GLENN: This is just a theory of mine. I believe Barack Obama is actually Jerry Seinfeld. Have you seen Jerry Seinfeld together with Barack Obama? I haven't seen him. And here's my may I approach the bench, your Honor? I would like to introduce Barack Obama audio as Exhibit A. Here it is, my case, Barack Obama is actually Jerry Seinfeld and this whole campaign thing has been to launch some comedy movie or I don't know what it is, but I think he's Jerry Seinfeld. Here it is.
OBAMA: The other day I was in a town hall meeting and I laid out my plans for investing $15 billion a year, energy efficient cars and a new electricity grid and all this. Somebody said, well, what can I do? What can individuals do? So I told them something simple. I said, you know what, you can inflate your tires to the proper levels.
GLENN: No, hang on. I'm just kidding. I didn't mean that, inflate your actually I just said to him, "Hey, you got $15 billion? (Laughing)." No, no, no, no, don't worry about that because I don't need the money, no, no, I was serious about the inflating the tires thing to the proper levels.
OBAMA: And that if everybody in America inflated their tires to the proper level, we would actually probably save more oil
GLENN: Stop, stop, stop. Hang on. We would probably actually save more. We would probably I mean, are you beginning to hear the Seinfeld here just a little bit? We would probably actually begin to save more. Maybe it's just me.
OBAMA: And all the oil that we get from John McCain drilling right below his feet there, wherever it is that he was going to wherever he was going to drill.
GLENN: (Laughing). That's great. Wherever he's going to drill. I mean, what's the deal with John McCain? What's with all this drilling thing John McCain is talking about? I mean, does he think there's oil just beneath the surface of the Earth or something? That's crazy. Just hanging around down at the bottom of the Earth, does he think there's some sort of a substance under the ground that can be refined into fuel and power our cars and trucks? This guy's crazy. I mean, what's next? The same substance can be made into tires or plastic? I mean, where is this guy getting this stuff?
OBAMA: So now the Republicans are going around.
GLENN: Here it is.
OBAMA: This is the kind of thing they do. I don't understand it.
GLENN: Stop. You've got to play that again! This is a comedy routine.
OBAMA: So now the Republicans are going around.
OBAMA: This is the kind of thing they do. I don't understand it. They're going around. They are sending, like, little tire gauges.
GLENN: I just don't get this whole game of politics. They're taking something I said and trying to make a point with it? They're taking my positions and telling people about my positions? What's up with that?
OBAMA: Making fun of this idea as if this is Barack Obama's energy plan.
GLENN: They're acting like this whole tire gauge is my energy plan. Where do these guys get this stuff? What are you drinking tonight? Do we have any Republicans here tonight? You, sir, you in the front row there, you're a little overweight. Not like me with my basketball skills and my nice tight abs. No wonder you vote for the party with the elephant on front. Am I right? Guys, back me up. No, I'm just kidding, I'm just funning you, sir. No, seriously, forget the tax cuts. We need calorie cuts for the wealthiest 1%. Isn't that right, fatty fat fatso? Guys, back me up on this.
OBAMA: Now, two points. One, they know they're lying about what my energy plan is. But the other thing is they're making fun
GLENN: Stop. They're making fun. All you need is a good laugh track behind this thing. First of all, wouldn't they either be lying or making fun, or do we just get to choose like multiple choice, we can just choose the one that works for us? Do you remember those books where you used to read and it would say, like, if you want this to happen, you know, those adventure books where you would read and you would say, hmmm, I'm going to choose this adventure and you go to Page 56? I think that's what this is. It's like choose your own adventure. They're either lying or they're making fun, and the one that's making fun is much more fun.
Now listen to what he says they're making fun of.
OBAMA: About what my energy plan is. But the other thing is they're making fun of a step that every expert says would absolutely reduce our oil consumption by 3 to 4%.
GLENN: It's like these guys are being ignorant. Listen to this. I mean, every expert says it would absolutely reduce their oil consumption by 3 to 4%. By the way, don't do the math on that one because it's not even close if you actually look into it. But I figure if I say things like "Every expert" and "Absolutely" and these guys are crazy, I don't know what you're talking about, you are probably going to buy it. Speaking of buying, what's the deal on the grocery store these days? I mean, you got all these choices, paper or plastic, plastic or paper. I mean, it's crazy! What's the deal with choices? You know, it's just too much. Oh. I guess I'm not pro choice anymore (laughing). I know, I'm only joshing you, huh?
Is there any more of this thing?
OBAMA: It's like these guys take pride in being ignorant, you know?
GLENN: You know?
OBAMA: They think it's funny that they're making fun of something that's actually true.
GLENN: That's actually true.
OBAMA: They need to do their homework because this is serious business.
GLENN: Sure is.
OBAMA: Instead of running ads about Paris Hilton and Britney Spears, they should go talk to some energy experts and actually make a difference.
GLENN: Can you believe these Republicans? They're running ads with Paris Hilton in them. Of course, I compared myself to Paris Hilton months before and that was okay, but hey, what's the deal with these Republicans? I mean, what's going on? Why are all these choices?