Super Glenn


'Super Glenn' as seen on the June 2007 cover of Fusion Magazine

GLENN: By the way, Stu.

STU: Yes.

GLENN: What did you think of the Good Morning America -- I think this is the first time I've been on Good Morning America since they promised me that they weren't going to, they weren't going to do something and then they just, and then they did it.

STU: It's been a while actually, yeah. I thought you did a good job. I thought you did as good a job as someone can while defending, you know, charges of sexism in pink pants. I mean, most people would be like --

GLENN: No, wait a minute.

STU: -- wouldn't understand.

GLENN: They promised me, they promised me -- again, they promised me that they would not show the pants, and they did.

STU: You are just trying to turn this into some media conspiracy against you but I would point out that no one in history has been filmed with pink pants when they were wearing normal person pants. So if you were just to not wear pink pants, they couldn't shoot the pink pants. Do you understand the concept?

GLENN: It was 75 degrees outside, they are stone washed, they are stone washed --

STU: Oh, oh.

GLENN: They are stone washed khakis. Happened to be pink.

STU: You are like Al Gore.

GLENN: I'm wearing no socks and a polo shirt. I go to do my television show and I put on a suit and tie. It doesn't even match the pink pants. Sometimes I'll wear shorts on the set as long as they don't show my pants.

STU: That's weird because, you know, Dan, I don't know about you but I feel like I've been in temperatures of 75 degrees before and I never was wearing pink pants in any of those situations.

DAN: Yeah, it's bizarre.

GLENN: I'm perfectly fine with my sexuality. Anderson Cooper came up to me in the hallway that day and he stopped dead in his tracks and he said, a man who's comfortable with his sexuality. And I said, Anderson, oh, yeah.

STU: It has nothing to do with your sexuality. It has to do with your taste, it has to do with your character.

GLENN: Can I tell you something?

STU: With your moral character.

GLENN: I think it's hysterical that they were charging me with sexism while I'm wearing pink pants.

STU: It is funny. It's almost like you did it on purpose. The problem is you didn't.

GLENN: Yes, I did.

STU: No, you didn't. We know you didn't.

GLENN: Yes, I did. I did. Like I'm going to take this from a guy who won't stop criminals from robbing a poor 80-year-old man.

STU: What are you talking? He wasn't 80 years old. He was like 35.

GLENN: That's your story.

STU: This is your fallback position now, isn't it?

GLENN: Dan is trying to protect Sarah and her unborn child from the New York mob as they're robbing this guy 80 years old and the street and he's like, help me, won't somebody help me. And Stu does nothing. He looks the other way. He doesn't even know what they look like.

STU: I love this. You act like you're so tough but we all foe exactly why you're tough. It's because of Adam. You're the biggest wuss in the world. You play all those Super Stu pits today. I've got Super Glenn ones for you today.

GLENN: You what?

STU: I have a Super Glenn thing and I'm responding to your attacks.

GLENN: I had Super Stu yesterday, faster than a speeding mullet, crying like a little girl, "I'm a little girl."

STU: I was not crying and I just looked the other way.

GLENN: Yeah, right. You just looked the other way and let this poor old man lie there in a pool of blood.

STU: Well, I did look the other way but I know he wasn't an old man and he wasn't in a pool of blood.

GLENN: That's your story, not what America heard.

STU: We all know how tough you are.

GLENN: Yeah, go ahead.

VOICE: Faster than a speeding tub of lard, more powerful than a strung-out supermodel and unable to leap anything because he's a giant ball of goo, it's Super Glenn.

VOICE: Oh, no. Oh, would you look at that? That is so, so sad. That woman is being assaulted. If that doesn't stop, there's a chance that my Porter house could be upended. Oh, the horrors, I just don't have time for a chef to recook this not to mention the additional marination that would be needed. Then I'd have to rush to acupuncture and I could very easily trip over a homeless. Adam, Adam, please take care of this little tussle for me and then grab me another ramiken of au jus.

VOICE: Proving once again he doesn't just dress like a chick, he acts like one, too.

GLENN: Let me tell you something. At least in that scenario the woman's saved.

STU: I agree. It just has nothing to do with you.

GLENN: In the end Super Glenn, I believe let's check the episode again. In the end didn't Super Glenn say, "Adam, go take care of that."

STU: I could say Adam, go take care of it. He doesn't listen to me.

GLENN: That's the point. That's exactly right because you are too busy running and crying like a little girl.

STU: But I'm just saying that I don't think that you pointing to Adam to do stuff for you is really that manual.

GLENN: Got another episode? I just proved this episode --

VOICE: Faster than a speeding tub of lard, more powerful than a strung-out supermodel and unable to leap anything because he's a giant ball of goo, it's Super Glenn.

VOICE: Oh, oh, my. Oh, my. Would you look at that. Toddler tossing. Mmm, throwing toddlers into incoming traffic. That is a shame. Adam, stop buffing my toenails for a second and look over there. Over there. If there was only a hero that could stop this, or someone with the vision to hire someone to stop it. Adam, my cuticles can wait. Attack the perps, as soon as you grab me one more diet Seltzer, please, with lime. Thank you.

VOICE: It's Super Glenn to the rescue proving once and for all that he doesn't just dress like a chick, he acts like one, too.

GLENN: I don't get pedicures, I don't drink Seltzer.

STU: You most certainly do.

GLENN: I do not.

STU: You don't drink Seltzer. You drink diet Seltzer.

GLENN: I don't drink Seltzer and never anything with lime. And again, Super Glenn to the rescue. Adam, go kill him. In fact, let me try this out.

VOICE: Faster than a speeding tub of lard. More powerful than a strung-out supermodel, and unable to leap anything because he's a giant ball of goo, it's Super Glenn.

VOICE: Oh. Oh, no. Will you look at all this? Crime is out of control. That person was just robbed. That person was just stabbed. That person was just cannibalized. Oh, that's it. Adam, stop cleaning out my individual pores for a moment and kill everyone in the city. Just put them out of their misery. Plus, it will clear up traffic when I drive home, or when you drive me home. Speaking of home, will you read me that bedtime story again? You know the one about the new wheat disease that brings a new era of pestilence? I love that one.

VOICE: It's super Glenn to the rescue proving once and for all that he doesn't just dress like a chick, he acts like one, too.

GLENN: Are you seriously trying to tell me that if Adam killed everybody in New York, it wouldn't be a better place?

STU: Well, that's a very good point.

GLENN: All right. Thank you. Super Glenn has done it again.

With cops under fire, businesses destroyed, and innocent civilians beaten and killed, where is the justice that well-meaning protesters were seeking for George Floyd?

On Wednesday night's special, Glenn Beck goes one on one with Blexit founder and "Blackout" author Candace Owens about what's really driving the riots, white privilege in America, and why it sickens her that Floyd has become a martyr for Black America.

Watch the full special below:

Use code GLENN to save $10 on one year of BlazeTV.

Want more from Glenn Beck?

To enjoy more of Glenn's masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multiplatform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution and live the American dream

Award-winning investigative journalist Lara Logan told Glenn Beck on the radio program Wednesday that a network of radical extremist terrorist organizations, which includes Antifa, are coordinating and escalating many of the violent riots in the wake of George Floyd's death.

Lara, who has done extensive reporting on Antifa, said it's "extraordinary" that so many Americans in the media and politics are defending the "very violent terrorist organization."

"[The media is] pretending that they care about journalism. They don't. They care about silencing, intimidating, destroying, annihilating, and getting us all to self-sensor so we don't cover any of the subjects they don't want us talking about," she said.

"For those of us who've followed [Antifa] for a while, and know what they're doing and what their agenda is, what has always been troubling is the way so many people in the media and in the political establishment have given them cover to operate," Laura added. "These are extremists. And you see a lot of parallels between extremists on the left and the right ... they pretty much operate the same way, exactly. And there's no difference between what Antifa is doing and the 'Brown Shirts' of Nazi Germany. Or the 'Black Shirts' of Mussolini."

She read the 10 points of action listed by an extremist group called the "Revolutionary Abolitionist Movement", which culminates with "Liberation begins where America dies."

Glenn recalled a prediction he made approximately 15 years ago, that "socialist, communists, radicals, anarchists, [and] Islamists would all work together ... they would all see the opportunity and work toward the same goal. And that's destruction of capitalism, and destruction of the Western world."

"A few years ago, I probably would not have agreed with you on that," Laura responded. "But I now see that you're absolutely correct."

Watch the video below to hear Lara detail evidence to expose the truth about Antifa:

Media targets Lara Logan for exposing the truth about Antifa

The media pretends to care about good journalism, but what they really care about silencing, intimidating, destroying, annihilating and getting us all to...


Use code GLENN to save $10 off one year of your subscription.

Want more from Glenn Beck?

To enjoy more of Glenn's masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution and live the American dream.

The Trump-deranged media is calling the president a "coward" because he was moved to an underground bunker as riots erupted outside the White House over the weekend.

Former Secret Service agent Dan Bongino joined the "Glenn Beck Radio Program" Tuesday to set the record straight. He told Glenn that under Title 18, US Code 3056, the Secret Service has the authority to protect the president however they deem necessary, with or without his consent.

Dan explained that the severity of the White House riots, which resulted in at least 50 Secret Service agents being injured, would very likely have warranted overriding the president's preference on whether or not to take shelter.

"Shame on the media ... for painting this as some kind of situation where Trump ran like a coward," Dan said. "Which is totally false and made-up. [...] They're morons. These are imbeciles with double digit IQs who are only in this to aggravate an already-bad situation. And it's a shame, because they're really incentivizing this kind of stuff to happen."

He also made it clear that the so-called protests over the death of George Floyd were actually "very strategic" riots organized by "Antifa terrorists."

"It was not even a protest. It should have been, and could have been ... but that's not what it was. It was an insurrection. It was a riot," Dan stated.

"I can tell you, from sources of mine that were there, [who are] more than credible and unimpeachable, that the attack at the White House -- and that's what it was over a period of days -- was very organized. It was done using very strategic tactics," he added. "I want to be crystal clear, this was organized by Antifa terrorists. It's not a joke. It's not hyperbole. These were people that were committed to an insurrection that was thankfully put down."

Watch the video below for more details:

Dan Bongino: Trump is NOT a Coward Hiding in a Bunker


Want more from Glenn Beck?

To enjoy more of Glenn's masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multiplatform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution and live the American dream.

The media has been trying to discredit BlazeTV's Elijah Schaffer after he recorded a disturbing video of a man being brutally beaten and stoned almost to death by rioters Saturday evening in Dallas.

Elijah joined Glenn Beck on the radio program Monday to set the record straight.

"The very dishonest far-left media is working tirelessly at the moment to completely, not only discredit myself, but they always say, 'Elijah Schaffer who works for Glenn Beck's BlazeTV.' As if that's an insult. So I'm going to clear the air right now," he told Glenn.

"There was a group of about, I would say 150 rioters. They were not protesters. They were breaking windows. They broke into a bank. They broke into a bar. They were looting alcohol and partying on the streets while breaking glass. These were not people who were grieving over black lives," he added. "The police had lost control of the city."

Elijah went on to describe the violent scene, detailing the events leading up to the brutal beating of a man who was apparently trying to defend a local bar. Elijah posted a video of the incident on Twitter Saturday night.

*Warning: graphic content*

"Rioters with rocks and bricks and bats and weapons, 150 or more, were accosting him as he stood in front of the bar," Elijah said. "Then they started stoning him, Glenn! Medieval! Throwing rocks and bricks.... We're in America. This is 2020. We do not stone people in the United States of America!"

Watch the video below for more details:

*Warning: graphic content*

Want more from Glenn Beck?

To enjoy more of Glenn's masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multiplatform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution and live the American dream.