Glenn Beck: Cake or Pie?


A very young Glenn Beck shows his allegiance to cake (and future weight control issues)...

GLENN: Well, let's give it a shot. Hold on just a second. Let me go to -- oh, I'm not going to do that to Nathan. Nathan, you have -- if you listened to yesterday's show, you are appreciating that joke. Nathan, the Insiders, apparently there is some sort of controversy Stu has told me about.

CALLER: Yes. There is a war that has been brewing for weeks now and is tearing our community apart and we need to know which side you stand with.

GLENN: Okay.

CALLER: Is it cake or is it pie.

GLENN: I'm sorry. Hmmm?

CALLER: Is it cake or pie?

GLENN: This is the Insider Civil War?

CALLER: Yes.

GLENN: Cake or pie?

CALLER: Yes, it is tearing us to pieces.

GLENN: And what is the big controversy? I say yes.

CALLER: For cake or for pie?

GLENN: I can't have both?

CALLER: No. It has to be one or the other.

GLENN: No, it doesn't.

CALLER: Yes, it does.

GLENN: No, it doesn't. I went last night, I took my family out to a restaurant here in Seattle. It's called 13 Coins and it's a place my mother used to take me when I was a kid on very special occasions and so we finished The Christmas Sweater and I went and I took them and the guy was taking the order and he said, all right, what do you want. It's 3:00 a.m. eastern time to me and I'm looking and I said, I'm just going to have some hash browns and he said, "Okay, you want to hang with the hash browns? I said, peach cobbler. And he said, you want hash browns and peach cobbler? And I said, uh-huh. And do you have any ice cream? He said, okay, your order is hash browns, peach cobbler and ice cream? And I said, how's your, how's your apple tart? So no, it doesn't have to be one or the other. I mean, hey, it's America.

CALLER: Well, but between the two, which one do you prefer? Now, we have determined the cheesecake belongs to the pie family, if it helps.

GLENN: How did you, how did you -- 

CALLER: I have the definition here that says despite the name, cheesecake are technically tarts. That is open top pies. Therefore cheesecake is a pie. It has a crust.

GLENN: Well, then it should be a cheese tart. No, they have cheese tarts. Cheese tarts suck.

CALLER: Well, but it's not about tarts per se. It's about cake or pie.

GLENN: But you just said that cheesecake is technically a tart.

CALLER: But it's in the pie family. So it's still technically a pie.

STU: Will you make a decision, you flip-flopper? Just say one.

CALLER: Well, you say one.


STU: I say cake! I say cake! I'm going to take a stand!

CALLER: Boo!

STU: Cake!

CALLER: Pie!

GLENN: You know what, it's got to be pie because there's too many options with pie.

CALLER: See, thank you.

STU: There's no options with cake. Cake just has one flavor.

GLENN: No, it's vanilla, chocolate. Go deeper.

STU: Strawberry short.

DAN: Ice cream cake with the crunchy stuff in the middle.

GLENN: That would be -- I believe ice cream -- excuse me. I believe ice cream cake would be probably in the torte family if cheesecake -- yes, if cheesecake is in the torte family, in the pie family, then ice cream cake would be in the pie family.

STU: Cupcakes. Hello? Coffeecakes.

CALLER: With cheesecake, that's all there is to it.

GLENN: Cupcakes, that's like putting a different category for doughnut holes. They're doughnuts! Cupcakes are not a crazy -- you know what that is? That's just to make you feel better about, than standing there and eating, you know, a whole cake.

STU: Yes. When does pie do anything like that for you? Cake is trying to make you feel better. What has pie got -- 

GLENN: Pie liberates you.

STU: No, it does not. It's fruit flavored!

GLENN: Pie is not trying to live -- pie is not trying to live a lie. By giving you a little bit of cupcake and going, "Oh, you can feel good about yourself, fatty fat fatso." Pie says, "You want a big slice of me? Come and get me!"

STU: Is that what pie does when it fills it with fruit flavoring filled with all sorts of vitamins and nutrients? They are not trying to send some secret message there? Is that what they're doing?

GLENN: No, no, no. You know why? Because it's covered in sugar.

STU: It's covered in icing. Cake gets icing. It's liquid sugar! It's so much better than pie.

GLENN: Sorry. Stu's wrong. That's why he's the producer of the program, at least until tomorrow at 12:00. Hey, Stu, by the way.

STU: Yeah.

GLENN: Stop by my office tomorrow afternoon, will you? And just for no apparent reason whatsoever, bring a box.

STU: Are you making me a pie?

GLENN: Yes, I am.

STU: Oh.

GLENN: Hey, and bring in some of those pictures that you have on your desk, just bring them with you. Anyway, so I'm going to go with pie, Nathan, all right?

CALLER: Thank you.

GLENN: You're welcome, brother. It's the kind of big problems we solve here on this program. Yeah, we do it daily.

Just days after Canadian pastor James Coates was released from prison for refusing to bow to COVID-19 lockdown restrictions, several police officers showed up at another church to ensure restrictions were being followed. But Polish pastor Artur Pawlowski of the Cave of Adullam Church in Alberta, Canada, knew his rights, telling the cops not to come back until they had a warrant in hand.

Filling in for Glenn Beck on the radio program this week, Pat Gray and Stu Burguiere played a video of the interaction.

"Please get out. Please get out of this property immediately. Get out!" Pawlowski can be heard yelling at the six officers who entered his church.

"Out! Out! Out! Get out of this property immediately until you come back with a warrant," he continued. "Go out and don't come back. I don't want to talk to you. You Nazis, Gestapo is not allowed here! ... Nazis are not welcome here! Do not come back you Nazi psychopaths. Unbelievable sick, evil people. Intimidating people in a church during the Passover! You Gestapo, Nazi, communist fascists! Don't you dare come back here!"

Watch this clip to see the heated exchange:

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One of the most dangerous existential threats to the United States is Critical Race Theory, or CRT. As Glenn Beck has exposed over the past year, CRT is gaining momentum and has been preached in our universities for a while now.

Then last August, leaked documents revealed that Marxism, activist ideology of Black Lives Matter, is making its way into grade school classrooms across the country. And since then, things have only gotten more intense.

On next week's Wednesday night special, Glenn will expose the new ways progressives are systematically indoctrinating our kids and culture with this dangerous ideology. But first, it's crucial that you know what your kids may already be learning.

"What I'm about to show you is just the beginning," Glenn said, introducing the leaked documents.

"I found it shocking that Black Lives Matter supporters have developed lesson plans that start from preschool all the way up to the 12th grade," he continued. "Do you know the money it would take to tailor things ... and get it out to the schools and the unions for each age, to be able to brainwash the kids on Marxism and how to destroy capitalism by using race, sexual orientation, and gender?

"Our children don't stand a chance," Glenn added later. "They're not being taught anything except how to be radical activists. What the hell has happened?"

Watch the video clip below or find the full episode here.


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To enjoy more of Glenn's masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution and live the American dream.

During his campaign, President Joe Biden survived scandal after scandal involving his son Hunter — the Ukraine/Burisma scandal, the laptop scandal, the one involving a stripper from Arkansas and a long-lost child. And yet, after it all appeared to have been swept under the rug, Hunter has now released a memoir — "Beautiful Things."

Filling in for Glenn Beck on the radio program this week, Pat Gray and Stu Burguiere discussed Hunter's "horrible" response when asked on "CBS This Morning" if the laptop seized by the FBI in 2019 belonged to him and reviewed a few segments from his new book, which they agreed raises the question: Is Hunter trying to sabotage his father's career?

Watch the video below for more:


Want more from Glenn Beck?

To enjoy more of Glenn's masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution and live the American dream.

Countless corporations — from Delta Air Lines, Coca-Cola, and Porsche to UPS and LinkedIn — are calling out the Georgia voting laws, calling them "restrictive," "racist," and "discriminative." Meanwhile, words like "stakeholder" and "equitable" are starting to show up in their arguments.

On the radio program, Glenn Beck gave the "decoder ring" for what's really going on here, because our society is being completely redesigned in front of our eyes.

There's a reason why all these big businesses are speaking out now, and it has very little to do with genuine ideology, Glenn explained. It's all about ESG scores and forcing "compliance" through the monetization of social justice.

Glenn went on to detail exactly what ESG scores are, how they're calculated, and why these social credit scores explain the latest moves from "woke" companies.

Watch the video below to hear Glenn break it down:

Want more from Glenn Beck?

To enjoy more of Glenn's masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution and live the American dream.