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GLENN: So I flip over and I'm watching Anderson, who I like, and Anderson becomes increasingly uncomfortable with Kathy Griffith. And Kathy Griffith, here I am, I'm minding my own business. And Kathy Griffith goes into a tirade about me being a drug addict Mormon. And I'm thinking to myself, well, how dare you call me a Mormon. I'm thinking to myself here it is a network for I worked for how long, two years, they actually stopped production on a show because I jokingly said, "O.J. Simpson, he practically cut the head off of two people." Had to shut it down. But they go back and they edit the show, except for the part where she calls me a drug addict. I thought, you've got to be kidding me.
STU: Well, I mean, as far as I know, you never did heroin.
GLENN: No, I never did heroin.
STU: But you are --
GLENN: Wild out of control with alcohol, did a little blow from here, you know, here and there.
GLENN: Really, really, really regret it. I've got about four brain cells left.
STU: And only two of them work.
GLENN: Well, two of them, two of them are actually keeping me breathing. One is sketchy and the other one is just bouncing around trying to make words come out of my mouth.
STU: Yeah, and one of them's union. So it has to take a break every 20 minutes. But I think it's interesting to see that the approach of the comedy, you have to realize the comedy because you certainly had a past with substances.
STU: So what she did there, this joke that she did was she stated that you did heroin.
GLENN: Which I didn't.
STU: Which you didn't do but see, she took a drug that you didn't do and said you did it and then she took the name of your religion. That's quality comedy.
GLENN: It really is. Can you imagine if you just said, oh, yeah, that alcoholic Jew. Can you imagine that?
STU: Oh, no one would complain.
GLENN: Nobody would complain, no.
STU: If you inserted the word Muslim.
STU: There's no way anyone would complain, never.
GLENN: Of course they would run that. Of course they would run that. By the way, the other controversy that happened while I was on vacation is I see on -- I get up. The next day, the next day I'm on the Drudge Report -- I've got to stop reading the news and watching television while I'm on vacation -- and the Drudge Report has the Kathy Griffith calling me a heroin addict and then there's a story about Dr. Dobson pulling my book off of his website and, you know, all of this intrigue and everything else. You've got to be kidding me.
First of all, Dr. Dobson is the last one to be surprised at my religion. Dr. Dobson and I have worked together for a long time. We don't work on projects together or anything else. He has been on my program; I've been on his program. I know his faith has worked with my faith and everything else. I mean, it wasn't a surprise to anybody. Dr. Dobson does a lot of good in this country. He does a lot of good for a lot of people and I have respect for Dr. Dobson and I'm reading all of this stuff about how there's a giant spat between us and everything else. Just for the web cam viewers, I'll show you how bad it got. Yeah. This is the Christmas card I received from Dr. Dobson and his -- see, there's his family? Yeah.
STU: Well, Glenn, I mean, you are not going to -- what else is there to talk about other than you're a heroin addict and you are being pulled off websites? It's not like the Middle East is on fire.
GLENN: I know, God forbid we do that. And you know what? Can anyone in the media please get the Middle East thing right? This is Iran trying to spike oil prices and trying to collapse economies at the behest of not only Iran but also at the behest of Russia. This is what this is about. This is all about oil prices. This is all about countries when they are in collapse become extraordinarily dangerous. Hamas starts firing off rockets. Now, they are firing off rockets, and everybody at the UN is all very upset because now Israel has responded and it's not proportionate. It's not a proportionate response. I don't even understand the proportionate response thing. Do you? Since when is it a proportionate response? Didn't we burn down Dresden? Didn't we go in and burn the entire city in Germany down to the ground? I don't remember them doing that to Detroit. Of course, we did that ourself many years later. But they didn't do that to any of our cities. It's war, for the love of Pete. A proportionate response.
So when it -- let me just -- may I just use some common sense for a second? Because this has been bothering me. Proportionate response, would that be like us after 9/11 going in and flying two planes into the tallest buildings in Afghanistan? Would that have been -- and then, of course, we would have to drop another plane into, like, the tent where they planned all of the, you know, their war strategy? And then another one would just have to drop into a field. Would that have made everybody happy? I mean, for the love of Pete. It's war.
And there's another thing that's really been bothering me and that is can someone please retract the Jimmy Carter Nobel Peace Prize? Can someone please say, "You know what, Jim, we've got to take that back; that was a -- I don't know what we were thinking there, but there really hasn't been any peace there." And it says "Peace" on the prize. We can identify what it is because it says "Prize" and "Peace" on it. I don't think you get the prize for the peace when the peace didn't really happen. I mean, I hate to be nitpicky here but I mean, shouldn't there actually be peace in the Middle East for Carter to be eligible for the peace prize? Shouldn't it last more than 40 seconds? I mean, it's not like it's a new phenomena. Fairly two years after his marquis accomplishment and the peace accord between Egypt and Israel and the Egyptian president was assassinated by somebody who didn't like the peace process, I don't know if that's the way the peace process is supposed to end. Not really getting off to a great start. And now Israeli troops and the Palestinians are fighting like every ten minutes. It's not really a story anymore, is it? You look at it and -- maybe it's just me but every time I see the Palestinians and Hamas are launching rockets over into Israel and Israel is responding, I'm like, "Hmmm, I wonder if the Wheel of Fortune is on. I mean, this is not new news. Can we take his peace prize back from him?
Of course, if we do that, then we're going to have to take away the Al Gore peace prize because, you know, it's -- well, unless you can convince us that global cooling is what he was talking about when he was talking about climate change.
Did you see, by the way? Also on vacation I noticed a little story that this is the year with the least activity of sun spots. Isn't that weird? It's kind of like what the best astrophysicists on planet Earth have been saying for the last 10, 20 years: "Hey, by the way, this global warming thing, look at the sun. It has everything to do with the sun." What? That giant heater in the sky? What does that have to do with warming? Shut up, crazy man! Next thing you're going to be saying, they weren't building ovens in Germany. No, really.
Now here we are, it's snowing in Africa and there doesn't seem to be any sun spot activity. That's weird. So you don't want to start taking away peace prize Z from people because you've got to take Al Gore's and that will just be -- do you think if you're a Palestinian, you get up in the morning and you're like, "Oh, come on, man; what?" I feel actually really bad for the Palestinians. The Palestinians are being used and they are being used by Iran and they are being used -- it's not a coincidence that we have a new president in two weeks. It's not a coincidence. This guy is going to have to take a stand. So he's either got a massive enemy with Iran and the Middle East. "Oh, he's for -- look at him, for killing little babies over in the Gaza Strip." Is there anyone within the sound of my voice that's for killing babies? Well, that's a different story. Only the liberals... anyway, is there anybody that wants to see families ripped apart in war? Is there anybody? Is there a single Jew that wants to kill Palestinian families? Are there any sane Palestinian families that want to kill a bunch of Jews on a bus going to school? No, the answer is no. They're being used. People are pawns. And you know why this is happening? Because the brutal dictators, who we have gotten in bed with -- we just want Saudi Arabia? What? "Egypt, they're our friend. Here's another planeload of people that we can't torture. Will you do it for us?" We get into bed with all of these dictators, and these dictators need to blame something on somebody because if they don't have a bad guy, well, gee, then they have to answer -- you know what it is? You want to understand the Middle East, all you have to do is understand America. You understand our two parties.