKINS: He won't take his vitamins unless it's shaped like a dinosaur, oh.
STU: This is the highlight of my life here. I get made fun of by Trace Adkins over my vitamin intake. That's a solid thing to ‑‑
GLENN: No, not your vitamin intake. He's not making fun of you for taking vitamins, Stu. Taking children's chewables.
STU: They are delicious!
ADKINS: They are not sweet tarts, Stuart!
GLENN: You have a new CD?
ADKINS: Not really. It's about a year old. Came out about a year ago.
GLENN: Are you just up here just to hang out? What are you ‑‑
ADKINS: Yeah, I guess. My publicist told me I had to come do your show. I'm supposed to do ‑‑ I'm supposed to do the other one you do on TV tonight, too. So ‑‑ or this afternoon. You know, because you've got a great time slot and nobody watches it. So I don't know ‑‑
ADKINS: ‑‑ what she was thinking booking me on this thing. I'm going to have to look into this.
GLENN: It's amazing. I mean, there's just nobody watching in the afternoon.
GLENN: I saw somebody, somebody wrote yesterday that, you know, 5:00, who's watching at 5:00? Nothing but losers, people that don't have jobs and women who don't watch Oprah.
PAT: Wow. Have they heard of a thing called DVR?
GLENN: No, I don't think so.
PAT: TiVo? Wow.
GLENN: I don't think so. Why do you come up here? Why do you come up to New York? You lived here for a while. How long did you live here? A month? Doing the Trump show?
ADKINS: Yeah, I was here for a month. But I was staying over at ‑‑
GLENN: They should do a documentary on Trace Adkins.
ADKINS: It was pretty cool. I was taking at the Trump International, the one over by that big ‑‑ what's that place where the trees are? Central Park.
GLENN: Central park.
PAT: Place where the trees are.
ADKINS: And it was really cool.
GLENN: They have a perfect collection of trees here.
ADKINS: It was the perfect place for me to stay here because I wake up in the morning, I get a cup of coffee, I walk out on the front porch and take a deep breath and that's where they keep all those horses pulling those wagons around and so it kind of ‑‑
GLENN: By the way ‑‑
ADKINS: It was comforting. It was comforting.
GLENN: In a high‑rise, in a skyscraper, they don't call the balcony a front porch.
ADKINS: I'm talking about ‑‑
GLENN: Did you bring your own bug zapper for it?
ADKINS: Now that's entertainment, when you hang that bug light out there.
GLENN: Yeah. That's ‑‑
ADKINS: You can kill a lot of time watching a bug zapper.
GLENN: That's good stuff.
ADKINS: But that was a comforting aroma, you know, just all those horses across the street there.
STU: You don't know if you have a good city when someone comes to visit and the thing they praise is the smell of manure.
PAT: Well, because it drowns out the smell of vomit, which is always nice.
GLENN: It really is true.
PAT: It is.
GLENN: When were you here? What time of year was it?
ADKINS: It was about this time.
GLENN: It wasn't in ‑‑ I don't think it was in the summer.
ADKINS: No, it was in October, no.
GLENN: Okay, good. Because in August nobody, nobody lives by the park and says, mmm, that aroma is just tasty. Because in August it is nasty. Nasty.
ADKINS: Yeah. Well, you know, I think I'm going to come back up here and do one episode of the next season, too. They called and wanted me to do that. So that will be cool.
GLENN: Do you like Donald Trump?
ADKINS: You know, Trump is what he is. I'll give him that, man, I do.
GLENN: I haven't figured out that guy. I don't know if he ‑‑ is he conservative, is he liberal? What is he? Is he just pure capitalist like, I'm just in it for the money?
ADKINS: Well, he is who he is, and people ask me to tell us how Trump, what Trump's like, you know.
GLENN: No, no.
ADKINS: And I always tell them this. If you have developed an opinion of Donald Trump over the years from the persona that you have seen on television, then you have an honest opinion of the man, whether you like him or you hate him, that's ‑‑ you can rest assured that that's as well as you are going to get to know him about what you've seen. Because I'm telling you the persona doesn't change, whether the red light's on or the red light's off. He's that character, he's that all the time.
GLENN: I will tell you that I went to a party with him ‑‑ well, not with him.
ADKINS: Hey. Now, that's bragging right there. When you say I party with Trump.
STU: Watch, MTV might report it.
GLENN: I went to this party. It was for Larry King, his, I don't know, his 800th, you know, anniversary or whatever.
ADKINS: Those suspenders have almost cut the man's shoulders off. Have you seen that? Have you noticed that?
GLENN: I have. I have. Positively skeleton in suspenders. But he did this party, and Donald Trump was there. And my wife and I walked away from him and we both said the same thing: I did everything I could not to look at his hair. It's weirder in person than it is on television. And I still can't figure it out.
ADKINS: But he will pull on it. He got right in my face and pulled it to show me that it was real.
GLENN: So it's not a comb‑over?
ADKINS: I don't know what it is, man. I don't know which direction it's coming from.
GLENN: It's weird.
ADKINS: Whether it's coming from the back or ‑‑
GLENN: I think the best interview would be Donald Trump's barber. That would be a fascinating interview.
ADKINS: That guy has a gag order on him that's ironclad.
GLENN: Oh, he would be in the bottom of the East River, man.
ADKINS: And he would always go, Trace, lose the hat. Lose the hat, you got ‑‑ it was just like he always wanted me to go without my hat, you know.
GLENN: You should have said, I'll lose it if you'll wear it. I can't look at that hair anymore.
STU: Would you be surprised at all to find out, though, that Donald Trump's barber is really like an architect? He said that each individual hair is placed in a way to look like it's covering as much as possible.
GLENN: Oh, yeah. No, he's ‑‑ no, he's definitely an artist of some sort.
ADKINS: I like his kids, too, man. His kids were ‑‑
STU: I'm a fan.
ADKINS: I mean, incredibly well adjusted given ‑‑
GLENN: That their dad's Donald Trump?
ADKINS: Yeah, yeah.
GLENN: All right. Hang on just a second.
STU: Come on, somebody's got to back me up with that.
ADKINS: It is what it is.
STU: Am I the only man in this room? Of course I'm a fan of... well.
GLENN: What is she? Like 12? 11?
STU: No. She's like the CEO of a company.
GLENN: Oh, yeah, she earned that.
STU: What's her name? Do you know her name, Trace? She's very smart, very, very pretty.
ADKINS: Ivanka, man. I kept telling her I'm in a band.
GLENN: That's great.
ADKINS: Because, you know, I always thought the beautiful rich girls liked guys in bands. So I kept reminding her that I was in a band. She didn't care.
GLENN: Yeah. No, you are a country singer.
ADKINS: Yeah, she didn't care.
STU: That's solid, come on. Ivanka Trump? Look, he's got his hand on his mouth. I told you.
GLENN: How old is she? That's the question. How old is she?
ADKINS: She's mid‑20s.
GLENN: Would David Letterman have her intern?
ADKINS: Oh, oh.
GLENN: How bad is that? That thing's going to turn into a nightmare, man. Lawsuits are going to come out of the woodwork. Sexual harassment lawsuits? Don't you think?
ADKINS: I have no idea. He's your neighbor. You ought to know more than I do.
GLENN: No, he ain't my neighbor. I don't think he likes me, just a guess.
ADKINS: I don't think he likes me, either, just a guest. Very good guess. I've been on his show once.
GLENN: Have you really?
STU: How did that go? Did he hit on you?
ADKINS: No, no, actually it was kind of funny.
GLENN: He has long hair.
ADKINS: You know, because they all ‑‑ people ask me. You know, after you sing he usually goes over and says something to the entertainer, the singer, you know. And he came over and did to me and so afterwards somebody that was watching asked me, what did he come over and say to you? And I said, he came over and just kind of chewed me out because I was supposed to do a radio interview that morning and I couldn't make it to the station because the traffic was too bad. So I missed the interview and all he came over and said was, "You were supposed to be on the radio this morning." And he just turned around and walked off. That's all he said.
STU: Wow, what a ladies man.
GLENN: Works with the ladies.