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GLENN: The people who are running this country, they're on a train to crazy town.
Let me give you the example. This is from the front page of today's Wall Street Journal. As the mile-high city gears up to host Democratic bash for 50,000 organizers, they are discovering the perils of trying to stage a political spectacle that is also politically correct. Wait until you hear this. Consider the fanny packs. The host committee for the Democratic National Convention wanted 15,000 fanny packs for volunteers but they had to be made from organic cotton, but they also needed to be made by organized labor, but they also needed to be made in the United States of America. Official merchandiser Bob DeMasse scoured the country. He says, that doesn't exist. Ditto for the baseball caps. We have union made caps, we have made in America caps, and we have organic caps, but we don't have something that is all three.
Now, I get to this part of the story and I highlight it and I think to myself, I don't think I need anymore. This is what these people are worried about? How much are you paying for gas? This is what they're worried about, whether their fanny packs come from organic cotton? You've got to be kidding me, right? I'm about to put it down but then something inside of me says no, no, no, there's got to be more. Oh, and yes, there is. There's a lot more. Try this one. They want to have balloons, but they need to make sure that the balloons are biodegradable. So they're looking for biodegradable balloons. Uh-huh. They also want to have air conditioning but they're worried about air conditioning because air conditioning isn't green. You've got to be kidding me. You're worried about balloons and air conditioning units?
What they've done on the balloon front is they bought the advertised, quote/unquote advertised biodegradable balloons and then they have taken them -- this is the Democratic National Committee. They have taken them and put a bunch of them in a steaming compost heap. The woman who was doing this was hired by the DNC's official carbon advisor. I'm about to lose my mind. May I just ask, is it just me, the official carbon advisor. Gang, I got news for you. I don't care if you're in the bakery business, I don't care if you sell cars, I don't care if you make cars out of hemp. You're going to have an official carbon advisor. Get used to that phrase.
So the official carbon advisor is with the person who is wearing the biodegradable balloons to test them and they are measuring the greenhouse gas emissions for every placard, every plane trip, every appetizer, every cup of coffee is going to be tested. The Democrats hope to pay penance for those emissions by investing in renewable energy products. So in other words, they are testing how many carbon units does it take to make this cup of coffee. They will test it and then they will pay in carbon credits. Some might say, what, are you insane? Others that are a little more tolerant than I am say, why don't you guys just stay home and do it all on the Internet. Just take everybody in. Technology is there. Everybody can just log online. You can have your little convention over the Internet. You really want to make a statement? There's a statement for you. Costs too much. It harms the Earth too much to fly. The carbon credit is just moving wealth from one pocket to the other. If you really care about the planet, we're all going to die in this horrible fiery flood, why have balloons? We don't need balloons. They're testing balloons. To police, the story goes on, to police the four-day event, August 25th through the 28th, they are assembling via paperless online sign-up a trash brigade decked out in green shirts, I hope that they're organic cotton shirts made by the union and in the United States. Decked out in green shirts, the 900 volunteers will hover at waste disposal stations. Is that a garbage can? I don't even know anymore. Is a waste disposal station, is that a garbage can? The 900 volunteers will hover at waste disposal stations to make sure delegates put each scrap of trash in the proper bin. Lest a fork slip through the wrong container unnoticed, volunteers will have to paw through every bag of garbage before it's hauled away. That's the only way to make sure it's pure, says a DNC spokesperson. May I again ask the question? Is it just me?
Let me ask a second question. How much are you paying for gas again? The Democrats -- it goes on. The Democrats are offering menus called Lean and Green. There are guidelines for the food now being served at the DNC. Among the guidelines, no fried food. And on the theory that nutritious food is more vibrant -- ready for this? On the theory that nutritious food is more vibrant, each meal -- this is according to the DNC guidelines -- each meal must include the following color, red, green, yellow, blue/purple and white. Garnishes don't count. May I again ask, is it just me? Am I alone? Is anybody else reading this and thinking, Good Lord, the only thing they haven't said yet is if you don't have red, green, yellow, blue, purple, and white on the plate, you're a racist. At least 70% of the ingredients should be organic and locally grown to minimize emissions from fuel burn during transportation. Well, why only 70%? Why not have all of it? You know, you can't have salt. Salt comes from sometimes the other side of the planet. Sea salt? What, are you raping the ocean of its precious minerals?
One would think, says Mr. Burns, that the Democrats in Denver have a bigger fish to bake. They've ruled out frying color coordinated pretzel planners. Democrats say the point is to build habits that will endure long after the convention. Can I tell you something? I could attend this but I'm never having a, what was it, carbon, official carbon advisor? I'm never hiring one of those people. I'm never going to ask any of my employees to paw through all of the trash, lest a fork slip through. I'm not going to make sure my garbage is pure. I'm just going to pretty much say, yeah, pretty close; haul it away. I'm never going to coordinate my plates to make sure, because I'm not going to test out the theory that nutritious food is more vibrant. If it looks good, I'll take it. Democrats say the point is to build habits that will endure long after the convention. To that end, the city has staged greening workshops attended by hundreds of caterers, restaurant owners and hotel managers. The mayor of Denver says it's the new patriotism. May I just point out something here? You know the Prius? The eco friendly car? I'm called a hate monger if I don't like Priuses. If I don't want an eco friendly car, I will kill the Earth, I'm a bad person, I need to be penalized, I need to be shut down, I can't say anything. My opinion doesn't count. My opinion is just ill informed. I'm stupid. I'm in the pocket of big oil, if I don't want to drive a Prius. If you imagine if, let's say the Bush administration would have said right after September 11th, something that he should have said, we're going to get off of foreign oil and the best way to get off of foreign oil is to reduce our consumption immediately and that's why I'm introducing this car over here. It's the Geo Metro. Well, that's what you might think, but we've renamed it. We're calling it the Geo Patriot. It's a patriotic car because it gets 50 miles per gallon. It's the new Geo Patriot. Can you imagine what Hollywood would have said if we would have said this is a patriotic car, gets you off of foreign oil. The left would have gone crazy: How dare you tell me what's patriotic. I'm tired of being told what's patriotic and what's not patriotic. Yet, the left can say the same damn thing. But, you know, it's not about the country. See, that's what makes them better than us. They care about the whole world, not just the country. They care about the entire planet and all of God, if he existed, all of God's children. Not just Americans. You small minded pea brain moron. You only care about the country. You and your patriotic car.
I would have never been able to get away with it. The President could have never gotten away with it. Hollywood would have come out and made a mockery out of the patriotic Geo, the new Geo Patriot, yet it's the same thing. It's the same damn thing that they're doing here.