Could a French made black hole destroy the earth tonight as you sleep? Scientist say probably not, but check back tomorrow....
GLENN: You know they start that Super Collider tomorrow? So I don't know what time it starts up. The Bible says that no man shall know the date or the time. I'm thinking tomorrow around 8:30 ish? So grab an early dinner, grab your kids and then we'll all be sucked into a black hole tomorrow around 8:30.
STU: Glenn, we have a fact check on that.
GLENN: Do you?
STU: Yes, U.S. time, the end of the world will come tonight.
GLENN: Ooh, tonight? What time tonight?
STU: I believe actually, no, it's what's it saying? Yeah, tonight, it's evening tonight but it's actually early morning in Europe.
GLENN: Oh. Wow.
STU: So we really want to make sure if you have plans
GLENN: Who is getting the better deal? Who is getting the better deal? Let's look at this for a second. Is Europe getting a better deal because they are getting up and going to have breakfast or are we getting the better deal because, you know, we go to sleep and then it's all you know they say nothing better than dying in your sleep. They've got to get up, start the day. They're in the shower and they're like, oh, crap, world didn't end. And then all of a sudden they are sucked into a black hole. And they are surrounded in the morning, they have to be reminded, they are surrounded by Europeans. You know what I mean?
STU: Yeah, that's true. You know, I'm not an astrophysicist, though, Glenn.
GLENN: Right, yeah. Well, I am. You know I am.
STU: No, I know you are. That's why
GLENN: Well, I'm more of an astrophysicist commentator than an actual astrophysicist.
STU: Right. Like you've been demoted from actual astrophysicist down to
GLENN: Oh, I can't look, I can't anchor the debates on astrophysitry.
STU: Right. Astrophysitry is out of your
GLENN: I can comment on it, yeah, I can comment.
STU: What's happening is I
GLENN: I have strong points of view on.
STU: On gravity. You are pro gravity.
GLENN: Pro gravity.
STU: Pro supernova.
GLENN: I'm antisun spot. I'm antisun spot.
STU: I would say that's true.
GLENN: I'd like to put and I don't know why we've never done this. I think we should put a nice soothing cream on the sun to get rid of some of those sun spots. You know what I mean?
STU: They have that new laser surgery.
GLENN: Just take, like, Oil of Olay and shoot it at the sun. That's just one of the things I've been working on.
STU: Right, but you are just a commentator, you are not an actual
GLENN: I'm a commentator. I'm not an actual
STU: But my thought is when you say it's great to fall asleep, to die after you've fallen asleep, which I think is true, I believe as an astrophysicist commentator maybe you can help me that you would probably wake up when the black hole started sucking you into it. Is that it seems like that would be a
GLENN: No, but listen to this. You're in bed. Imagine yourself in bed. And what happens with you know, if you are an astrophysicist, you would know this. What happens when a black hole opens up? What happens?
STU: I picture it makes a really loud (making noises) sort of noise.
GLENN: Wouldn't escape.
STU: Like a toilet.
GLENN: No, bends light, bends everything. So it's opening up, completely silent. Let's say your alarm goes off and you can't hear it because the sound and everything is bending right towards the and even if you do wake up and you see, oh, wow, the alarm clock is being sucked into the floor, that means I don't have to get up, you're feeling pretty good, aren't you?
STU: But you are awake at this point. This is
GLENN: But you are awake and is there anything better than waking up and seeing that the alarm clock says 1:30 and you are like, oh, thank goodness, I've got four more hours of sleep?
STU: Wait, if it's bending light, would you be able to read it?
GLENN: That's even better.
STU: You think there's nothing better than waking up and not being able to read your alarm clock?
GLENN: You're like, oh, the alarm clock power must be out, oh well. And then you are sucked into a black hole. Even if you are sucked into a black hole and you can't read the alarm clock, what difference does it make. It's happening at 8:30 tomorrow. No, wait a minute. You have the time change. It could be happening at 1:30 this morning.
STU: It's supposed to be tonight, American time. American time. Speak American, on American time. Remember that.
GLENN: All right. Have they done any more research on, you know, the other side of the argument, on how this big Super Collider is going to cause these black holes and be the "End of the universe"?
STU: Well, you disclosed yesterday that they said they are pretty sure that it's not going to happen.
GLENN: Yeah, French scientists said they are not they have done a lot of research and they are pretty sure that won't happen. I think that's I don't need any more. I don't need any more. I mean, you know, the global warming thing, you know, is it manmade, is it being caused by man. If you stop driving your SUVs, will it make a difference, can we afford it, that debate is over. But I'm glad we didn't even have a movie about the whole we're pretty sure we're not creating black holes that will open up, you know, inside the Earth and then suck the Earth into it.
STU: I can see that maybe I can see that side of it. I don't know that it's necessary, but I can see
GLENN: I mean, I'm not antiscience, I'm really not. I just think that we should maybe be a little more sure. The recreating of the conditions after the Big Bang. Okay, all right. What exactly is that trying to prove? You know what I mean? What exactly are we I know we're going to learn a lot from it. I want to know what we're learning from it, you know? Everybody says like for instance do you know this whole garbage about, you know, "Sarah Palin wants creationism taught in schools." No, she doesn't. No, she doesn't.
STU: That's a lie.
GLENN: She just doesn't think that it and this, by the way, from Newsweek. She just doesn't think it should be shunned. Here's what she is trying to avoid. That if somebody raises their hand and says, well, what about creationism, that the teacher shouldn't say, ahhhh! And then put the whole school in lockdown. That you should be able to have the conversation about any of it.
STU: Yeah, and she
GLENN: I know that's crazy.
STU: She actually has a pretty libertarian view of that, that at the local level you should be able to decide what you're teaching, the parents should be able to decide what's being taught rather than, you know, the state or even the federal level, which is obviously
GLENN: That's crazy.
STU: Who would ever think. Hey, Glenn, by the way, today we're doing the Super Collider happens to be an article in Fusion that's coming up and it's going to be in the newsletter today in the free e mail newsletter today. So if you want to because it's actually a real thing. We're not just BS'ing you. It's an actual real thing, the Super Collider that may end the world. It's a scary scenario.
GLENN: You better get it today because tomorrow and listen, when you get the free newsletter, open it today because it will as you don't see the time on the clock because it's already been sucked into the black hole like at 1:30, you are going to say, oh, crap, I wish I would have known about the Super Collider, and you are not going to have the opportunity to do it.
STU: That's a very good point. Doesn't this also, Glenn, make incredibly good argument? This is what's going to happen. There's going to be something like this that you're not going to see coming. Just some French scientist is going to turn the key on some device and we're all going to get sucked into a black hole. Isn't this a great argument to not let every little daily thing bother you, to not get too fired? We're not going to have to worry about global warming. Eventually a black hole is going to suck us into the center of the Earth.
GLENN: Wouldn't that be great, though? Seriously would you be pissed off or would you be okay with it?
STU: With a black hole sucking?
GLENN: You know I think my dark side is growing stronger and stronger. What's more, as I get more and more tired, got a good life but I'm more of an eternal kind of thing now. It's like, whatever. So we're sucked into a black hole. I won't have to do the debates. I mean, I don't have to listen to Keith Olbermann for the next two months. That's going to be bring the black hole on. Is it just me?
STU: No, definitely not you on that one, yeah.
GLENN: Okay, good. I really am getting so tired of it all that it's and I'm sleepy. You know? I'm always sleepy. I was having dinner with some people out in California last night. It was like 8:30 Pacific time and I was just like, look, whatever, I don't really care. I was just so sleepy. "Would you like some dessert?" Whatever, bring it on, don't bring it on. "Glenn, aren't you worried about weight gain?" Nope. (Laughing). Not at all.
STU: Is cholesterol going to be a problem in the middle of the black hole? Is it?
GLENN: Nope, not at all.
STU: It really is, though. When you put it in perspective, it's never what you expect that's going to end it all for you. I mean, you might as well live a good happy life and stop bothering yourself.
GLENN: Let me ask you this. Let me ask you this. Do you remember the days when you and I this is like ten years ago when you and I actually used to have the discussions on, what do you say we just go for the record on how fat we can get. Do you remember that?
GLENN: I'm back into that mentality now.
GLENN: I really just don't give a flying crap. I really don't.
STU: You do realize you have a television show.
GLENN: I don't care. I don't care. You know, they can say, you know, Glenn Beck fills the screen. Yep, give me another doughnut.
STU: You do realize you have a very attractive wife.
GLENN: I am using whatever. I'm using every bit of that wide screen technology. I just don't
STU: It's not high definition.
GLENN: I mean, whatever. Whatever.
STU: This is interesting. Can we follow you, like a reverse, you know, reality show? Like the biggest not the biggest loser but, like, the biggest gainer? Like, can we follow this process? Because I feel like I'd like to see the graphs and the big weigh in with you in your sports bra.
GLENN: Oh, I'm ready for a sports bra. I am. I'm like, Tania, those comfortable at all? These are starting to hurt when I'm bouncing around in the hallway.
STU: When I'm running to doughnut shack. I mean, we all need support, Glenn, we all need support.
GLENN: I know, I know, that's what I'm looking for, a support group, one that will help me support these giant man breasts.