Obama Energy Ad
GLENN: So he's got this new ad out where I want you to help me figure this one out. I want you to help me figure this out. In the ad -- do we have the ad, Dan? Just play the line. Go ahead. Here it is.
VOICE: On gas prices, John McCain's part of the problem. He and Bush support a drilling plan that won't produce a drop of oil for seven years. McCain will give more tax breaks to big oil. He's voted with Bush 95% of the time. Barack Obama will make energy independence an urgent priority, raise mileage standards, fast-track technology for alternative fuels, a $1,000 tax cut to help families as we break the grip of foreign oil. A royal plan and new energy.
SENATOR OBAMA: I'm Barack Obama and I approved this message.
GLENN: It doesn't say anything. There are so many problems with this ad, I don't even know where to start. With a tone of shock it says, "John McCain and George Bush support a plan that won't produce a drop of new oil for seven years." I mean, we could save an awful lot of time here, you know. I mean, is the country this stupid? If the country is this stupid that just buys, "John McCain and George Bush support a plan that won't produce a new drop of oil for seven years." If we're that stupid, you know what, let's do More-On Trivia or something. Let's just have a fun time because we're too stupid to stand on our own. We deserve to collapse. It's hopeless if we believe this. That's -- oh, my gosh, do you know that he -- he's got a plan. John McCain has a plan that won't produce a new drop of oil for seven years, but just in the off chance that America's not this stupid, let's go through some of this. Where to begin, where to begin.
Let me start here. Where are all these people going to be in seven years? Do you have plans or something that I don't know about? Is there something that you're doing in seven -- are you guys all going to the moon and you're leaving me behind? Is that what's going on? Is everybody like, "All right, just don't tell Beck. Seven years from now we're all on Mars. Space ships, remember, New Year's Eve we all go to Mars." Is that what's happening? Because I'm planning on being here in seven years. I'm planning on still needing some oil in seven years, but maybe it's just me. And China and Russia and India and Pakistan and everybody else on the planet. Is it just you guys? Is Barack calling you up? "Don't forget. Six years, 364 days, we're all gone." I'm not thinking about becoming an illegal immigrant in the Bahamas or anything. Maybe I should but I'm not. Second of all, if Democrats and people like Obama didn't get their way a decade ago, new oil would be flowing from places like, oh, I don't know, ANWR. It couldn't be seven years from now. It would be six years ago. "Barack Obama has a plan that stopped oil from getting here six years ago." What do you think about that ad? Of course, his point would be a lot easier to make if, you know, the McCain camp wasn't in the same -- you know, I mean, he doesn't support drilling in ANWR. He just came to the offshore -- maybe we should drill for something offshore. I mean, it's really hard to make the case for John McCain here. And it's cute, by the way, how Barack Obama wants to push Bush and McCain's name to each other as much as possible. Have you noticed that? John McCain, who looks at pictures, George Bush in magazines, John McCain. John McCain. Some of the same letters in John McCain as George Bush. Do you really want that for another four years? They don't support the same energy plan. Bush actually wants to drill in ANWR and doesn't support cap and trade among other minor differences. I mean, maybe Barack Obama should just be calling, you know, John McCain McBush. Yeah, another four years of McBush, or Bucain or McBucain or George John McW, come up with something a little more creative. I mean, you can do that and not tie anything to facts. You are doing a good job of not tying anything to facts and not saying anything at all and it seems to be working for you. Part of the reason it will take seven years to pump oil is because of all it environmental and regulation hurdles that the Democrats and the people in Washington have put in the way. Why will it take seven years?
And by the way, if drilling is good, if oil is good and the McCain plan is bad because it's making us wait for seven whole years, isn't it just a tad important to point out that your plan won't get us a drop of oil in seven years? It's like he has a plan that won't get us another drop of oil for seven years; ours won't, either. In fact, ours won't give you a drop of oil in seven years, won't give you oil in 70 years, 700 years, 7,000 years, 7 million years, not a stinking drop of oil from us. Your plan never gets new oil. How can you possibly criticize the time line of something you're never going to provide? Have you ever heard of the phrase, "Better late than never"? This is the quintessential example of it. Better late than never! I love that.
Obama's plan breaks down to no new oil ever because we won't need it. I promised a hope for change to a new, I don't know, pull out your butt magical technology that we have yet to crap out. But it's right around -- I feel something gurgling inside. I think I'm making something we can run our cars on. Of course, McCain is a huge proponent of new technologies as well, which isn't mentioned in this ad. He just also wants to drill and develop more nuclear plants, you know, instead of saying, here, try eating this and see what you crap out. The ad also promises to fast track new technologies. That's a good idea, except on the new technology thing because I don't really know if it's going to work. Is this what Reagan tried to do with "Star Wars" and everybody said, "Oh, we don't even know if it will even work. Why should we spend all that money to fast track it? That's new technology. That will never work." And we didn't want to fast track that. That's weird how it's all of a sudden a good idea now to fast track the new technology. Although wouldn't it be maybe more wise or equally wise to fast track new drilling or new refineries? You know, technology we know works? Wouldn't that be a good idea? Surely if we fast tracked, putting together parts of, you know, some sort of a plant that we know we have the parts to, we know we have the schematics to, we know we have the land to and we know it works. Don't you think we might be able to get it done a little faster than seven years, especially when the stuff we make we know we can burn because we have the things to burn it in. That's great. And by the way, if the attack on McCain's drilling plan is we don't want to wait, then how can Obama's plan be, "We're going to wait for the new technology to start taking hold." How is that working? How are people saying, "Yeah, they're going to crap out some new technology that we don't have yet and they are they're going to build it and then they're going to find a way to pipe it into whatever neighborhood outlet that they'll have. And then you're going to go out and buy the new vehicle that will run on this new crap that they've crapped out. It's going to be great." All in less than seven years. I mean, is there a wonder we have an energy crisis in this? We don't have an energy crisis. We have an abundance of stupidity crisis. That's what we have. I mean, if Stu --
VOICE: Breaking news. Breaking news. It's Barack Obama flip-flop breaking news.
GLENN: Just a second. I -- yes, go ahead.
STU: Wow, Glenn, these are pouring in. I didn't mean to interrupt your -- this is fascinating. You remember NAFTA?
STU: You know how Barack Obama --
GLENN: Yeah, he's going to end it. He's going to go tell Canada that --
STU: Yeah, he was trashing the primaries, he was going to bring a hammer to Canada and Mexico and bring unilateral -- you remember that. Now he's calling his previous NAFTA rhetoric overheated. It's a little overheated and he -- of course, you know that he sent a senior executive -- economy guy up to Canadians to tell them that, oh, that antitrade stuff, that was just posturing. So it's a little overheated.
GLENN: But it's not a flip-flop.
STU: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, not overheated, not a flip-flop, just overheated. Overheating enlightenment, Glenn.
GLENN: Kind of like entertaining and enlightenment.
STU: It's like the fusion of overheating and enlightenment.
GLENN: So you in the center there, what your job is to find all of the -- what the media's not calling flip-flops. Somebody who's not as enlightened as I am might call a flip-flop.
GLENN: And you're showing me the difference between --
STU: Enlightenment and flip-flop.
GLENN: Got it.
STU: There's no fusion of enlightenment and flip-flop. If you were for a flip-flop, that would be a flip-flop.
GLENN: I don't think I understand how this works but thanks a lot, Stu. That's why he's in the center and I'm -- don't you wish we could run our country on stupidity? Seriously don't you think -- do you know how far you could drive your car if you just pumped out all the stupidity of the people you work with? Seriously. You could drive to, like, California and back if you were like Tokyo. Wouldn't it be great?