Big speech tonight for McCain. Glenn offered some great content advice for the Senator---but I don’t know if he went far enough. I am offering FIVE key last minute speech tips for McCain that he can use to guarantee a convention bump of at least 30 points. Every candidate who has ever used my FIVE key speech tips has seen huge results*.
1) LESS IS MORE – People are busy these days---so why don’t you follow the ‘less is more’ rule. Try not talk about your policies that conservatives hate and only talk about the ones they like. In this case you should be able to finish your speech in about 30-45 seconds. Plenty of time to get home and watch some Murder, She Wrote on TV.
2) WE GOT IT – For the love of Pete, do NOT tell the POW story. You are a war hero---we got it, understood. You do remember what happened to John Kerry when he constantly tried to talk about his war heroism, don’t you?
3) TALK TO SARAH - Ask Governor Palin if she’ll dress up in old person drag and do the speech for you. This one could be tough because you’ll need Hollywood help to make Palin look like passable for John McCain. Actually, scratch that one---it’s impossible.
4) INSTANT REPLAY – Don’t show up. Call in sick, call in old---whatever. Just don’t show up. And just replay Palin’s speech on the big screen.
5) BE A GENTLEMAN – Be a gentleman and step aside. Literally. Step down as presidential candidate and nominate Sarah Palin. In fact, don’t even worry about the VP thing. We’ll get Mitt Romney or Megyn Kelly or someone like that to do it. Don’t you want to retire or something? Think about it, John!
ADD MOMENT: a Sarah Palin/Megyn Kelly ticket…interesting…very interesting indeed.
*No one has ever used my speech tips. Ever.