GLENN: When this economy has turned around, and we're going to have a great party. You don't need to celebrate my inauguration. I'll give you a speech, you watch it on television and I have to talk to you about our plan for America. That guy would have a 90 rating! Because if somebody would say common sense. Instead what are they doing? Declaring a state of emergency to be able to pay for this. They are expecting millions of people to show up on the mall, and how many Porta-Potties are they going to have on the mall? How many Porta-Potties are they going to have there for an estimated crowd of 4 million people. 4 million people, if you went in and had to get a permit to do, you know, a big event anywhere, in any city in America and you said, I've got 4 million people showing up, how many Porta-Potties would you need? Can you call Kevin real quick or Google? You have -- oh, you have it? How many Porta-Potties? We have the strangest meetings at 6:00 or 7:00 in the morning. Kevin walked in and I said, Kevin, I need a little bit of research done. An! d he said, sure, okay, what do you need? I said, I need the number of Porta-Potties that would be needed for a party of about 4 million people. He said, what? I said, I need a Porta-Potty count. All right. Wrote it down. So how many Porta-Potties, if it was just you or me, how many would you need to get your permit?
STU: The U.S. Park Service says the rule of thumb is one Porta-Potty -- and this is going to make you feel really clean -- one Porta-Potty for every 300 people, okay? So the way they're kind of getting around the 5,000 Porta-Potties is their official estimates for the inauguration is 1.5 million.
GLENN: The official? This is the only time we have ever heard any crowd count in Washington be low. They are always like, "There are four people out there." "There were 14 million people on the White House lawn protesting." There were four people! Now the estimate, you know and I know, the estimates are as high as four million people.
STU: Yeah. And by that rule of thumb if you had four million people that actually showed up for the inauguration, you would need 13,333 Porta-Potties.
GLENN: Or they would not give you a permit.
STU: There are a lot of different regulations, but that is what the U.S. park service says is the standard. So if --
GLENN: What are the -- wait, wait, wait. What are the exceptions? If you were a government agency?
STU: Well, again not being a legal authority on Porta-Potty use, this is what the news is reporting is the supposed standard.
GLENN: If the Boy Scouts did this, could they get the permit with 5,000 Porta-Potties?
STU: I mean, in reality?
GLENN: Sorry. Boy Scouts can't use public land. What was I thinking? What a hate mongering group those guys are. 5,000 Porta-Potties. They should have 13,000 Porta-Potties. But the government is allowing this to happen. Again, would the government allow you to do that? No. Crown him on Tuesday.
GLENN: Okay, I've got another update from the poor man that I have relegated today to spend his day in Porta-Potty hell, Kevin. Okay, I just said that there are 5,000 Porta-Potties coming for the inauguration, and I asked if that could be done by the average person. No. It's 5,000 is -- they are estimating the crowd low. Does anybody know what the crowd was at the last inauguration? A million people? Were there a million people there? Find out what it was. You know, go for Reagan's. What was Reagan's? Go for the last big one, Clinton maybe. How many people were there? Now, this one's going to be historic. So you know it's going to be -- there's 600 rooms left in all of Washington D.C. in the area, 600 rooms.
So you're looking now at at least double anything that's ever been done probably. Estimates are as high as four million. You need 13,000 Porta-Potties for four million people. But Kevin tells me now, as he comes in during the break, he said that's only half the story. As the writer of The Real Story, Kevin, what's the real story on the number of Porta-Potties?
KEVIN: Well, of course, if you go through and you want to have a federal party on federal land, you go through I guess the National Park Service. So as an uncomfortable federal party, the rule would be 300:1. But if you want to have a private --
GLENN: Wait, wait, let me understand this. If I am federal, if I'm a government agency.
GLENN: I have to have how many?
KEVIN: It's 300, for every 300 people, one Porta-Potty.
GLENN: If I'm part of the federal government -- now again, I'm just looking for disenfranchisement. Does our government have to live by the same rules that we do? 300 people for every one Porta-Potty. But if you're private --
KEVIN: Right. If you want to, if you are a corporation or you just want to have a private party in D.C., you go through the department of, I think it's parks and recreation. And there's a convenient form online that you can go and fill out and along with your form which I think is $65 per 50 people, you will also have to send them a certificate showing that you have one Porta-Potty for every 75 people that are attending.
GLENN: So if we use what you would have to use, if this wasn't the federal government making -- again let's suspend all of the environmental laws so we can build a fence. That's what the government has just done. Now it's, we don't even have to live by our own rules because it's excessive, you can't afford it, it's crazy. But who cares; we make the rules. How many Porta-Potties would this event need?
KEVIN: I think the math was somewhere in the 53,000 range if you had four million people.
GLENN: So the federal government is providing 5,000 Porta-Potties for Tuesday, but if it was a private industry that had to do it, they would need a certificate verifying that if estimates were as high as four million people that you would need 53?
GLENN: 53,000. But no more than 53,000.
STU: Update on the inauguration crowds here, Glenn.
STU: George W. Bush's inauguration crowd, 400,000. The biggest ever was Lyndon Johnson in 1965 with 1.2 million. Now, the D.C. mayor actually threw -- their estimate is double that. The actual -- they are saying it could be up to double that. The D.C. mayor threw out three to five million as an estimate just off the top of his head as to what he expected. If it hit five million, it would be tied for the largest gathering in human history. Only the Pope has drawn crowds that would equal five million people. That's what they are looking at. And they've got 5,000 Porta-Potties.
GLENN: Only the federal government. Only the federal government. It is absolutely remarkable to me.