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GLENN: So this weekend, you know, I get away from the house a couple of days ago and I'm just hanging out in the bathroom trying to pick up chicks at football games and -- what? I mean, I find that that's the place that is just romantic. Stu, am I alone?
STU: Oh, no, no. It's one of the hottest places to meet women.
GLENN: It is?
STU: To meet interesting singles in your area.
DAN: That's where my wife and I met.
GLENN: Is it really?
STU: I didn't know that, Dan.
GLENN: Now, did you guys meet and talk before you had sex in the bathroom at the stadium?
DAN: No, of course we got that out of the way first and then we decided to talk after.
STU: I think the most intimate --
GLENN: Whatever. I'm sorry. I didn't catch your name. The toilet was flushing.
STU: It's important to make sure that you -- because you are not going to talk before the sex obviously. But I think it's much more intimate if you talk during it, at least get the -- exchange maybe first names, maybe your sign, maybe what team you're there rooting for. I think that's important. And who is your favorite player, like who is your favorite retired player from the team. There's a lot of things to talk about why you are having bathroom sex at the Metrodome.
GLENN: I'm sorry. Were you talking about something else? I was talking about me. Are you trying to make this about somebody else other than me? Who else is doing that? I mean, gosh, I thought I was the only person that was having sex at football stadiums in the bathroom, just random sex.
STU: I assure you you are not, Glenn.
GLENN: Oh, wow.
STU: If you watch late night TV, you might see a lot of these singles lines where they say, meet all the singles, they are fantastic, and there is some model who would never, ever be on the line pitching the phone number. They need to start running them for football game bathrooms.
GLENN: Can I ask you, have we seen a picture of this woman yet who had the bathroom sex?
DAN: There is one, yeah.
GLENN: In case you don't know what happened, when did this happen? Last weekend?
STU: I saw the story this weekend. So I don't know when the actual --
GLENN: So she was having -- she went up to the bathroom and she was drunk and she went into the bathroom. She has casual bathroom sex with some guy. Now she is saying that she's a victim because she was too drunk to know what she was doing. Alcoholics, can we have a talk here? I'm tired of people using our excuse. You know what I mean? I'm sorry, but that belongs to alcoholics, "We didn't know what we were doing." And only alcoholics really, truly understand. Yeah, we did, yes, we did. We knew everything we were doing, up until the blackout point. Now, if you are at a blackout point, the next step, by the way, if you are having blackouts is death, okay? You've had so much alcohol that your system is shutting down everything it needs except for respiratory. It's shutting everything else down. You got nothing going on upstairs. So you do something during a blackout, okay, we'll talk. But that means you should really be at the hospital or at AA because the next step for you is death. So was she having blackouts? If she wasn't having blackouts, I don't believe you. Because believe me, I'm a -- the only thing I'm good at is being drunk. That I'm a pro at. I had that mastered. I had that down. I know how to drink my face off, and I know that I knew exactly what I was doing all the time. I wasn't in alcohol, but I thought I was. Alcohol only -- unleash the monster! Let out the monster! All it does is it makes you who you think you are. It allows you to be who you think you are. It takes down the barriers, and you know.
So by the way, this woman -- and she's a class act. She had her children and her husband there waiting for her.
STU: I don't know that the children were there. I know the husband, he was sitting in the seat probably eating, you know, nachos watching the game while she was up having sex in the bathroom.
GLENN: But she didn't know.
STU: Right. Well, she's claiming she doesn't remember any of it and she's also claiming -- her new thing is several days after the case is that she thinks her drink was drugged because there's no way she could be that drunk by the amount that she had which, of course, would lead some to assume that maybe she wasn't that drunk and she just had sex because she's a slut. But that's only some people.
GLENN: Now, come on, don't say she's a slut.
STU: I'm not saying. I'm saying some people, there are some people in existence who would say that.
DAN: And some people are the ones who were in attendance cheering her on, by the way, we forgot to mention that.
STU: Yeah, dozens of witnesses who say there wasn't a sexual assault of any kind.
GLENN: Hmmm? I missed the cheering section.
DAN: There was a crowd watching and cheering them. That's how they got caught. There was commotion in the bathroom.
STU: And this is not to make them look like there's some loosey-goosey people. They were in the stall. You should know that they were in the stall. People were watching through the little hole, you know, in between the stall. I don't want to make them sound bad by saying people were watching, like they were out in public or something. They were clearly in the stall and the stall was closed.
GLENN: Oh, okay. Hang on just a second. Was this in the male bathroom or the female bathroom?
STU: Oh, in the male bathroom, Glenn. That would be way out of line if they did it in the female bathroom.
STU: I know at one point, I believe it was George Michael who said -- I forget.
GLENN: I again ask you, who are we turning into? Who are we turning into? Who have we become? I mean, look at the stories that are in the news, you know? There's a lot of good things, but my gosh. You know, this woman, she's lost her job. How come she lost her job? Stu, Dan?
STU: I guess because of the -- I mean, she's apparently been getting phone calls from people. She's been apparently, you know --
GLENN: Saying what?
STU: You know like pranks. Her name has been public. So people are pranking her, they are making fun. Some of the stuff obviously goes over the line. As far as her leaving -- I can't remember what her job was. I believe it was something like dealing with clients. So how do you effectively deal with a client?
GLENN: She had been dealing with clients.
STU: Well, apparently she could make a lot of sales.
GLENN: I don't know. There was no money exchanged.
STU: That's true. I don't want to -- again --
GLENN: That she remembers.
STU: I'm not trying to smear her by saying that she's a prostitute. She's clearly just a slut.
GLENN: Can you look that up? Because I don't know, I'm not sure if "Slut" technically is a -- is not a job title as well. See what I mean? Now, can I ask you, why have we concentrated on just her the whole time?
STU: I mean, she's the one saying -- she's the one coming up with all the claims, the retroactive claims of drugging but, no, we know who the guy is. His name is in the press, too, and I have it in front of me. But, you know, I mean, you can say --
GLENN: I'm just saying, hey, yeah.
DAN: Right time, right place, baby.
GLENN: I think he is just saying, hey, look, you know, it's a -- it's a public indecency I believe they were charged with.
DAN: Nobody's caught up with him yet. The press hasn't been able to --
STU: Are you going to fine him?
GLENN: Wait, wait, wait. Hang on just a second. We had the shoe size of Joe the plumber within 10 minutes? But this story's been kicking around for a week and we don't -- nobody's been able to catch up with bathroom stall man?
STU: Well, apparently she's out there giving interviews like crazy. So I think --
GLENN: Oh, that's what I would do.
STU: Of course.
GLENN: Can I tell you something? That's what I would do. If I were caught and it was a national story and I was having sex and my wife were, you know, in the stadium and I just was like, "Hey, what's going on upstairs, are they taking too long in the bathroom?" I think the first thing I did when I got caught was call a press conference. Wouldn't you? No, seriously?
STU: You want to draw attention to yourself immediately, as much as possible. Because I mean, honestly a lot of these stories have been driven by the fact that she keeps responding to them and, you know, where he, you are not hearing a lot about him because he is not saying anything. But, you know, this is typical that the guy would get the pass on this and that's not fair. I mean, he's just as much an idiot as she is. But the fact is that she's coming out and trying to get out of it.
GLENN: Here's the thing. When I saw the story, I didn't even read it. I saw it up on the Drudge Report this week and I didn't even read it. The headline said it all, somebody having sex in the bathroom stall. That's fine. Where the story is interesting now is the woman trying to blame others for her actions. You know what? Let's just take -- let's say she doesn't remember. Well, what the hell was wrong with you? How did you get so drunk in public that you had no idea what you were doing? How did that happen to you?
STU: And then therefore here is her new excuse about being drugged.
GLENN: How is it your -- wait a minute. How is it your husband was so clueless that you were so out of control that you... "I've got to go to the bathroom," and then he just said, okay, honey, I'm just going to have some nachos here.
STU: Well, that's --
GLENN: Where is his responsibility?
STU: He is saying that he feels bad about the fact that he let her go and he believes her story.
GLENN: Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. You know what, brother? You get what you deserve. You two deserve each other.
STU: Because either --
GLENN: You two deserve each other.
STU: One of the two is true, either she really was that drunk and he's an absolute idiot or the other side of it is she really wasn't that drugged, she's 38 --
GLENN: An absolute idiot.
STU: He is an idiot, too. But, you know, she's 36 or 38 years old, she is up there, she meets a younger guy, she thinks it's going to be exciting, she's a little bit drunk or maybe a lot drunk but still she jumps in, she does something stupid and now is trying to do everything she can including hire lawyers to get out of it. And I mean, that's America. If it's not stampeding people for televisions and trying to use lawyers to get out of having sex in public, I don't know what America is anymore.
GLENN: Well, it ain't that. It ain't that. I will tell you that I don't think people -- and because you in your car or wherever you happen to be listening to me, because you lead your life and you just put your, you know, put your head down, keep your nose to the grindstone, just keep doing it every day, you get worn out and you get worn down and you get -- you start to believe that this is who we are because you see it everywhere. You know what? That's not who we are. That's not who we are.
You know, I was thinking this weekend as I was reading the news of the day and seeing what was going on, I thought now, here we go to Fox and I know that I have a handshake and I have a deal with Fox and I trust the people over there that I pick the stories, I do them the way I want, I say what I want, period. And I wondered this weekend, I wonder if anybody's really, I wonder, I wonder if anyone will step to the plate and say, "No, no, no, no, no. No, you really shouldn't do that." I wonder what the battle is going to be like. I knew what the battle was at CNN. I'm wondering what it is now, and I think we have a similar world view but I wonder because I'm not going to say the things that I think everybody else -- I watched the news this weekend and nobody was really talking about the India thing in the right way. They were giving all of the details and then they were saying that this was about India and Pakistan and everything else. No, they -- no, it's not. No, it's not. Why aren't we asking, why aren't we asking "Why" more often, and where are the people that understand the big picture? Where are the people that are going to say, "Okay, having a stampede at Wal-Mart and the lady in the bathroom so story, both of those are connected in this way." Who have we allowed ourselves to become? And it's not just who have we Lord ourselves to become in the stampede and the sex in the bathroom, but look at now the people that -- everybody's blaming Wal-Mart or the pregnant lady: Why would she go there. Instead of blaming the crowd, instead of blaming the individuals that were there. It's a big faceless corporation. It's somebody else's fault. It's never our fault.
The lady in the bathroom, you made a choice. Bad choice. Take your lumps. Learn from it. Move on. Shame on you. In fact, what's her name? What's her name, Stu? Do you have it there?
STU: Dan I think has -- Dan has shockingly enough pulled up the picture of the woman. I believe he might have it.
GLENN: Is she a looker?
STU: She actually is very attractive.
DAN: As the blog who posted it, they have a picture of the guy, says having now seen both photographs, we conclude that Mr. Walsh was playing significantly above his --
STU: What is her name?
DAN: Her name is Lois Feldman, 38.
GLENN: Lois Feldman and who is -- what's the guy?
DAN: The guy's name is Ross Walsh.
GLENN: You are both dirtbags, Lois and Ross. You are dirtbags. Now, you can sue people, you can complain about it, or you can say, "What is wrong with me. Why would I make that choice" and then change your life. Change your life and -- this is going to be a tough one -- make a promise to yourself that you are not going to repeat that again or anything like that. You know, you learned your lesson from it. We've all done dirtbag things. We don't have to hate ourselves forever. We don't have to hate other people forever. We just move on with our lives. "We made a huge mistake. Wow did I learn from that." And then move on. But you are the only two responsible. Nobody had a gun to your head and said, "You guys have to have sex on the toilet right here." And even if they did have a gun to your head, Lois, would you have chosen that? Really? Stop pointing fingers at everybody but ourselves. Start asking, what does that story mean, why is this happening, how is this connected. Who are we?