GLENN: But I want to take a break for a second and I want to talk to you about something else because I guess -- and Stu brought this up to my attention yesterday. What was it, two days ago that Oprah Winfrey announced that she's fat again?
STU: I don't know that it was an official announcement. She did a -- it was on her own magazine cover showing herself as fat and then also it essentially was Oprah being interviewed on Oprah by Oprah about Oprah's weight gain in Oprah's magazine which featured Oprah's weight gain.
GLENN: I don't even know what you're talking about. So Oprah is -- how much weight has she gained?
STU: 40 pounds, Glenn, from her thinness back, I think was three or four years ago.
GLENN: Hey, I don't know why we all care so much. Well, let me rephrase that. I don't care that much. I don't know anybody in my life that cares -- my wife probably cares. Your wife probably cares.
STU: I know my wife was watching every second of it very closely.
GLENN: So now I'm thinking -- yesterday we were in a meeting and Stu comes in and he brings up Oprah's weight gain and I said, well, it's good to have you in the meeting there, Stu. And he brings up Oprah's weight gain, and I think that it is self-evident what this means. This means -- I mean, they spent an hour on Larry King Live last night, but in there they were talking about how Oprah is possibly just not happy, I guess, and she's really been struggling with some things and she just let it get away from her. Okay. I think all that's right. I mean, I don't know about you, but don't you get -- aren't there times when you just like kind of give up? Like I -- on vacation I kind of gape up on, you know, not having the -- you know, you're just like, whatever, I'm going to eat it. Because I want to eat it, you know? Don't you ever get to a point where you're like, I've got so much I'm doing right now, I've got so much on my mind and my kids are constantly screaming, I'm having the cookie. I've actually looked at my kids as they've been screaming back and forth and I've just gone to the cookie jar and I've just watched them and I've stared them right directly in the eye and taken the cookie slowly and just eaten it like, I'm not listening to you anymore; I'm just eating cookies. I think I have a right to do that.
STU: This cookie is your fault.
GLENN: Daddy's only fat and going to drop dead of a heart attack because you make him cry at night.
STU: Mommy left home because of you.
GLENN: Daddy's only an alcoholic because you're bad. So -- I mean, I think we all go through periods where we just don't give a flyin' crap. Generally that happens sometime after the marriage for most guys. It's like, whatever. More of me to love, baby. And then the women are vomiting.
The other side of this that I think is self-evident is money and fame and power. I mean, her man is now in the -- well, not her man. Is she still with her man? She never married her man because she doesn't believe in marriage, right?
STU: No, but I think they are still together.
GLENN: She's America's sweetheart. Anyway, her man, now Obama is in the White House. So she has power, she has money, she has fame and she's fat? Because she's kind of miserable. Money and power and fame, they don't bring you anything, man. There's no difference between being -- well, I can't say that. I bet she's got some sweet cars. Wouldn't it be great to have a Bugatti, Stu? I mean, if you just wanted a Bugatti, you'd get up in the morning and say, I'm kind of depressed. I could have a bag of Oreos or buy a Bugatti.
STU: Or you could buy a bag of Oreos and a Bugatti.
GLENN: And somebody could say, don't eat that, you might wreck the seats. You're like, I don't care, I'll just buy a Bugatti. That would be great, wouldn't it? Just think about that for a second. Do you know how much a tire is on a Bugatti?
GLENN: You don't? I read about Simon Cowell's Bugatti. It's great. How much do you think a flat tire on a Bugatti would cost?
STU: I mean, the car, you're looking, it's, what --
GLENN: A million dollars?
STU: It's a million, I don't think you can get one for less than 1.2 at this point.
GLENN: No, you can't. Deflation. $900 grand.
STU: At this point --
GLENN: I bet you there's somebody selling their Bugatti and will take a really good price.
STU: You can either have a Bugatti in about six months from now, or for the same exact price, six months previously you could have leased a Kia. They are about the same price very soon. No, I think for the price of a tire.
GLENN: One tire, goes out.
STU: For a million dollar car, got to be $5,000, $10,000?
GLENN: $10,000 per tire. $10,000 a tire. What the hell are these tires -- what are they made out of? What kind of rubber are you making the tire out of?
STU: They don't last long, either.
GLENN: Let me tell you something. I spend $10,000 for a tire? That tire better last the life of the car.
STU: There may or may not be -- I may or may not have spent several hours YouTubing the Bugatti driving around doing aimless things.
GLENN: Is it good?
STU: They are fantastic. Maybe we should put one in the newsletter today.
GLENN: I'm sorry that all of a sudden we've turned into CarTalk.
STU: But there's one where the guy is trying to do the top speed, which is 253 miles an hour on this open road and he says that that's it for the tires. Like, you do that once for three miles and you're all set. That's the end of the tires. You get them replaced after that three mile drive. That's how high performance they have to be. That's how fast they go. And at $10,000 a pop, I mean, you're worried about gas prices.
GLENN: No, you are not really. When you are buying a million dollar car, you are not worried about the price of the tires.
GLENN: Anyway, so why were we talking? So Oprah.
STU: Oreos in your Bugatti.
GLENN: As you are waiting for the $40,000 of tires to be put on your car. You are just sitting there and you're like, I ain't getting up, crank my fat ass up on the rack while you're changing the tires. I'll eating diamond-studded Oreo cookies. They kind of hurt when they come out the other end, but who cares. I got a team of doctors on call 24 hours a day to pick the diamonds out of my butt. I mean, that's how sweet it could be.
So then someone in the room brought up a more nefarious reason why Oprah is fat. Now, I don't personally believe this, but the idea was floated by that money doesn't really make you happy but being fat can make you a lot of money and make you popular again. Not that Oprah's not popular, but I mean, isn't the shine coming off of the Oprah star a little bit? I mean, doesn't she -- seriously hasn't she gone into some sort of phase where people are like, not really so much.
STU: She got a lot of complaints about, you know, the fact -- she's never been political overtly, and her coming out and actually supporting a candidate and campaigning for Obama, you know, she got a lot of complaints about that from, you know, normal women who watch the show who liked Sarah Palin, liked John McCain, whatever. So it certainly hurt her a little bit.
GLENN: All right. So here's the question. Is the Oprah weight gain a sign or evidence that money can't make you happy, or that money can make you so happy that Oprah will gain 40 pounds to make more of it?
GLENN: Because her being fat, people are like, oh, she's fat again.
STU: I need to subscribe so that magazine.
GLENN: "I just love her so much in her struggles with her fatness," nobody ever says that about me.
STU: No one.
GLENN: I am a yo-yo.
STU: Yeah. No one says that about guys.
GLENN: No. I lose 20 pounds every year, lose and gain 20 pounds every year.
STU: Yeah. Women, I think there's the attraction of saying, look, this is -- Oprah's a billionaire, she doesn't have to -- look, she's a normal woman, though. Look at her. She's gaining weight, she's having problems just like everyone else. That's the attraction to Oprah. That's how she became Oprah was people to admit that stuff.
GLENN: Right. Everybody just calls me fat.
STU: Right to your face, too.
GLENN: Right to your face.
STU: On the street, passersby.
GLENN: The thing on the goatee, that's why people are liking it. I'm now sporting a goatee, if you are watching this, an Insider and watching on the web cam and now people are saying it covers some of the fat face. You wouldn't say that to Oprah.
STU: Right. No one's going to say to Oprah, look, hey, that goatee covers one of the chins. No one's saying that to her because they are saying --
GLENN: See, I think you just said that to me but I could be wrong. So the question is -- and you know what? Roll the freak jury. Let's just take 12 cold calls.
VOICE: This is the Glenn Beck freak jury. 12 callers, one irreversible ironclad sick freak judgment. You are a member of the freak jury.
GLENN: To me common sense and self-evident says we can learn something from Oprah Winfrey getting fat again and that is that money, fame, power does not make you happy. That's not what life is really truly all about. Maybe you should get yourself married. You know what I'm sayin'? That's what is self-evident to me. But there is a more sinister side. Does Oprah's weight gain say to you that money can make you so happy that Oprah is willing to gain 40 pounds just so she can do a deal with Jenny Craig and make more of it? Freak jury, the number is 888-727-BECK. It's 888-727-BECK.
Steve, Oprah's fatness, how say you, sir?
CALLER: I say that it's for the money, Glenn. Absolutely.
GLENN: Now, what about her personality makes you say that it's for the money?
CALLER: Because she's starting to falter in the ratings a little bit. And like you said, with the people, you know, with her views on politics and her support for Obama, things have kind of died down with her and I think she's looking to get a little more money, a little more publicity.
GLENN: Are you generally a cynical person?
GLENN: Or is it just Oprah Winfrey?
CALLER: It's just Oprah Winfrey.
GLENN: It's just Oprah Winfrey. All right, Steve, thank you so much. Our number is 888-727-BECK, 888-727-BECK.
Let me go to Judy. Judy.
CALLER: Hi, Glenn.
CALLER: Love your goatee.
GLENN: Well, chicks dig me. It's a cross I bear.
CALLER: Money and fame cannot buy you happiness. So I say that's why Oprah resorts to eating. She has an obsession with food.
GLENN: There's no -- now, let me ask one of the judges here. Stu.
GLENN: Is there -- because, you know, somebody said in this meeting yesterday, isn't there a chance that she just, you know, can't stop eating. And I said, yes, there's a definite chance because I can't stop eating. So the question here is -- because I think that's absolutely true, but this is coming from Judy. Should we dismiss the jurors that are female or count them as less because all females, they have an Oprah fat thing?
STU: This is a very interesting theory here, and I would support it. I think we should eliminate all --
GLENN: Eliminate them or 3/5ths a vote for women?
STU: I don't think I could support -- I'm pretty sure that historically I shouldn't support that.
GLENN: Yes, you should historically. That was a good thing for African-Americans. On this I don't mean it as a good thing for women.
STU: We'll counter.
GLENN: Thanks a lot, Judy.
Let me go to Linda. Hello, Linda, you're on the Glenn Beck program.
CALLER: Hello. I don't think she's gaining the weight for the money. I think --
GLENN: It's just out of misery?
CALLER: Yes. I think she's depressed because Steadman won't marry her.
GLENN: I don't think she wants Steadman to marry her.
CALLER: But then she would be in a higher tax bracket.
STU: There is no higher tax bracket!
GLENN: I mean, she's practically Saudi Arabia.
STU: I would earn a little bit less than $50 billion this year so I don't have to pay that extra percent.
GLENN: Thanks a lot, Linda.
Let's go to Tom. Hello, Tom.
CALLER: Hey, fella.
GLENN: How are ya?
CALLER: I'm doing well. I don't think that it was on purpose. I think she's just an emotional basket case and she's got a whole industry things to worry about health-wise for years. I think it just goes to support her.
GLENN: So she's just miserable?
CALLER: Yeah, I think she's probably a miserable load of human.
GLENN: All right. Wow, thank you very much.
Vicky. Boy, the bloom is off the rose of Oprah, isn't it, at least with this audience? Hello, Vicky.
CALLER: Hello, Glenn.
GLENN: How are ya?
CALLER: I definitely think she is doing it for the money. I think the money is a price tag for that but I think it's about the money all the way down the line.
GLENN: What about her personality makes you think -- there are a lot of things I think about Oprah Winfrey but I do not think that she's disingenuous.
CALLER: You don't think she's disingenuous?
GLENN: No. What is it that you've seen her where you say, that's so disingenuous?
CALLER: I don't know, there's lots of ways you can look at Oprah and think that she's disingenuous. I think that maybe South Park painted her best.