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Glenn Beck: Battle of the Headlines

August 11, 2008
 Radio Clips

The Glenn Beck Program

VOICE: Barack Obama, John McCain. Two candidates, one winner. The Battle of the Headlines is about to begin. First here's the pregame analysis with Ted Stantley and Gary Beckers.

STU: I tell you for the first time in a long time, Gary, the 2008 presidential debate isn't the top news story on everyone's mind.

DAN: That's right, Ted. There are two other huge stories going on. John Edwards has been cheating on his cancer stricken wife. And the other event is of course, the Olympics.

STU: Yeah, the top athletes in their game, showcasing a wide variety of talented people while Edwards is competing against himself to see how big of a scumbag he can be.

DAN: I tell you Ted, Edwards is succeeding, big time. He’s in a league of his own. What a piece of crap this guy is.

STU: His reservations for hell all set and ready to go, and so is the first half.

VOICE: Here's Glenn Beck with today's headlines.

GLENN: I think they just beat up on John Edwards better than John Edwards has beaten up on him. But hey, who am I to judge. Let's go. Our first headline comes from John McCain. John McCain headline number one out of the paper today. John McCain says he needs more sleep. Headline number two, John McCain, who's the novice? And John McCain, headline number three: McCain has lived pampered, out of touch he lived in a bamboo cage! He's lived a pampered, out of touch could go off for an hour on this one lifestyle.

VOICE: It's time for halftime analysis with our own Ted Stantley and Gary Beckers.

STU: I tell you as usual not a first half that was solid for McCain. The media trying to turn conventional wisdom on its head.

DAN: Exactly right. Trying to say that McCain's the inexperienced of the two candidates and that he's the one living a pampered lifestyle.

STU: All while tossing in an old person joke, too. I tell you what’s getting old is John Edwards cheating on his cancerous wife.

DAN: The chick he hooked up with, she isn't even that hot.

STU: Not only that, she's actually unattractive in many ways.

DAN: You can say that right. She fell off the ugly tree and hit every branch and impediment.

STU: Summer teeth. Some are here, some are there.

DAN: Possibly the offspring of Helen Thomas and Sam Cassell.

STU: Was beat with the ugly paddle--wait, Helen Thomas and Sam Cassell had an affair?

VOICE: The second half starts right now. Here's Glenn Beck.

GLENN: Here we go. Barack Obama headline number one: George Clooney coaches Obama. Headline number two: Obama jogs, golfs on first full day back in Hawaii. And headline number three: AP exclusive. Obama policy book coming out September 9th.

VOICE: Once again Barack Obama comes out on top. Gee, what a frickin' surprise.

'My rights are NOT up for discussion': Michael Malice says this is how an ANARCHIST would SAVE America

Image source: Video screenshot

There's been a lot of talk about the idea of a (peaceful) "national divorce" as the Left continues to abandon everything that made America what it is. Well, this week's guest on "The Glenn Beck Podcast" is all for that divorce. Michael Malice is the author of "The Anarchist Handbook" and host of the podcast "Your Welcome." He joined Glenn to talk about how an anarchist would peacefully take on America's greatest challenges — with a smile.

"My rights are not up for discussion," Malice told Glenn. He explained why his version of America will save America, and why, in spite of anxious talk of "national divorce," he has so much hope for the future.

Watch the video clip below or find the full episode of "The Glenn Beck Podcast" here:


Want more from Glenn Beck?

To enjoy more of Glenn's masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution, and live the American dream.

Is this new, ‘HORRIFYING’ curriculum taught in YOUR kid’s school?

There are new curriculum standards being implemented into schools throughout the nation for health classes that not only go far beyond what's appropriate for young children, but are entrenched in clear political biases, too. Under the standards, third-graders are taught about hormone blockers and endless gender identities, and topics get shockingly graphic for kids as young as 11. Some schools are even teaching their teachers and kids to ignore what parents have to say about these topics. And the worst part may be that many parents are completely unaware what their children are being taught.

Tina Descovich, co-founder of Moms for Liberty, joined "The Glenn Beck Program" to explain exactly what you can ask at your next school board meeting to ensure this "horrifying" curriculum isn't being taught in your kid's school.

Watch the video clip below:

Want more from Glenn Beck?

To enjoy more of Glenn's masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution and live the American dream.

Glenn Beck: Did you hear Biden's Great Reset WARNING SHOT to Banks?

It should come as no surprise that a newsworthy story receives more media coverage when released on a Monday than a Friday. The reason is in part due to a large number of news-consuming Americans checking out for the week to focus on their weekend plans rather than the news.

On Monday's radio program, Glenn Beck shared information that President Joe Biden decided to release on Friday — when fewer people would notice — regarding the Climate Finance report. This report is marketed to Americans as "A Roadmap To Build a Climate-Resilient Economy." But Glenn believes the report to be Biden's Great Reset warning shot to banks.

In this clip, Glenn warned that if Americans don't stand together, in eight years we all indeed will own nothing. Watch the clip for the full story. Can't watch? Download the podcast here.



Want more from Glenn Beck?

To enjoy more of Glenn's masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution, and live the American dream.

Bill O'Reilly: Mark Zuckerberg spent $419.5 million to influence the 2020 election

On today's radio program, Glenn Beck was joined by Bill O'Reilly to discuss the top stories of the week.

For O'Reilly, the biggest story this week centered around someone mysteriously missing from mainstream media news reports today: Mark Zuckerberg. Specifically, O'Reilly said it's the 'scandalous' way the Facebook CEO spent nearly $420 million to influence the 2020 election — and did so successfully.

Watch the clip to hear the full conversation. Can't watch? Download the podcast here.

Want more from Glenn Beck?

To enjoy more of Glenn's masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution and live the American dream.