Glenn Beck: Cake or Pie?


A very young Glenn Beck shows his allegiance to cake (and future weight control issues)...

GLENN: Well, let's give it a shot. Hold on just a second. Let me go to -- oh, I'm not going to do that to Nathan. Nathan, you have -- if you listened to yesterday's show, you are appreciating that joke. Nathan, the Insiders, apparently there is some sort of controversy Stu has told me about.

CALLER: Yes. There is a war that has been brewing for weeks now and is tearing our community apart and we need to know which side you stand with.

GLENN: Okay.

CALLER: Is it cake or is it pie.

GLENN: I'm sorry. Hmmm?

CALLER: Is it cake or pie?

GLENN: This is the Insider Civil War?

CALLER: Yes.

GLENN: Cake or pie?

CALLER: Yes, it is tearing us to pieces.

GLENN: And what is the big controversy? I say yes.

CALLER: For cake or for pie?

GLENN: I can't have both?

CALLER: No. It has to be one or the other.

GLENN: No, it doesn't.

CALLER: Yes, it does.

GLENN: No, it doesn't. I went last night, I took my family out to a restaurant here in Seattle. It's called 13 Coins and it's a place my mother used to take me when I was a kid on very special occasions and so we finished The Christmas Sweater and I went and I took them and the guy was taking the order and he said, all right, what do you want. It's 3:00 a.m. eastern time to me and I'm looking and I said, I'm just going to have some hash browns and he said, "Okay, you want to hang with the hash browns? I said, peach cobbler. And he said, you want hash browns and peach cobbler? And I said, uh-huh. And do you have any ice cream? He said, okay, your order is hash browns, peach cobbler and ice cream? And I said, how's your, how's your apple tart? So no, it doesn't have to be one or the other. I mean, hey, it's America.

CALLER: Well, but between the two, which one do you prefer? Now, we have determined the cheesecake belongs to the pie family, if it helps.

GLENN: How did you, how did you -- 

CALLER: I have the definition here that says despite the name, cheesecake are technically tarts. That is open top pies. Therefore cheesecake is a pie. It has a crust.

GLENN: Well, then it should be a cheese tart. No, they have cheese tarts. Cheese tarts suck.

CALLER: Well, but it's not about tarts per se. It's about cake or pie.

GLENN: But you just said that cheesecake is technically a tart.

CALLER: But it's in the pie family. So it's still technically a pie.

STU: Will you make a decision, you flip-flopper? Just say one.

CALLER: Well, you say one.


STU: I say cake! I say cake! I'm going to take a stand!

CALLER: Boo!

STU: Cake!

CALLER: Pie!

GLENN: You know what, it's got to be pie because there's too many options with pie.

CALLER: See, thank you.

STU: There's no options with cake. Cake just has one flavor.

GLENN: No, it's vanilla, chocolate. Go deeper.

STU: Strawberry short.

DAN: Ice cream cake with the crunchy stuff in the middle.

GLENN: That would be -- I believe ice cream -- excuse me. I believe ice cream cake would be probably in the torte family if cheesecake -- yes, if cheesecake is in the torte family, in the pie family, then ice cream cake would be in the pie family.

STU: Cupcakes. Hello? Coffeecakes.

CALLER: With cheesecake, that's all there is to it.

GLENN: Cupcakes, that's like putting a different category for doughnut holes. They're doughnuts! Cupcakes are not a crazy -- you know what that is? That's just to make you feel better about, than standing there and eating, you know, a whole cake.

STU: Yes. When does pie do anything like that for you? Cake is trying to make you feel better. What has pie got -- 

GLENN: Pie liberates you.

STU: No, it does not. It's fruit flavored!

GLENN: Pie is not trying to live -- pie is not trying to live a lie. By giving you a little bit of cupcake and going, "Oh, you can feel good about yourself, fatty fat fatso." Pie says, "You want a big slice of me? Come and get me!"

STU: Is that what pie does when it fills it with fruit flavoring filled with all sorts of vitamins and nutrients? They are not trying to send some secret message there? Is that what they're doing?

GLENN: No, no, no. You know why? Because it's covered in sugar.

STU: It's covered in icing. Cake gets icing. It's liquid sugar! It's so much better than pie.

GLENN: Sorry. Stu's wrong. That's why he's the producer of the program, at least until tomorrow at 12:00. Hey, Stu, by the way.

STU: Yeah.

GLENN: Stop by my office tomorrow afternoon, will you? And just for no apparent reason whatsoever, bring a box.

STU: Are you making me a pie?

GLENN: Yes, I am.

STU: Oh.

GLENN: Hey, and bring in some of those pictures that you have on your desk, just bring them with you. Anyway, so I'm going to go with pie, Nathan, all right?

CALLER: Thank you.

GLENN: You're welcome, brother. It's the kind of big problems we solve here on this program. Yeah, we do it daily.

Everything comes down to the two Senate runoffs in Georgia. If we lose both races, we lose the country. Democrats know this and are pouring in millions to usher in a Marxist agenda.

As the Left tries to hide how radical the two candidates really are, Glenn takes us inside the Democrat war room to expose the wolf in pastor's clothing, Raphael Warnock, and America's Justin Trudeau, Jon Ossoff. Socialism, the Green New Deal, and "defund the police" are all on the table. And Glenn warns of what's to come if conservatives don't activate: Chuck Schumer will weaponize the Senate, and the radical Left will launch an all-out assault to ravage the Constitution.

Watch the full special below:

The election and its aftermath are the most important stories in America. That's why we're offering our most timely discount ever: $30 off a one-year subscription to BlazeTV with code "GLENN." With BlazeTV, you get the unvarnished truth from the most pro-America network in the country, free from Big Tech and MSM censors.

Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) joined the "Glenn Beck Radio Program" to explain how mail-in ballots are typically disqualified during recounts at a far higher rate than in-person, Election Day ballots, and why this is "good news" for President Donald Trump's legal battle over the election.

"One of the things that gives the greatest cause for optimism is, this election ... there's a pretty marked disparity in terms of how the votes were distributed. On Election Day, with in-person voting, Donald Trump won a significant majority of the votes cast on in-person voting on Election Day. Of mail-in voting, Joe Biden won a significant majority of the votes cast early on mail-in voting," Cruz explained.

"Now, here's the good news: If you look historically to recounts, if you look historically to election litigation, the votes cast in person on Election Day tend to stand. It's sort of hard to screw that up. Those votes are generally legal, and they're not set aside. Mail-in votes historically have a much higher rate of rejection … when they're examined, there are a whole series of legal requirements that vary state by state, but mail-in votes consistently have a higher rate of rejection, which suggests that as these votes begin being examined and subjected to scrutiny, that you're going to see Joe Biden's vote tallies go down. That's a good thing," he added. "The challenge is, for President Trump to prevail, he's got to run the table. He's got to win, not just in one state but in several states. That makes it a lot harder to prevail in the litigation. I hope that he does so, but it is a real challenge and we shouldn't try to convince ourselves otherwise."

Watch the video clip below to catch more of the conversation:

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Fox News senior meteorologist Janice Dean is perhaps even more disgusted with New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo (D) for his coronavirus response than BlazeTV's Stu Burguiere (read what Stu has to say on the subject here), and for a good reason.

She lost both of her in-laws to COVID-19 in New York's nursing homes after Gov. Cuomo's infamous nursing home mandate, which Cuomo has since had scrubbed from the state's website and blamed everyone from the New York Post to nursing care workers to (every leftist's favorite scapegoat) President Donald Trump.

Janice joined Glenn and Stu on the "Glenn Beck Radio Program" Tuesday to ask why mainstream media is not holding Gov. Cuomo — who recently published a book about his leadership during the COVID-19 pandemic — accountable?

"I'm vocal because I have not seen the mainstream media ask these questions or demand accountability of their leaders. [Cuomo] really has been ruling with an iron fist, and every time he does get asked a question, he blames everybody else except the person that signed that order," Janice said.

"In my mind, he's profiting off the over 30 thousand New Yorkers, including my in-laws, that died by publishing a book on 'leadership' of New York," she added. "His order has helped kill thousands of relatives of New York state. And this is not political, Glenn. This is not about Republican or Democrat. My in-laws were registered Democrats. This is not about politics. This is about accountability for something that went wrong, and it's because of your [Cuomo's] leadership that we're put into this situation."

Watch the video excerpt from the show below:

Want more from Glenn Beck?

To enjoy more of Glenn's masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution and live the American dream.

As America grows divided and afraid to disagree with the Democrats' woke plan for America, Megyn Kelly is ready to fight back for the truth. For nearly two decades, she navigated the volatile and broken world of the media. But as America leans on independent voices more than ever, she's breaking new ground with "The Megyn Kelly Show."

She joined the latest Glenn Beck Podcast to break down what's coming next after the election: Black Lives Matter is mainstream, leftists are making lists of Trump supporters, and the Hunter Biden scandal is on the back burner.

Megyn and Glenn reminisce about their cable news days (including her infamous run-in with then-presidential candidate Donald Trump) and to look into the chaotic and shady world of journalism and the growing entitlement it's bred. For example, many conservatives have been shocked by how Fox News handled the election.

Megyn defended Fox News, saying she believes Fox News' mission "is a good one," but also didn't hold back on hosts like Neil Cavuto, who cut off a White House briefing to fact check it — something she never would have done, even while covering President Obama.

Megyn also shared this insightful takeaway from her time at NBC: "Jane Fonda was an ass."

Watch the full podcast here:

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Subscribe to Glenn Beck's channel on YouTube for FREE access to more of his masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, or subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution and live the American dream.