Voice: Barack Obama, John McCain, two candidates, one winner, fighting to the bitter end, the battle of the news headlines
Glenn: Okay. As you know
Glenn: As you know, every day at this time we take a look at the headlines that we've ripped out of the papers and we just look at the headlines and base we ask ourselves, based on the headlines of the day, who's wining election and as you know, the press is always very, very fair, because Stu was too much after wienie, I mean, he worked late last night, you know, on the stage show. He certainly can't come into the show and do the show today. So, filling in for Stu is my best friend in Houston, Pat Gray. Pat, what are we expecting in the battle of the headlines?
Pat: We're expecting huge things from John McCain today. John McCain, of course, is always a favorite, always a favorite in the press and I'm expecting I'm expecting a real good strong showing from John McCain over Barack Obama.
Glenn: Well, let's take a look. We have are we starting with McCain today, Dan? Do you want to start with McCain?
Dan: We usually start with Obama.
Glenn: Okay. So, let's start with McCain today. Latino Woes Curtail McCain's Wooing. McCain gets $1,930 a month from broken Social Security system, and Poll: Obama Backers More Excited Than McCain's. All right. So, we're at the half time. Kind of
Dan: John McCain didn't fair as well in the first half as we might have expected, Glenn, given the strong candidacy and the incredible campaign we've seen from John McCain so far
Glenn: And really the refs, you know? This particular sport, the refs are, you know, the journalists and they usually go for John McCain.
Dan: They often do and so I'm a little taken aback by the first half performance there from John McCain, but I'm expecting I'm expecting a real showing. He'll come back strong in the second half.
Glenn: Okay. We're we go. Headline No. 1 for Obama. Obama's War Zone Guides. Headline No. 2: Obamanomics, Barack Obama Addresses Pressing Economic Issues. Headline No. 3, Barack Obama, All The World's A Stage and Headline No. 4 swear to God this is a headline Obama's Summer Of Success.
Voice: Once again, Barack Obama comes out on top, glowing headline after glowing headline. Of Joe. What a freaking surprise. No. Seriously. What's next? Glenn's got a hairpiece? Yeah. Thanks for the update.