GLENN: Well, just an update on global warming. There's only a few weeks left in 2008 and it looks like this is once again going to, thanks to big oil and coal, be the warmest year of the decade (sneezing). See, I'm getting a cold and everything. Excuse me. Oh, I just, man, it's just so chilly and -- I need that achy -- what is it, the achy, itchy, sneezy, sniffly all-over medicine? Whatever that is, I need some of that. This global warming, I -- it's 4 right now in Idaho. Or maybe it's not. Maybe it's 104. I'm not sure anymore. I keep seeing -- I saw an ad on television today about, "Here's the clean coal technology that you've been promised" and yet he's standing in a desert and there is nothing behind him and they're saying there is no such thing as clean coal. Oh, okay. Well, I hope we can just abolish all this coal.
Where were all the global warming advertisements, where was all of the global warming stuff during the campaign? Did you notice it just mysteriously disappeared during the campaign? Why is that, do you suppose? Maybe, oh, I don't know, because they know people don't buy into it? That they know it is -- I'm sorry. Yes, it's me, the Holocaust denier. Holocaust, what Holocaust? Holocaust schmolocaust. Yes. We know that it's a bunch of bullcrap. How do we know it? Because we've engaged in something I like to call common sense. Just when you get really down and you say, "There's not a single person on Earth that gets it anymore," know that, yes, Americans know the global warming thing is a scam. "When we stop the assault on our Earth, when will we -- "gosh darn it, I've been holding the temperature gauge upside -- the paper, I had it upside down. I'm sorry. Oh, jeez. Wow, it's actually the coldest year of the decade. I thought it was the warmest there. It's weird how all of Al Gore's spending of several hundred million dollars on a mass campaign of convincing you that global warming is real has resulted in less than 20% of the American people who actually agree with him. Think of this. Think of the propaganda: Less than 20%.
Let me ask you this: Is it possible that the Earth forgot to show up at Live Earth? Because it looks like the Earth doesn't even agree with global warming. Is it possible the climate didn't hear Madonna when she instructed people to jump up and down for the climate? Is that possible? Is it possible that maybe people like me are not going to be able to say these things on the radio very much longer?
The cooling in 2008 is equal to 20% of all of the warming of the last 100 years as compared to the rest of this decade. What does that mean? Does it mean anything? Of course not, Holocaust denier! Jeez, what's wrong with you people? The relatively chilly temperatures compared with the recent years are not evidence that global warming is slowing. However, say climate scientists at the Met office, absolutely not, it's not evidence that anything is happening, this according to Dr. Peter Stott, the manager of Understanding and Attributing Climate Change at the Met office Hadley Centre. Manager of Understanding and Attributing Climate Change at the Met office, Hadley Centre, does that even fit on a business card?
"The scientists go on to claim that the relatively chilly temperatures compared with recent years are not evidence that global warming is slowing." That's absolutely true. Cooling isn't evidence of warming slowing down. It's evidence of cooling. Just thought I'd throw that out there. And by the way, this isn't just one year. The warmest year on record was 1998. I believe five years, five years before Al Gore got his movie out. The warmest year on record was 1998. We've been cooling now since 2000, or if you want to be pessimistic, since 2001. Yet, have you heard that from the global warming crowd? No. What you'll hear is that cooling is not evidence that global warming is slowing. But they go on in an attempt to prove their point, and I love this. In March a team of climate scientists at Kiel University predicted that natural variation would mask the .3 degrees Celsius warming predicted by the intergovernmental panel on climate change over the next decade. They said that global temperatures would remain constant until 2015 but then they would begin to accelerate.
All right, let's see. Well, first of all, they are not remaining constant because they are going down. So you are wrong there. But I'm trying to get my arms around this "Natural variation would mask the warming thing." Let me see, because I'm an alcoholic, I speak bullcrap fluently. Let me see if I can translate that from bullcrap to English. They're saying that cooling will mask the warming. Cooling will mask the warming. See if I have this right. I mean, I'm not a scientist, but I'm a thinker, and help me out. Stu, if cooling is masking warming, then wouldn't it just be cooling?
STU: You're clearly not a scientist.
GLENN: No, I just -- explain that to me, would you?
STU: Well, yes, it's fairly obvious here. If warming was warming and then the cooling came in and masked the warming, the warming would still be there. It would just be cooling.
GLENN: All right, let me try this, see if I understand this. Let's take your oven, okay? Let's say you turn your oven on.
GLENN: And then you open the outside door in your Boise apartment where it's snowing today. Then I guess you could say the cold is masking the warmth, but it still would be getting colder, right? I mean, if anything --
STU: No, no, not at all because you'd have the oven on. The oven is on. That's manmade warming.
GLENN: Right. Wouldn't you just -- I mean, wouldn't you just be saying that natural cold is overpowering the manmade warmth? I mean, wouldn't that be good? I mean, look, if the cooling is masking the warming, the warming, according to these pinheads, is caused by man. The cooling is not caused by man. So wouldn't it mean that the non-manmade cooling is actually winning out over man? Almost like it's weird how the whole system works itself out.
STU: Glenn, I think you are being very controversial here.
GLENN: No, I --
STU: I think maybe there's room for a little experiment here. If there happens to be a listener in a cold climate right now, they could go into their kitchen and blast their oven and then open their front door and we'll just see if --
GLENN: I'm sure they will be opening up the front door would be manmade cooling.
STU: I thought that would be natural cooling.
GLENN: No, it would be manmade because you opened the front door. I mean, it would have to be -- here's what it would have to be. It would have to be so cold outside that you couldn't keep the furnace running in your house and you couldn't do anything to stop it and it just got colder and colder and colder and colder outside until eventually it was so cold in your house. Because man has not done anything to stop global warming and cause global cooling. We keep turning the thermostat up on the oven that we've left open. Now you've got to take man out of the equation. Man, in your scenario or the one I gave with the oven, is you would open -- you would open up the door. Well, you can't open up the door.
STU: Well, you can't build the house, either. Man's always getting involved in these things. Man's always in the way of science.
GLENN: Can I tell you something? If we could just exterminate, if we could just exterminate the vermin that is man. See, if I was -- let me tell you something. If I wasn't a Holocaust denier, I could understand the potential behind the Holocaust. If I didn't deny the Holocaust, then I could have the solution for global warming.