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GLENN: And then, and then it happens. I'm reading the New York Times from yesterday. Maureen Dowd. Headline? Bush on vacation. After eight years the President's gut remains gullible. He'll go out as he came in, ignoring reality, failing to foresee, prevent or even prepare for disasters, misinterpreting intelligent reports, misreading people and handling crises in ways that make them exponentially worse. That doesn't sound like a definition of congress, does it? Does that sound anything like congress? "He spent 469 days of his presidency kicking back at his ranch and 450 days cavorting at Camp David. But there's still time to mountain bike through another historic disaster." Kicking back at his ranch? Kicking back at his ranch? Bush should take the cue from Nancy Pelosi. She's working hard. She's selling those books. She's, right now she's like, please, please, somebody, please, won't you listen to me. It's a good book. Please read it. Here, just read this page, will you just read this page? A dime, a dime? Okay, here. 5 cents. A quarter of this page, just read a quarter of this page, please, please, please, please, please! She's working hard. I mean, all that Bush is doing, you know, is just having the daily briefings and holding regular meetings and, you know, the other briefings that he usually gets at the White House.
You know, Maureen, there's one thing that I don't know if you know because you work for a newspaper, which was so cool in the 1800s. Seriously. Newspapers? They were so great. I'll even take it back in, like, 1965, you know. I've seen the old movies and they're like, "What's the headline, Bill?" And they're like, "President Kennedy looks like he has been shot." "Oh, I remember the headline that day." Those are great. Those newspapers. Now they're good for, like, when you move or something which, Nancy, might happen. Just saying. When you're moving, just take those newspapers and, you know, you can just you do this (crumpling) And then you put them, like, inside the glasses and around the glass and then they don't break if they're in a box. Of course, that's cardboard and so you liberals probably wouldn't want to use a cardboard box to move, or newspapers. Which is weird, Maureen Dowd. Why are you writing for a newspaper? How many trees do you have to get? Anyway, I digress. Anyway, so you work for a newspaper and that usually takes at least a couple of days to deliver information. So perhaps you weren't aware of this, but they have this thing at Camp David and at Crawford, and a lot of people I hear have it in their homes. It's called the I could be wrong on this the intraweb. It's the information superhighway. And so you can just, you know, just type things in and, boom, it's right there. You don't have to you know, you don't have to wait for the press. "Stop the presses," you don't have to wait for that. Just, boom, it's right there. And then they have something else. This is new governmental, government technology. I don't believe this is and I don't want to release any national secrets but I believe they have something called the... tele... I'm not sure, but you can hear someone's voice from a great distance. It's amazing. It's amazing. Sometimes you can even see them. I hear in the future you can they will be able to transmit pictures in the air. That's crazy. It's crazy. So it's and it was your President, and this doesn't happen. I mean, you have to be like the you have to be the President and think 30 years down the road. Sometimes, if you're the President, you can be on your ranch and people will, in the future, fly in, like, a giant metallic bird like vehicle and it will fly you from one place to another. It's crazy. The President, they say, someday will have one of these bird like vehicles that will also have a box in there that will transmit and receive moving pictures. I know, but that technology's right around the corner. We should, we should pour all of our resources into that moving picture technology thing.
By the way, I don't know if she's ever watched the magic box that's in her living room. But Maureen, if you've ever watched the magic box, there's a show that I know you'd love. It's called the West Wing. I learned that Camp David is in a place where the zip wires are there and obstacle courses. I could see George Bush (laughing) as he's, you know, doing the tire thing where he's getting each foot in (laughing) and running down the tire obstacle course. I know that's what it seems like and then he and Dick Cheney are roasting marshmallows at night. But I learned this through Martin Sheen only. Martin Sheen solved the Palestinian/Israeli conflict all in one hour there in Camp David. And all he did was say, just like this, "Get along, damn it." That was fantastic. I don't know why our evil Bush doesn't do that: "Get along, damn it. (Laughing). Try to cool tire thing." I'm just sayin'.
Anyway, Maureen continues. She says, as Russian troops continue to man handle parts of Georgia on Friday, President Bush chastised Russian leaders that bullying and intimidation are not acceptable ways to conduct foreign policy in the 21st century. And then he flew off to Crawford. Sound familiar with? Hmmm. Who's going on vacation while there's an energy crisis? I don't let me think for a second. Oh, I know, the Democrats. "No, couldn't be." They're the Democratic party. The action league for the American people. When there is trouble, call us (phone ringing). "Action league for the men people here." "Yes, is this the Democratic party?" "Yes." "I'd like you to solve the oil crisis thing that's going on right now." "Leave a message after the tone. We're not here. On vacation." I mean, what?
By the way, do you remember back in 2003 when the Democrats and those in the media like Maureen Dowd joined forces with the nations around the world to condemn George W. Bush and his hate mongering? "There, he's doing nothing but hate mongering." They did their best to tear the U.S. down, you know, just to stop the evil Iraq war. You know, if we would have just been united. If we would have just all gotten along, things wouldn't have been this horrible." Thank goodness for those antiwar countries like France and Germany. What's the other country that the liberals were saying, you know, even those guys don't what was it? It was France and Germany and oh, there's another peace loving country out there that was definitely not evil. It was oh, I remember. Russia. They were so great, weren't they?
Maureen continues: We knew we could count on the cheerleader and chief to be jumping around like a kid in Beijing with bikini clad beach volleyball players while the re evil empire was sending columns of tanks into the former Republic." Wait a minute. Hang on just a second. Hang on. The cheerleader and chief, that's a good one. What a crazy guy that George W. Bush is really. Always trying to be diplomatic to countries when everybody knows, including Maureen Dowd, what a bad idea it is to be diplomatic. He should have just come out and called them evil. You know what I mean? If he just said, "Those evil bastards, we should nuke them," then I'm sure the New York Times and Maureen Dowd would have said, "Tough times call for tough action." They definitely wouldn't have said, "What a cowboy, what a renegade, what a crazy person. Why can't we just get along? Why call evil by its name?" No. I mean, you know, what idiots could possibly think that talking to leaders of unfriendly nations would be a good idea? They would have said, "No, we can't talk to them, we need action, call them evil. You know, go in there with guns ablazing right away." What idiot's going to think that talking to unfriendly nations would be a good idea? Oh, I remember. The Democrats. That's who it was. It must be very taxing to be this inconsistent. I mean, you've just got to sleep like 18 hours a day.
