Glenn at the NRA


Glenn speaks at the 2008 NRA's Member Banquet...

GLENN:  From Radio City in Midtown Manhattan, third most listened to show in all of America.  Hello, you sick twisted freak.  You know, I was actually at my daughter's prom on -- it was fantastic.  I was at my daughter's prom on Friday so I didn't get to see Mike Huckabee's speech at the NRA convention.  Mike, you really probably should stay away from the gun and presidential candidate jokes.  Just a safety tip, just a safety tip.  But then I went to the NRA, and I was -- I spoke on Saturday night.  Just, what a great crowd.  What a great group of people out of the NRA.  But I run into -- I've been texting Marcus Luttrell because Marcus was supposed to come with me to my daughter's prom.  Now, if you don't know who Marcus Luttrell is, he's the author of Lone Survivor.  He and his Navy SEAL team, there were four of them, they fought off 400 Al-Qaeda members by themselves and he's the lone survivor.  Kind of a tough guy.

I tried to get him on the phone this morning but he's giving a lecture some place.  So he can't tell the story himself, but we'll have him later on to retell the story, but I've been texting him and I couldn't get a hold of him and I'm like, Marcus, come on, man, you've got to help me; my daughter is going out to her prom; I need to scare the living bat crap out of the guy dating her!  And nothing.

So there I am at the NRA and I'm having a conversation with somebody and all of a sudden across the room I see Marcus walk in and he makes eye contact with me.  And then he just puts his head down.  So I make a beeline over to Marcus and I said, where have you been, man?  He said, well, sir, now -- you know, Marcus, if you've ever heard him on the program, he's the most kind, humble, quiet Texan you can imagine.  Agree, Stu?  Is that a great way to -- right?

STU:  Yeah, definitely.

GLENN:  Humble, he's a seal.  He's a Navy SEAL and he's not Jesse Ventura, "I'm going to rip your heart out."  He said, "Well, sir--" I said, "Marcus, where are you?"  He said, "Well, sir, my mama doesn't know this yet, but I've been in jail."  And I said, what?  He said, "Well, I came up to Manhattan.  I was in Manhattan and one thing led to another and I ended up in jail."  I said, "What the -- what did you do?"  "Well, sir, I was just minding my own business."  He said, "There I was," and he stayed at this -- I don't know.  I don't know how to describe it -- hip kind of hotel here in Manhattan where nothing but troublemakers hang out at.  You know the type.  So Marcus is like, "I'm just staying at this hotel and, you know, they have a bar downstairs and so I went down to that bar."  He said, "Have you ever been to that hotel?  That's a weird hotel."  I said, yes.  He said, "So I'm standing there at that -- I'm standing there in the hotel and I decide to go down to the bar."  And he said, "I'm just, I'm wearing my cowboy boots and wearing my jeans and I got a shirt on and back of the shirt is a Texas state flag."  He said, "I'm just standing there at the bar and I'm talking to this woman.  She's very nice.  We're just having a nice conversation and pretty soon a guy comes up and he slaps me on the back.  He pokes me in the back and he said, 'Your murdering President is from the state that you have the flag on.'"  He said, "So I under turned around and I looked at him."  He said, "It was this little scrawny guy, he's wearing a polo shirt, he's got the collar flipped up and wearing some kind of weird tie around his polo shirt."  He said, "He's got skinny jeans and stupid shoes and said he's wearing sunglasses in the bar at night."  He said, "This guy was just pissing me off just looking at him.  To add insult to injury," he said, "I could barely understand him."  Said, "I couldn't understand him.  He was from some place else.  He was a tourist."  And he said, "I just turned to him and I said, 'Yes, sir, that's who the President -- that's where the President is from.'"  Then he turned around.  He said, "I started talking to the girl again.  Pretty soon the guy pokes me in the back again."

Now, when I'm hearing this story, I'm thinking, you're the dumbest SOB on the planet.  You are poking a guy the size of Marcus Luttrell in the back and calling on trouble.

STU:  Yeah, and not to mention that he's wearing a Texas flag.

GLENN:  Yes.

STU:  You're, like, trying to insult him.

GLENN:  Yes.

STU:  Not a good idea.

GLENN:  Yes.  And he pokes him in the back and says, "Are all Texans nothing but murdering thugs?"  Now he's -- now he's not only insulting the President and Texas but he's calling all Texans murdering thugs, and he's saying it to a man who held off 400 Al-Qaeda members single-handedly for two days.  He turned around and he said, "You know what?  There's two things you don't do.  You don't make fun of my mama and you don't make fun of the great State of Texas.  You hear me?"  He said, then I turned around again.  He said, I started talking to this girl.  Third time.  He said the guy was just saying -- he didn't even tell me -- saying some of the worst stuff about Bush, about Texas, about the war, he said, and then he poked him in the back again, third time.  Marcus said, "Glenn, there's really only two ways to get a man's attention and that is to catch him on fire or beat the hell out of him."  I said, you didn't set him on fire, did you?  He said, "No."  He said before he knew it, though, he was outside that bar with mice hands around his neck and I was beating the snot out of him on the sidewalk.  Police came and Marcus was -- so Marcus was in jail.  And I said, you know, Marcus, this story could end a lot of ways.  With you being in jail I could have been very disappointed in you but for some reason a guy with sunglasses at night and a flipped up polo shirt making fun of you, the President and Texas, I'm strangely okay with you beating the snot out of him on the sidewalks in Manhattan.  Was it worth it?  He said, "Well, yes, sir."

STU:  That's fan -- I can tell you this.  It's the absolute best outcome for the guy who was poking him.  The fact that it just ends with Marcus in jail, like, that's the best.

GLENN:  He was dead serious, too.  He was dead serious.  He said, there's really only two ways to get a man's attention.  You either catch him on fire or you beat the snot out of him.  Who will thinks catch him on fire is an option?  (Laughing).  He was at the NRA convention and they were talking about some, you know, .50-caliber sharpshooting rifle and a .50-caliber sharpshooting rifle, that's a big rifle and our military uses it and Marcus has used it, and the president of the company that makes this .50-caliber rifle says, "You know -- "and he sees Marcus there and he was sitting there listening in the audience to the guy.  He said, you know, Marcus Luttrell is here.  He said, Marcus, military uses this weapon.  What do you think of it?  Have you ever used it?  Marcus again:  "Well, sir, yes, I have.  637 -- 1637 yards I shot a man's throat out.  There was not really much left.  So I think it's a good piece of machinery.  Sits down.  There was like, (clearing throat).  Okay, Marcus, those are stories that really you should --

STU:  That's not really dinnertime material.

GLENN:  That's not -- I know the Second Amendment's not about sportsmen and hunting, but the NRA convention is.  You know what I mean?  When they're talking -- when he's up there talking about, "You know this .50-caliber rifle, this is a great, you can get a shot --" I don't think we really need to talk about taking a man's throat out at 1600 yards.  Maybe it's just me.

STU:  It is amazing how pro Second Amendment people come when it's other people fighting for their freedom overseas.  It's amazing how all of a sudden everyone's like, "Oh, yeah, they can have guns, no problem about it when they're defending me."

GLENN:  I would buy a .50-caliber sniper rifle, absolutely.  Sure.

STU:  It will do the job.

GLENN:  It will do the job.  For deer.  It will do the job.  You know what, it was just an incredible weekend, man.  That's the first time I've ever been to the NRA convention and they asked me to speak and I tried out some of the -- I tried out some of the material for the Unelectable speech.  You know our tour, it's politically incorrect.  I hammer the Republicans, I hammer the -- I call McCain, Obama and Hillary Larry, Curly and Mo, the Three Stooges, and went into their policies and hammered all of them and hammered both sides, and there were senators and everybody else sitting in the audience and I don't know.  I don't think it's -- I mean, it's politically incorrect, but I don't -- I think people are so starved for the truth that they'll pretty much go anywhere.  They'll pretty much go anywhere.

STU:  Well, I had to ask you because I actually had a friend who was there and I got an e-mail from them with notes because I wanted notes on your speech hoping, of course, for flubs, trip-ups.

GLENN:  Oh, you know what?  I keep leaving -- because everybody I talk to said that you had e-mailed them or talked to them.  You were looking for -- I mean, you really thought I was going to get up and --

STU:  Well --

GLENN:  I mean, there was one person that came up to me and said, Stu wants verbatim everything you say about Ted Kennedy.  I'm like, I'm not going to make fun of Ted -- he was just rushed to the hospital.

STU:  I just was warning you.  I just wanted to make sure.  Because I mean, you know, Ted Kennedy jokes are fine 99% of the time.

GLENN:  Sure.

STU:  But the day he goes to the hospital.

GLENN:  The day he goes to the hospital, you think that's over the edge, Stu?

STU:  Not really the timing.  I was just reminding you.  This is what he said.  He said your speech included six standing ovations.

GLENN:  Yes.  That it was the biggest crowd they've ever had, the biggest convention they've ever had, the biggest -- it doubled last year's convention, the size-wise.

STU:  Not the convention.  The dinner.

GLENN:  The dinner that I spoke at.

STU:  And at the end they gave you a gun.

GLENN:  They did and it was a little awkward.

STU:  The gun?

GLENN:  They gave me the Charlton Heston rifle, the cold dead hands, that thing.

STU:  Really?

GLENN:  Yeah.  It's beautiful, absolutely beautiful.  They took it away from me right away.  They let me hold it for, like, five minutes.  And they're like, we'll box it and ship it to you.  And I'm like, but I haven't even seen it.  We'll box it and ship it to you.

STU:  Can it take someone's throat out at 1600 yards?

GLENN:  No, no.  I didn't know what to say when they handed -- because they played because they did this big tribute to Charlton Heston, you know, and at the end with his, you know, you take it out of my cold, dead hands.  And then, you know, they give it -- you know, "Here."  And I'm like -- all I could think of is, "They didn't take it out of his cold, dead hands, did they?  I mean, that's not --" I didn't ask but I'm pretty sure they didn't.

STU:  Probably a different one.

GLENN:  I'm pretty sure it's a different one.  What do you say?  You know, I had to walk up to the microphone and say something, cold dead -- you can't say anything.  What do you do?  You stand there with a gun?  I didn't know what to say.

STU:  You can't follow that.

GLENN:  No.  So I just walked up to the microphone with nothing to say and I went, "Thank you.  I'm glad I now have a gun to go varmint hunting with."  I mean, I didn't know what to say.

Would Glenn make a better bounty hunter or a Jedi? You'll have to find out in a new episode of the Beltway Banthas Podcast, where Glenn goes deep on Star Wars with host Stephen Kent. In this 45 minute discussion, Stephen and Glenn explore the political themes of the Star Wars franchise, Darth Vader's redemption from Return of the Jedi, Glenn's earliest memories of seeing the films and even debate elements of the latest Star Wars films.

If you enjoy the pop culture and nerdy discussions that Glenn, Pat and Stu get into on the radio show, you'll love this! After you're through, you can also check out Stu Burguiere's appearance on Beltway Banthas to talk Star Wars. You can find that here.


It's never too early to start your Christmas, Hanukah, or Kwanzaa shopping. Or even birthday gift shopping. Especially if that special someone in your life is a Democrat. Because at last count, pretty much all the Democrats are now running for president. And that means there has never been a wider selection of official candidate merchandise to choose from. Whether you're into environmentalism, feminism, classism, socialism, or just plain love, there is a smorgasbord of classy items that you and yours will treasure forever... or at least until the next presidential election.

We have browsed each of the candidates' online stores, so you don't have to (it only took us three months). We have curated only the finest items from each of the Democrats running for president of the United States of America. Without further ado, here is your handy progressive gift guide – or maybe your what-not-to-gift guide.

First, the bargain basement options. Hurry! Time is running out to grab your Beto bandana, or your Delaney pack of golf balls, because at this point Stu has as much of a chance as these guys of getting the nomination.

Tom Steyer, for example – is he still in the race?


https://shop.tomsteyer.com/collections/frontpage/products/tom-2020-pattern-tee


There's way too much Tom here. That shirt's got more Toms than a Caucasian dentists' convention.

For the slightly more moderate Democrat in your life, perhaps they'd like to join the "Yang Gang"…

https://shop.yang2020.com/collections/bumper-stickers/products/yanggang-decal


Andrew Yang is a lock for Math Club president…


https://shop.yang2020.com/collections/apparel/products/math-hat


But for actual president? Well, I wouldn't make plans for how you're going to spend your $1,000-per-month Yang allowance just yet.

If you happen to be shopping for your dog, may I suggest this lovely "Dogs for Delaney" dog collar…


https://store.johndelaney.com/products/dogs-for-delaney-collar


John Delaney's definitely going to secure the canine vote with this kind of outreach. As for any human votes, that's another question entirely.

How 'bout this tastefully understated "Natural Canvas" Michael Bennet tote to remind you he's also still here?...


https://store.michaelbennet.com/michael-bennet-for-america-natural-canvas-tote/


Then again, it's a tote. So, it'll end up on the floor of your closet and you won't have it with you until that one random moment when you're out somewhere and you really need a tote bag. Just like Democrats will really wish they had a moderate when we're in the middle of the socialist nightmare of their creation.

Captain Planet himself, Jay Inslee recently dropped out of the race, but don't let that stop you from picking up what may be the greatest single item sold by anyone in this race…


https://store.jayinslee.com/elvis-the-elves-the-mystery-of-the-melting-snow-by-jay-inslee/


A children's book called Elvis & the Elves: the Mystery of the Melting Snow. Written and illustrated by Governor Jay Inslee. Talk about a whodunnit – how could that snow possibly be melting? Spoiler alert: it's because of evil, white, patriarchal capitalism. And Donald Trump.

Then there's the candidate who thinks you're a moron that can't pronounce his last name: Steve Bullock...


https://shop.stevebullock.com/collections/apparel/products/emoji-t-shirt


Get it? Bull. Lock. Oh, so that's how you say the name that sounds exactly how it's spelled.

There's another candidate who also thinks you need help pronouncing his last name…


https://store.peteforamerica.com/collections/apparel/products/boot-edge-edge-t-shirt


And he is definitely right about that. So, thank you, Pete "Boot Edge Edge." That helps.

Just outside the bargain bin section, but just barely, are candidates like Julian Castro and his "El Presidente" t-shirt…


https://store.julianforthefuture.com/julian-castro-loteria-card-white-tee/


When your last name's Castro, do you really want to go with a weird drawing of yourself as if you're a classic Latin American dictator on a postage stamp?

If you prefer a little "dark psychic forces" battling in your candidates, you'll love Marianne Williamson's "Turn Love Into a Political Force" rally sign…


https://store.marianne2020.com/collections/signs/products/love-rally-sign


"Turn Love Into a Political Force" would be an even better title for a Marianne Williamson album of 80s cover songs. And if you think I'm joking, then you haven't heard Bernie Sanders' classic 1987 folk album, We Shall Overcome. That's not a joke. Well, it is a joke, but it's also a very real thing.

Now, just a quick pause to consider the peculiar baby-wear that way too many candidates are selling…

…including Elizabeth Warren's trans-pride flag onesie. Let me get this straight – we can't force any gender on a child, because that's just cruel. But we can force a political advertisement on a baby? How do we know that baby is actually a Biden or Warren fan? The child may not even be a Democrat or a Socialist at all. That baby might self-identify as a Libertarian, or Republican, or even worse – a moderate Democrat.

Now to the premium items from the premium candidates. Elizabeth Warren – the candidate with the most honesty in her advertising…


https://shop.elizabethwarren.com/collections/apparel/products/impolite-arrogant-women-make-history-unisex-t-shirt

-AND-

https://shop.elizabethwarren.com/collections/drinkware/products/strong-american-unions-mug


Warren's merchandise reflects the woman herself – cold and humorless (watch her "This isn't funny" clip from the last debate here at the 4:27 mark). I'm sure she's really fun once you get to know her. Then again, maybe not.

Speaking of serious women, Kamala Harris wants to be president very badly for you, the people, as you can tell from her "For the People" poster…


https://store.kamalaharris.org/poster-for-the-people/


At $29.99 though, she's sure not charging "people's" prices. Of course, she might be having to pay royalties to a certain someone for riffing on their poster. Just saying.

For the race's number one socialist, there's a whole lot of capitalism going on in Bernie Sanders' campaign. He sells so many delightful items that it's hard to choose. But we did anyway. The most random item is this hundred-dollar, black, "Art of a Political Revolution – Artists for Bernie Sanders Coaches Jacket"…


https://store.berniesanders.com/collections/apparel/products/artists-for-bernie-coaches-jacket


Coaches across the land will be clamoring for this one. You know, since coaches are such a strong Bernie-socialist demographic.

If that's a little over your budget you might consider a "Feel the Bern" fanny pack, to help store all those government freebies you'll get from Bernie…


https://store.berniesanders.com/collections/apparel/products/feel-the-bern-fanny-pack


This is the only context in which you'll ever want to hear "feel the burn" and "fanny" in the same sentence.

And finally, from front-runner Joe Biden, we have this fine "Women's Fitted Biden Polo." Which is just about the best polo description ever…


https://store.joebiden.com/collections/apparel/products/biden-polo-womens-fit


It promises the kind of snug approach that Biden loves to provide women. Even when they don't ask.

This was one of the first homesteads in the area in the 1880's and was just begging to be brought back to its original glory — with a touch of modern. When we first purchased the property, it was full of old stuff without any running water, central heat or AC, so needless to say, we had a huge project ahead of us. It took some vision and a whole lot of trust, but the mess we started with seven years ago is now a place we hope the original owners would be proud of.

To restore something like this is really does take a village. It doesn't take much money to make it cozy inside, if like me you are willing to take time and gather things here and there from thrift shops and little antique shops in the middle of nowhere.

But finding the right craftsman is a different story.

Matt Jensen and his assistant Rob did this entire job from sketches I made. Because he built this in his off hours it took just over a year, but so worth the wait. It wasn't easy as it was 18"out of square. He had to build around that as the entire thing we felt would collapse. Matt just reinforced the structure and we love its imperfections.

Here are a few pictures of the process and the transformation from where we started to where we are now:

​How it was

It doesn't look like much yet, but just you wait and see!

By request a photo tour of the restored cabin. I start doing the interior design in earnest tomorrow after the show, but all of the construction guys are now done. So I mopped the floors, washed the sheets, some friends helped by washing the windows. And now the unofficial / official tour.

The Property

The views are absolutely stunning and completely peaceful.