MSNBC's Keith Olbermannn
Glenn: Comrades, we now go to our favorite comrade, Olbermann, Keith Olbermann from State Channel 1. Yesterday he was -- he was on The View and he talked about his vote.
Voice: You never voted -- Keith, I was reading that you don't vote. Did you really mean that and did you vote this time?
Voice: I don't need. It's the only thing I can do that suggests even that I don't have a --
Voice: Then how can be angry and have a platform if you don't vote and speak on --
Voice: Are you taking a lot for granted?
Voice: No. It's a symbolic gesture.
Voice: That would favor Obama. I'm sorry.
Glenn: It's a symbolic gesture to show that I don't have a horse in this race. While I have put giant wads of cash down at the window, I don't actually own the horse. While I've been poisoning all of the other horses there in their stalls, I don't actually own a horse. Some people say to me, Keith, you know, one thing that might be good is if instead of making a symbolic gesture of not voting, which some might say is just flat out stupid, you might make a -- it even more consequential symbolic gesture and, that is, stop with the lopsided propaganda and that might -- that might be even more of a gesture that you don't have a horse in the race. I mean, I thought fondling yourself while watching the acceptance speech might have been a little over the top, Keith, it's good to know you didn't do your American duty and vote. So -- and I appreciate the fact that you did leave your boxers on for most of the campaign. I think that's disturbing, quite frankly.
Stu: I swear to you, they said that Olbermann hadn't voted and never voted in his life. Was he trying to maintain his aura of neutrality when he was on with Dan Patrick on sports have?
Glenn: Yeah, when he was on ESPN.
Stu: I don't know. Does he want Ross Perot or not? I don't know.
Glenn: I've got a -- I just need some neutrality here on this game. A lot of people say I'm a -- you know, I'm a Yankees fan and that's why I didn't vote for George Bush. What? Excuse me while I --
Stu: Why are you going to the window?
Glenn: Because I have -- you don't have his direct line?
Stu: No, I do not have his direct line.
Glenn: I'm Keith Olbermann's direct line.
Stu: Why are you opening the window?
Glenn: I'm opening the window because, see, we're on stop of the stage of New York City.
Stu: Yes, I know that, yes.
Glenn: You see what's right across the street?
Stu: That's 30 Rock.
Glenn: That's 30 Rock.
Glenn: You see that window right over there?
Glenn: That's MSNBC.
Stu: Okay. I didn't know that.
Glenn: Hey, Keith, you're a piece of garbage! I can't hear him. I don't know if he's screaming back to me.
Stu: Yeah, I don't know, either, although I think you're aura of neutrality on Keith Olbermann might be gone after that.
Glenn: My what?
Stu: Your aura.
Glenn: I didn't vote for him or against him.
Stu: So, you're neutral.
Glenn: I don't have a Nielsen box. So, it's a -- Stu, it's a small gesture.
Stu: A symbolic one.
Glenn: It's a small, symbolic gesture just to show that I don't have a horse in this race.
Stu: Yeah. You've certainly made a symbol of something.
Glenn: I've spent quite a long time now, just in the last few minutes, just saying Keith Olbermann, a pox upon you and your house, but I'm impartial.
Stu: You know, there's another symbolic gesture that has been flashed at Keith Olbermann quite a bit: It involves one finger.
Glenn: That's saying you are No. 1, Keith. You are No. 1.
Stu: It doesn't involve a vote.
Glenn: It's symbolic, yeah. It was really good to be over at Fox this morning. Have you been over there yet, Stu? You don't want to hang yourself.
Stu: At the Fox News channel?
Glenn: Yeah. You know, I really -- and I mean this sincerely, I liked working over at CNN. I liked being the other guy. Do you know what I mean? I liked the fact that they'll be, like, no, that didn't come from a guy on Fox? No, huh-uh. A guy from CNN. I liked that a lot. The elevator rides, Whoo. Today I walk over there and I thought, I don't need a stool where I just have to kick it out from underneath me. Do you know what I mean? It was like such a -- wait until you go over there. They were, like, nice. I mean, they were excited.
Stu: Right. Well, I mean, you would actually be surprised how few people outside of yourself want to kill themselves on a daily basis in almost any scenario.
Stu: Yeah. That's --
Glenn: I watch Keith Olbermann. Just a symbolic gesture and Glenn Beck, in a symbolic gesture, was watching Keith Olbermann and hung himself. The least I could do, Keith, just to show I don't have a horse in the race.