|Related Story: Wind turbines make bat lungs explode|
GLENN: The exploding bats I think we have to I mean, it's a very big problem, the wind turbines now, the environmentalists. And don't laugh. What's wrong with you people? It's not cool to laugh at exploding bats. The wind turbines, the environmentalists have come out and said you can't use wind power, it makes bats explode and it's not because they run into the blades. Those are birds that do that. What, are you happy killing the birds? Now, because of the change in the wind or something, it makes the bats' lungs explode.
STU: It's like the bends, Glenn. You know the bends, when you're like SCUBA diving.
STU: And then you have the whole bends thing with the lungs.
STU: And they don't and then the that's what's happening.
GLENN: Do you know what country kills more bats than any other country on planet Earth? Think about, which country, which country which country cares the least about animals?
STU: The least about animals, that would be the United States of America.
GLENN: And do you have any evidence of that?
STU: Yeah. President Bush.
GLENN: Dick Cheney, Point 2, Dick Cheney, George Bush.
STU: Donald Rumsfeld.
GLENN: Let me give you those are all great answers, okay? But let me give you this for those who want to go the unnecessary. Even mentioning this kind of stuff after you've said George Bush and Dick Cheney, it's almost what did Keith Olbermann say? It's almost foolish to have to say it out loud. But let me go a step further, okay? What is the problem with bats? Why are the bats exploding?
STU: The wind power.
GLENN: Wind power. What country is the number one generator of wind power on planet Earth?
STU: Oh, obviously France.
GLENN: No. No, no, no. Number one.
STU: Oh, the Netherlands.
GLENN: No. No, no, no. Number one. More wind generated power than any other.
STU: Finland. Finland.
STU: Sweden? Switzerland?
DAN: You are thinking too small. It's got to be a big country.
GLENN: Put these together. Who is killing bats faster than anyone else?
STU: Iceland is killing bats?
GLENN: No, Iceland is not it.
GLENN: Guys! Let's start over. Stu?
GLENN: Why are the bats dying?
STU: The bats are dying because of wind power.
GLENN: Okay. What country kills more bats than anybody else? What country hates animals more than any other country?
STU: You are saying wait. Maybe I'm misunderstanding the question. You are saying because we know wind power is clean. It's clean energy.
GLENN: It's clean. So okay, let's try that. Okay, let's go that way. Because that means let me speak your language. Okay. What country, what country generates more clean energy from the wind.
STU: Right, okay.
GLENN: Than any other country, because it's because we're the leaders in the world, because the rest of the world waits for this country to lead the way. What country is leading the way on clean wind power?
STU: You keep putting it some weird way but when you say it that way, obviously Belgium.
DAN: Stu, you missed it. He obviously meant England.
STU: Oh, the U.K., was it Ireland? Or is it oh, idiots, idiots, idiots. Greenland!
DAN: Our bad.
GLENN: Am I being produced by Ben Affleck and Matt Damon? Okay, here's the deal. I'm just going to come clean with you. Surprisingly enough the largest generator of wind power, the country leading the way for the rest of the world is... America. The United States of America. That's this one. That's crazy. Who knew. You'd think that the rest of the world would be moving in that direction since we're leading the way. It's crazy. You'd think somebody would point that out. "Hey, good for us. We're leading the way." Hmmm. I didn't know that.
Here's when I found it out. Killing bats. Wind power's changing the pressure of the air around the windmills. I don't know. It might have been the aroma of tulips that stopped this from happening in Holland when they did it oh, so many years ago. But wind power here in the United States is actually killing bats. I'd like to know why you hate bats so much. I'd like to know how you can where you get off of saying, "I want to run my toaster. I want, I want my " well, why don't we just squeeze bats and use bat juice to run your microwave oven, Mr. Animal hate monger. Why don't we just torture bats so you can get to work in an air conditioned car. You clearly are not truly for the Pickens plan, are you? Oh, and you're going to destroy the bat population.
By the way, there was another study out that said that the vibrations are causing headaches and nausea and all kinds of things with people. Whatever. The bats are dying. And let me tell you something. You may not take the bat population seriously but maybe that's because you've never met a bat. Oh, you just think of them as this animal that has been made to dress up like a vampire. Sure, sure. Let the movie be your stereotype, okay? These are God's only handicapped creatures, all of them. Did you know this? All of them born blind. Oh, you think it's funny. "Oh, you're blind as a bat." Really? Funny, Mr. Hate monger that wants to kill them with wind power? That's why on tomorrow's program we're going to be asking for people who have sick mice or gerbils to ship us their eyes so we can transplant your dying gerbil eyes into bats. It's Bat Doctors Without Borders. It's a new program. It's a new program. We'll debut it on tomorrow's show. Just leaving it there, hate monger. I'm just leaving it there.