GLENN: Now if you Google the headlines for Barack Obama you get these. GM chief tells Obama how to save auto industry. Obama will fight for gay rights. Obama's fresh style of politics keeps surprising. Yeah, yeah. Here's something surprising on the way he does politics. Does anybody remember this quote from October 2007? He said, "To be clear, Barack will support a filibuster of any bill that includes retroactive immunity for telecommunication companies." That's a spokesperson, Bill Burton, from the Obama campaign 2007. That's weird because now he's voting in favor of the new FISA bill that gives the telcom companies blanket immune for post September 11th eavesdropping, something that he said he would definitely filibuster. Of course, he also came out against NAFTA. Remember during the campaign? He said NAFTA, he was pledging to force a renegotiation. He would take the hammer to Canada and Mexico and threaten unilateral pullout of NAFTA? Yeah, now he says that rhetoric was a little overheated and he endorses, you know, he endorses what one of his campaign advisors said which is overheated rhetoric and posturing in Mexico. He also said he would meet with Ahmadinejad without any preconditions. Well, there's no preconditions. Now it's just a few preparations, a few preparations we've got to talk to. You know, just prepare some stuff. This guy, he is surprising. What was the headline? Fresh style of politics. Not really, but it is surprising. Love that.
Dan, put that on the calendar. Every couple of days we should do that. Let's just look at the headlines.
DAN: Sure thing.
GLENN: Here's another one. On the John McCain thing, does anybody else notice the way they just try to make him look old every step of the way? Does anybody else notice that? The John McCain is way behind online, I don't even know what that story is about. Is this -- click on it. Is this the story where John McCain is -- oh, John McCain, he doesn't even know what the Internet is. You see that? Two days ago they had Barack Obama's, they had all of his songs from his iPod. What does he listen to, what is his iPod, what's on his iPod, let's get to know him musically. I'd like to get to know him, you know, policy-wise. I don't really care what he has on his iPod. "What's he have on his iPod." John McCain, it's like he doesn't even understand what the Internet is. "Internet? I don't... there's this magic box on my desk. I don't know. And then a typewriter, I don't know where to put the paper." Have you noticed how they are making him look? There was one story out this week that says he's aware of the Internet. Members of the press... is he literate on the Internet? The President's not going to be on the Internet. The answer was John McCain is aware of the Internet, but the way it was spun was, "Uh... I'm aware of it. I... where's my shoe? Lost my shoe." I love this. Love this. It's fantastic.
You know, I saw another story today, a complete non sequitur here. I saw a story today on the things that you're supposed to know if you have kids, the things that you're supposed to know online. They give you a little test. The accurate Ms on the Internet that everybody's supposed to know. Stu, see if you even know this stuff.
STU: Okay.
GLENN: Because, you know, you're -- are you aware of the Internet?
STU: It's like the computer thing, right?
GLENN: Yeah, it's the computer thing.
STU: It's the computer thing that you pull into your phone and you dial up a number and then it connects you to the intraweb. Yeah, yeah, makes those cool noises.
GLENN: Yeah, makes those cool noises. You know what? Dan, you are one of these kids. You kids these days. Get Sarah, too. See if you guys know any of these things. I didn't know any of these.
STU: Okay. Are you aware?
GLENN: What? I... there's my shoe. Ready?
STU: Yes.
GLENN: What's this acronym stand for? POS. Anybody? Come on.
STU: POS?
GLENN: POS.
STU: Point of service.
GLENN: No, sorry.
DAN: Position?
GLENN: Dan, you're a sick, sick twisted person.
DAN: What? That's the first three letters of the word.
STU: That's what they use in the websites Dan visits.
GLENN: Yes. Look at that position, huh?
DAN: See, I didn't even think of that but thanks for --
GLENN: "I like sitting down."
Sarah, POS?
STU: She's in the middle of some nightmare.
GLENN: She's in the middle of some nightmare? Really? Is it a female thing? She's pregnant now. We don't ask Sarah a lot of things. We're just like, she's pregnant, don't ask her, she's not in a good mood. POS, parents over shoulder.
STU: Oh, yeah, yeah, I've heard that. No, I have heard of it. This isn't computer language. This is like text messaging sort of language you are talking about. Like this is --
GLENN: Text message, don't you use that on the intraweb?
STU: No, but you are not talking computer terms. You are talking like what they are going to use in chat rooms.
GLENN: Internet acronyms.
STU: Sorry. I was in the wrong frame of mind. Go ahead.
GLENN: Okay. PIR.
STU: Parents in room.
GLENN: P911.
STU: Emergency parents.
GLENN: Emergency parents?
STU: Yeah, like look out, look out, there's a -- I can't talk.
DAN: He's got it down.
STU: I talk to 12-year-olds all the time online.
GLENN: I thought it was all of a sudden you are calling emergency parents, "Hey, stop doing that, I'm here now." "Oh, my brother is, you know, whacking the cat with a spoon." Don't worry, you called emergency parents, stop whacking the cat with a spoon.
STU: Please stop talking about that.
GLENN: PAW.
STU: Parents at work.
GLENN: No, parents are watching. PAL.
DAN: Parents are listening.
GLENN: ASL.
STU: Adults swim late.
GLENN: Very close, very close. Age, sex, location.
STU: Oh, yeah. That's a big one. That's a big one. That's like the first thing you are asked when you go on the 12-year-old chat room.
DAN: And you always answer 18.
GLENN: Age, sex, location?
STU: Yeah, that's like the greeting, Glenn. It's like when you go into a room, you go up and you ask them that and then they respond so therefore you'll know -- they do this all the time on -- I know this one particularly because of Dateline because they do it all the time and they respond like 12, female, and they still keep chatting to them.
GLENN: Well, why do I need to know location? Do I have to put, like, my GPS coordinates there?
STU: Have you ever seen Chris Hansen's program?
GLENN: No, I don't -- no, uh-uh. I've seen it before.
STU: Well, these people want to know the location, Glenn. That's part of the gig.
GLENN: Right. So wouldn't this just be an alert, hi, I'm a pedophile?
STU: It could be -- like let's say you are a 16-year-old talking to another 16-year-old. Wouldn't be necessarily that way. It's an introduction, Glenn. It's like your baseball card. You know what I mean? It's like the info on the back of your baseball card. It gives you the rundown.
GLENN: M or F.
STU: That would be male or female.
GLENN: S or G.
STU: Straight or gay.
GLENN: LMIRL.
STU: Oh, this is --
GLENN: LMIRL.
STU: LMIRL?
GLENN: LMIRL.
STU: I was going to go with something like laughing my something but I don't know what it is.
GLENN: Let's meet in real life.
STU: Right, okay. Very nice.
GLENN: Yeah. KPC.
STU: That's Kentucky -- no, not chicken.
GLENN: Kentucky puked chicken?
STU: It's possible. KPC, I don't know.
GLENN: Keeping parents clueless.
STU: God, I hate children. Thank God I don't have any.
GLENN: Oh, I'm ready. I'm thinking about going, drowning mine. TD2M. No, they would be happier anyway. You can't imagine how much they were they are going to have to -- after being raised by me, you have no idea. TD2M.
DAN: This is like child molester bingo.
GLENN: It is, it is. Bingo! TD2M. Talk dirty to me. I see this, TD2M, I lock my kid in the attic.
STU: Yeah, it's definitely a murder spree inducer.
GLENN: No, no, not for the kids. I just lock them in the attic. When you're 40, you can come downstairs.
STU: You go murder the 40-year-old because you have his age, his sex and location, you just start killing everyone there.
DAN: If you know what TD2M is, you need to be put in jail.
GLENN: Unless you are John McCain and then you are just too old to be President.
STU: Right, of course.