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VOICE: Barack Obama, John McCain, two candidates, one winner. Fight to the bitter end. The Battle of the News Headlines.
GLENN: Okay, here it is. We're going to look at the news headlines every day and then we're going to just give you the headlines, not the story, just the headlines. We'll find a winner, just the headlines. Will it be Barack Obama or John McCain? Stu, color commentary here and your opinion before we start the game. Who's going to win, who's looking good today?
STU: As you know, Glenn, we live in a free society and a media that has balance. So I expect this to be very close. Either one on any given day could come out on top.
GLENN: Thank you very much. Let's get right to it. Headline number one, Barack Obama. Here it is, Obama leads McCain undecideds on the rise. Headline number 2 for Obama. Obama sees responsibility. Headline number 3 for Obama, radical riffs. Obama's candidacy a error shack test for the nation's minority. And headline number 4 for Obama, let Obama, the next generation, move us forward. Some halftime analysis here, Stu?
STU: Yeah, as you can see there obviously we have two very qualified people going for President, very exciting. The people are behind them and the media is showing very positive things about Barack Obama. I'm sure that will continue with John McCain.
GLENN: What are you expecting with John McCain here?
STU: Well, you know, it's interesting because he's very qualified. The guy is a war hero. He's a very accomplished senator. I can't imagine them finding anything negative.
GLENN: Do you think he's going to play a whole that Obama who was looking really bad in the whole war thing yesterday gave a speech about what to do in war. He said, I'm going to go into Pakistan. Also how wrong he was on the surge where McCain was right about the surge, do you think the press is going to point that out here?
STU: Of course they are going to point that out. You have to make sure you give both sides of the issue here and the press is very good about giving that.
GLENN: Next, second half, now we look at John McCain. Headline number 1 for John McCain. McCain shifts stance on Afghanistan. Headline number 2, facing criticism, McCain clarifies his statement on gay adoption. Headline number 3, McCain names more top fundraisers including lobbyists. And headline number 4, why does John McCain continue on bumbling.
VOICE: Once again Barack Obama comes out on top. Glowy headline after glowy headline. Gee, what a frickin' surprise. No, seriously what's next? Glenn's got a hairpiece? Yeah, thanks for the update.
GLENN: I swear to you it's real. It just looks fake. I think a hairpiece would look more real.
STU: A hairpiece they would definitely try.
GLENN: Yeah, they would. Nobody would make a hairpiece like this. All right, so here's the thing. You would think that the headlines on the day that Barack Obama takes off of his website all of the things that he said about the surge not working, you'd think that maybe somebody would point that out. Do we -- did we even make a closing for the day that John McCain wins in the battle?
STU: We did.
GLENN: Roll it, Dan.
VOICE: Once again Barack Obama comes out on top but with a -- McCain won that round? You're [BLEEP] me. Really? Let me read these again. That can't be right.
GLENN: I'm going to make a prediction. Give me the prediction sounder, Dan.
STU: Wow, a prediction. This is --
GLENN: Prediction. Right out of the chute. Right out of the chute.
STU: On day one of the Headline War?
GLENN: Day one of the Headline War.
STU: I mean, you are a soothsayer.
VOICE: And now another one of Glenn Beck's amazing predictions.
GLENN: That will be the only time that is ever heard on this radio show unless -- let me clarify -- unless I play it again to show you that it has never been played. Okay? That sounder will never, ever be played. You'll never win in the headline battle.
STU: I don't understand, Glenn. Just because you have a new church that's opened up for his competitor.
STU: I mean, we've got the media now that is essentially the Church of Obama. So I mean, when you have that sort of religious fervor for -- I mean, what do you -- I mean, is it really possible to write a headline that says, why is John McCain still bumbling? What was the name?
GLENN: What was the other headline? Hang on, I just threw it away. Hang on. What was the other headline?
STU: Why is he bumbling all the time? That's the headline to his story? We saw what the other said, some believe McCain is too old. I don't know what --
GLENN: Some believe McCain is too old. Okay, all right. So he's got that one, why does McCain keep on bumbling. This one: Let Obama, the next generation, move us forward. This is from Pravda? What is that? And they don't see it. They just don't see it. Those people are like at their typewriters over there (hitting keys on keyboard)... let Obama be king of the universe and quite possibly the reason the Big Bang happened, lead us forward where all of the Disney deer will talk to us. And they don't see it.
STU: Well, this is where the balance kicks in and an editor says we need to be balanced on this headline; day out the Bambi part and then you just get the Big Bang created it and then it's balanced. That's the sort of balance you get.