Glenn's kids for sale?

GLENN: Okay, thank you very much. You know, I have to tell you I am not, I'm not one that generally would like to sell my children but there's something about a two-week holiday around the Christmas, you know, period of the year that makes me want to put them up for auction, really, all of them. I got four. One's got very little damage. Some of them have higher mileage and an awful lot of damage. I'll admit it. I mean, I was driving them at the time. So, you know, that one's been in an accident or two. That left a mark. But, you know, one of them's got very low mileage. Maybe it's just, maybe it's the toy situation around the holiday that drives you crazy, you know. Am I the only one that just can't seem to get any of the toys right or to get anything, you know, to get a balance at all? You know, we really tried to balance this year. We were like, okay, we're going to cut back on Christmas, we're really going to, you know, just -- and so, you know, we bought, like, the older kids got a shirt and a sweater, a CD. You know, that was it. Younger kids, a book, maybe Raphe got a couple of extra train tracks for his train, you know, a toy. Cheyenne got a puzzle and a book. But then everyone else dogpiles on the family and that's what -- I mean, I have to tell you, after this vacation I'm ready for a vacation from my vacation. Maybe just regular work. Is there anybody else that came back to work today and went, whew, am I glad to be back to work. I mean, I never look forward to, you know, schlepping myself back into work and everything until you have two weeks with your entire family and then you are ready to be the best employee ever. I can work extra hours tonight, you know. Doesn't matter how much you love your family. I think everybody has a "Time spent" limit. Don't you? And the toys just make it much shorter. I'm absolutely for cap and trade on toys. I think there should be -- and honestly when it comes to Christmas toys, my house looks like Santa's workshop now. I boug ht my kids three. Now there's toys everywhere and there was a big fat guy who came in and ate all the cookies. It's the relatives that do it to you. You think I'm dumb enough to give my 4-year-old a toy that makes a constant annoying noise? I swear to you, one of the relatives got the, what is it, the Einstein -- what is that stupid cartoon?

DAN: The little Einsteins, Glenn. Leo, June and the whole gang. I know it well, unfortunately.

GLENN: Dan's our in-studio producer who is currently for some reason building a newer model child.

DAN: (Laughing).

GLENN: Have you seen the little spaceship that they have?

DAN: Yes. Rocket.

GLENN: Whatever. Have you seen the toy that they make? It's got like a billion pieces and plays a song and makes sounds.

DAN: No, I have not seen that.

GLENN: Stop with the sounds! Stop with the sounds, or put a strategically placed button that can only be accessed by a very small Phillips screwdriver so little kids can't figure it out. Put an off switch on the damn thing! I'm not stupid enough to -- I see anything that says "Push me," when you go into the toy store, "Push me." If it makes a sound, I put it back on shelf. But relatives, oh, I think they all think, "Ah, I know how to get Glenn." So I spent the better part of all of Christmas week just trying to dismantle and subtly lose toys. "What happened to that toy? Where did you put that toy?" I'm not going to be able to get a good price on them later in life because they are going to be so damaged because they are going to think they lost all their cool toys when they were kids. They didn't lose them. Kids, I'm hidin' them. I'm giving them away when you're not looking. Some of them I'm putting directly in the garbage can.

So I spend a week just trying to get the house back to quiet. What happens? We have a New Year's Eve party, the kids are there. My wife decides to get, you know, the little hats and stuff. In the bag -- and I didn't even see this one coming -- in the bag are the stupid noise-makers. Honey, what are you doing? Now, because this is the way it always is, you can buy your kid a $5,000 toy. They don't play with that one. They play with the one that's not even really a toy.

So now since New Year's Eve, I've been trying to wreck the inside of the, you know, thing that you blow up and it uncurls and has a feather? What do you call those things besides annoying and loud, especially when in the hands of a 4-year-old? I swear to you I was -- a lot of the toys I was just thinking about just wrapping in bacon and saying, "Hey, Victor." You know, get my big German Shepherd. I ended up eating the bacon. So now my house is noisier than ever. Jeez.

"Why not just throw the toys away? Why not just tell them to give..." uh-huh, how many toys did you have to do that to? Am I alone?

Dan, did you have to hide toys from your kids?

DAN: For you mean like before Christmas Day?

GLENN: No, after.

DAN: Yes. Actually this is the first year we did. My daughter's 3.

DAN: Uh-huh. It only gets worse. It only gets worse.

DAN: Thank you. Thank you for that optimism.

GLENN: Next thing they get iPods and cell phones and boyfriends. It only gets worse. I've got three of my daughters' boyfriends hidden in the basement. I probably shouldn't admit that on the air, but -- 

DAN: No, not a good idea.

GLENN: I mean, jeez. I don't know why -- you know what? You want to sell more toys? Make them quiet. That's what you do. Make them quiet. I know kids like the flashy things, but parents don't. And then we should -- you know, here's a government proposal that I would support. You can't allow grandparents to buy any toys because the worst toys are always purchased by the grandparents. Every time this year, this time of year every single year, I come back and I hate my parents because you know what they're doing. They are just standing there in the store and they're looking at the toys. They don't know what -- they aren't watching any of these shows. Really? They know about the Einstein? What's the name of that stupid show?

DAN: The Little Einsteins, Glenn.

GLENN: Thank you. They know about Little Einsteins? Do they, really? Hmmm. I don't think so. They were standing in the toy section and they were looking for the noisiest toy. That's what they were doing. And then they invite us all over to their house. They've got like 4,000 grandchildren. They are Italians. They're breeding like bunny rabbits. So we've got like 4,000 grandchildren and they give them all the same toy. "Oh, look at that." If that didn't make you want to throw yourself out the window, nothing would. 4,000 kids all with the Baby Einstein, Dan?

DAN: It's The Little Einsteins.

GLENN: Are they owned by the Baby Einstein people?

DAN: I would imagine so, yes.

GLENN: Did Baby Einstein grow up to be Little Einstein? I'd like him to get into the quiet phase -- no, I don't. No, I take that back. Because you know the picture I always think of when I think of Einstein? You think of grown-up Einstein, it will be like Baby Einstein, Little Einstein, grown up Boring Einstein? You know what? That thing, if the toy companies were making it, they would make it so the grandparents would buy it, they would make it next to that stupid chalkboard and the only noise it would make is the chalk scraping against the blackboard. Oh, I know all you toy makers. I know how you think. I'm done. I'm checking out. "Hey, look, kids, Daddy got a bag of rocks, yeah. Why don't you play with that one for a while, hmmm? Hey, look at that. It's a pillow. Oh, you want to hit your sister with a pillow? Yeah, that's why this pillow comes with a stapler. I'm going to staple it to your head." Yeah. Oh, I know. So I've got some children for sale. If anybody's interested, we'll talk later off the air.

Everything comes down to the two Senate runoffs in Georgia. If we lose both races, we lose the country. Democrats know this and are pouring in millions to usher in a Marxist agenda.

As the Left tries to hide how radical the two candidates really are, Glenn takes us inside the Democrat war room to expose the wolf in pastor's clothing, Raphael Warnock, and America's Justin Trudeau, Jon Ossoff. Socialism, the Green New Deal, and "defund the police" are all on the table. And Glenn warns of what's to come if conservatives don't activate: Chuck Schumer will weaponize the Senate, and the radical Left will launch an all-out assault to ravage the Constitution.

Watch the full special below:

The election and its aftermath are the most important stories in America. That's why we're offering our most timely discount ever: $30 off a one-year subscription to BlazeTV with code "GLENN." With BlazeTV, you get the unvarnished truth from the most pro-America network in the country, free from Big Tech and MSM censors.

Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) joined the "Glenn Beck Radio Program" to explain how mail-in ballots are typically disqualified during recounts at a far higher rate than in-person, Election Day ballots, and why this is "good news" for President Donald Trump's legal battle over the election.

"One of the things that gives the greatest cause for optimism is, this election ... there's a pretty marked disparity in terms of how the votes were distributed. On Election Day, with in-person voting, Donald Trump won a significant majority of the votes cast on in-person voting on Election Day. Of mail-in voting, Joe Biden won a significant majority of the votes cast early on mail-in voting," Cruz explained.

"Now, here's the good news: If you look historically to recounts, if you look historically to election litigation, the votes cast in person on Election Day tend to stand. It's sort of hard to screw that up. Those votes are generally legal, and they're not set aside. Mail-in votes historically have a much higher rate of rejection … when they're examined, there are a whole series of legal requirements that vary state by state, but mail-in votes consistently have a higher rate of rejection, which suggests that as these votes begin being examined and subjected to scrutiny, that you're going to see Joe Biden's vote tallies go down. That's a good thing," he added. "The challenge is, for President Trump to prevail, he's got to run the table. He's got to win, not just in one state but in several states. That makes it a lot harder to prevail in the litigation. I hope that he does so, but it is a real challenge and we shouldn't try to convince ourselves otherwise."

Watch the video clip below to catch more of the conversation:

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Fox News senior meteorologist Janice Dean is perhaps even more disgusted with New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo (D) for his coronavirus response than BlazeTV's Stu Burguiere (read what Stu has to say on the subject here), and for a good reason.

She lost both of her in-laws to COVID-19 in New York's nursing homes after Gov. Cuomo's infamous nursing home mandate, which Cuomo has since had scrubbed from the state's website and blamed everyone from the New York Post to nursing care workers to (every leftist's favorite scapegoat) President Donald Trump.

Janice joined Glenn and Stu on the "Glenn Beck Radio Program" Tuesday to ask why mainstream media is not holding Gov. Cuomo — who recently published a book about his leadership during the COVID-19 pandemic — accountable?

"I'm vocal because I have not seen the mainstream media ask these questions or demand accountability of their leaders. [Cuomo] really has been ruling with an iron fist, and every time he does get asked a question, he blames everybody else except the person that signed that order," Janice said.

"In my mind, he's profiting off the over 30 thousand New Yorkers, including my in-laws, that died by publishing a book on 'leadership' of New York," she added. "His order has helped kill thousands of relatives of New York state. And this is not political, Glenn. This is not about Republican or Democrat. My in-laws were registered Democrats. This is not about politics. This is about accountability for something that went wrong, and it's because of your [Cuomo's] leadership that we're put into this situation."

Watch the video excerpt from the show below:

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As America grows divided and afraid to disagree with the Democrats' woke plan for America, Megyn Kelly is ready to fight back for the truth. For nearly two decades, she navigated the volatile and broken world of the media. But as America leans on independent voices more than ever, she's breaking new ground with "The Megyn Kelly Show."

She joined the latest Glenn Beck Podcast to break down what's coming next after the election: Black Lives Matter is mainstream, leftists are making lists of Trump supporters, and the Hunter Biden scandal is on the back burner.

Megyn and Glenn reminisce about their cable news days (including her infamous run-in with then-presidential candidate Donald Trump) and to look into the chaotic and shady world of journalism and the growing entitlement it's bred. For example, many conservatives have been shocked by how Fox News handled the election.

Megyn defended Fox News, saying she believes Fox News' mission "is a good one," but also didn't hold back on hosts like Neil Cavuto, who cut off a White House briefing to fact check it — something she never would have done, even while covering President Obama.

Megyn also shared this insightful takeaway from her time at NBC: "Jane Fonda was an ass."

Watch the full podcast here:

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